My husband is in the Army and we both work for the dental corps. He works in a separate clinic from me. There is a female that he works with that is trying to stir up trouble between us. She is spreading rumors, or having her friends do it, that he is flirting with her or that they are flirting with each other. I've even had people tell me that they "seem pretty close if you know what I mean". I know this girl is just trying to start trouble. I have talked to my husband and I believe him when he says that nothing is going on. We have a good marriage and haven't had any problems, thank God. How do you think I should handle this situation without totally losing it on her?
2006-11-27 09:06:50 · 9 answers · asked by Leaving on a jetplane 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your husband is flirting and you know this to be true, then you do have a problem that wont get any better without facing it. But if your husband is true to you, then making you feel comfortable and loved and secure should be his #1 concern. You are his #1 woman right? He married you! I would first talk with him about this and your feelings letting him know how others are viewing it. He may not see how he is coming across sending mixed signals thinking he is just being nice. If it continues then I would confront HER-he is your husband and this is your life to protect, Take a friend or have several friends to confront her letting her know that this is your family and you will not just stand back and let her move in. She needs to stop. This conversation should also include members of your family and his family so she gets the picture that the whole group is not going to accept her in your place. It does not have to be nasty, but it does need to be laid out that this will not be tolerated - or if he says nothing is going on, then he should not feel uncomfortable confronting her about the rumors while you are present. If she means nothing to him, he wont have a problem doing so. Good luck. Don't forget to ask God to intervene to keep your relationship sacred.
2006-11-27 09:22:32 · answer #1 · answered by GRETCH 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You please talk to your husband only. He should tell her with proof and ask her not to spread rumors like this. Also tell her it will ruin her life only. Since he is working for Army I mean a Government he can complain to higher authorities about that lady and ask the superior to interfere.
Secondly is there any chance of your husband's getting transferred to some other work place in army it self. If it is possible he can try. It is not you will do it due to fear of that lady but it is just to avoid any unwanted talks or situation.
Lastly if you have confidence on your husband just ignore everything and let her talk anything anywhere. Nothing will happen so far you and your husband understand each other. -
Best of luck for an early solution for the problem-
2006-11-28 00:49:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get with your husband and both of you confront her in front of other people. Act like you do not believe that she is spreading rumors about your husband and herself. Tell her that you have heard that someone is spreading rumors about her and your husband and you know that it is not true that someone is trying to hurt her professionally and turn her friends against her.Ask her what you can do to help her find out who is trying to hurt her with these false rumors. This way you have embarrassed her and in front of others she will have to either deny flirting between herself and your husband or get herself in trouble by saying "yes" she and your husband have been flirting. (this is against the military code of conduct) Be sweeter than sugar pie when you confront her, do not lose your cool which would make her happy.
2006-11-27 17:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by bettyswestbrook 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband should confront her in front of others. He needs to say that he has "heard from 'several people' that you are spreading rumors about their relationship. Why are you doing this since you know we don't have a relationship? Why?"
That way even if she denies it, he's gone on record as confronting her and calling her a liar.
Then you both need to ignore her.
2006-11-27 17:11:54 · answer #4 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to people that he works with. Ask them if they see any of these things actually happen. Also, if you are finding out that these are all just rumors, talk to the person or persons starting them and tell them nicely that you would really like it for her to stop. Hopefully if you talk to her and tell her to stop telling these stories, she will stop. Good luck.
2006-11-27 17:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would confronted him and let him know that it makes you feel uncomfortable when he speaks or is near that woman.
Chances are she is interested in him and is trying to pull you two apart.
If he loves and cares for you he would not want to hurt or make you feel uncomfortable.
I would also ask the woman for coffee or lunch and tell her how you feel. If she is decent and moral she will not keep pursuing your husband.
2006-11-27 17:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Matty A 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
embarrass her you know walk up and say you can stop tryin to cause problems because i know my husband is loyal and 2 he doesn't like females that act like little kids 3 we have a good marriage so your work is going to waste. if she still does it beat her *** thats ur man
2006-11-27 17:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by tracemiss 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I dont think you should say anything to her because she isn't the problem, on the other hand you should continue to talk to your husband because he is letting it continue
2006-11-27 17:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anointed 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
fire her
2006-11-27 17:14:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋