I chose not to attend the funeral of a friend of mine that passed away last week. It's not that I didn't want to pay my respects, it's just that I don't think I could have handled seeing her that way and I didn't want my last memory of her being her lying in a casket. Am I wrong for deciding not to go and to pay my respects to her in my own way rather than attending?
2006-11-27 08:53:07 · 28 answers · asked by ♫Joshua's~♥~Girl♫ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, of course not. Sometimes it's best for the family if you come by later when others aren't coming around so much. And that's all you're really doing, paying your respects to her family. Anything you could have done for her you did while she was alive and that was by being her friend.
2006-11-27 08:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by lucy02 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you were truly friends then that will always be in you, paying respects at a funeral is not about "paying your respects" to your friend but more about consoling the family and friends of the deceased. If you feel you need to pay respect to ease your conscience send a card to the family and write down how empty you feel losing your friend and how empty you feel for the family for losing their child, and never worry about others that took notice of your absence at the funeral, we all deal with this situations in different ways
2006-11-27 09:02:02 · answer #2 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that where ever your friend may be that she knows the way you are feeling and why you did not attend the funeral. you can still pay your respect towards her family if you so wish to do so and let them know why you did not attend the funeral. i also send you my regards to the loss of your friend.
2006-11-27 09:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely this is particularly your decision to make. i'm particular there are a brilliant style of human beings who pick to not attend a funeral for motives such as yours. yet perhaps interior the destiny you may substitute your ideas. in basic terms provide her a noncommittal answer for now. And besides, how could your pal ever understand in case you attended or not?
2016-10-13 05:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no some people would rather rememeber seeing them alive other than lying in a casket. i been to a lot of my friends funerals due to the war and some other stuff and let me tell you sometimes i wish i just would have told the family how i really felt other than going with my friends and seeing your friends or classmate lying there
2006-11-27 09:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by gibbs_20_11 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is wrong at all. It is a matter of personal opinion, you could always go to the funeral but not look at her in the casket.
2006-11-27 08:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, funerals are for the living, not the dead. Some people just can't handle them. You should absolutely pay your respects in any way you feel comfortable doing. I'm sorry for your loss.
2006-11-27 08:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong at all. You are not alone; many people cannot attend a wake, funeral, shiva, etc...
Don't worry about regrets, either. You can always pay your respects well by closing your eyes and remembering why your friend was your friend.
2006-11-27 08:56:45 · answer #8 · answered by Leo F 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is a question you will be able to answer yourself given some time to get over the grief. Nobody can tell you if this was right or wrong - it's between you and your friend who passed away and that's it.
The only thing I can definitely say you missed out on was the chance to grieve the loss with others who feel the same way. This can be a good thing but it's a personal choice.
2006-11-27 08:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by scruffy 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
No. when you put it that way, it is completely understandable to not want to see your friend that way. Maybe you should have gone to her family's house to pay respects that way or something like that. It's easier and more uplifting to be with the people who have other happy memories.
2006-11-27 08:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by SWTCHKS925 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋