husbands old gf saw my husbands profile on my space(we both have one) and sent him a private msg and he responded.you could tell she still had a interest in him and he avoided any talk of me.i should have waited and let things play out to see what would have happened but after a week i had to say something to him.he played it off as no big deal but as soon as he was alone he deleted his account that he had for mons.when i asked him about it he said it was like a dating sight and all these people were sending him private msgs so he wanted out.my question is how come it never bothered him before and why would he not tell me he was chatting with his ex.this may look innocent but he has a history of cheating with this person.she broke-up his last marrage so this is why i'm concerned.
2006-11-27 08:43:35 · 18 answers · asked by jakievincent07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My Space is evil. Just make sure he has no further contact with her. She sounds like bad news.
2006-11-27 08:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by Candy C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well heck ya I'd be concerned!
If his first marriage ended because of the same woman, that should tell the both of you that she is toxic to your relationship. He should have absolutely no contact with her whatsoever.
Since he has had contact with her, he obviously doesn't feel too badly about what happened to his first marriage. Also, since he didn't mention you at all, he felt a need to keep your marriage a secret.
It didn't bother him to be speaking with his ex because you didn't know about it. He's comfortable being devious.
He didn't tell you he was chatting with her because he may still have feelings for her, and was possibly open to seeing her again in the near future.
It's very hard to trust a person once they've been deceitful.
I suggest seeing a counsellor about this. Don't let it go because either you will become a suspicious beast, or he's going to cheat again. There has to be trust in a marriage, and lying is not a good way to build that trust.
Good Luck!
2006-11-27 08:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course you have reason for concern. Confronting him on it in a way that is not threatening or accusing him of anything is the only way you can justify the questions. You should never accuse anyone of anything unless you see it yourself. Never gossip. Also maybe this chick that he was talking to is trying to get back with him. If that be the case, she is just playing a very evil game that may blow up on her if she isn't care full. Never go after the other person and start something with them. Your only beef with anyone would have to be your spouse and only them. They know the commitment that you 2 have. They should be strong enough to say no go away. If not you may have another divorce on your hands.
2006-11-27 09:06:32 · answer #3 · answered by bje 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last sentence is my concern. You stated the ex-girlfriend broke up his last marriage. That is wrong, he broke it up. She could have been naked in front of him, but if he loved his wife he would have turned her away, either that or he has the morales of and alley cat, and the immaturity of a teenager with raging hormones. He deleted the profile out of guilt and getting caught not because he was sorry.
You can expect this behavior in the future, and I feel bad that you married this fellow in the first place. I would suggest a conversation with the ex, and your husband and than a good lawyer.
2006-11-27 08:53:51 · answer #4 · answered by John E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be concerned. Also, get one of the programs that you can plug into computer and see what sites he is visiting. If you have his pass word download his account on myspace and look at history. He can erase these accounts , also look and see if he has instant msg. Good luck and God Bless!! just went through this with my new husband it hurts.
2016-05-23 14:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first of all she couldnt have broken up his first marriage HE did. He is the problem because apparently he can't stop thinking or talking to her. It was his choice to respond to her look it doesnt matter if she still has interest in HIM what matters is that he seems to still have interest in HER! I am so tired of other women taking the heat when they want to contact an old friend. Is this women close to where you live?? Or is she 3000 miles away? If you are concerned you have the right to be but not with HER you need to be concerend about your HUSBAND.
2006-11-27 08:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by trouble comes a knockin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Myspace is EVIL!!!!, it can ruin soooo much. or maybe it just lets relationships that are doomed in the end , end a whole lot faster. Talk with him about it , if he is a real man he will stop messaging her and add her to his block list. If he refuses to comply , install a keylogger and if you catch him in the act of cheating , kick his A$$ to the curb and find a man that will love you and respect you the way you should be.
2006-11-27 08:52:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have inadvertantly run into ex's on my space, etc. before and they are ex's for a reason. If he deleted his myspace he probably is trying to avoid her and the temptation. Give him the benefit of the doubt but keep an eye and ear open.
2006-11-27 08:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id be concerned. And if hes cheated before I wouldnt let this go. Dont let him know but you might have to investigate. Check the phone or phone bill. Im sure you know his life see if he starts acting weird or making up lies about where he goes, etc. Id be cautious.
2006-11-27 08:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by Yellowtulips 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
private messages don't sound good. neither does a married man fooling around with what he considers a dating site. if he has a history of cheating, and is back in touch with someone who he got with while he was married, I'd be very concerned
2006-11-27 08:47:09 · answer #10 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would absolutely be concerned, he needs to get her completely out of his life! I would have a serious talk with him about it, and try to find out if he's created another profile that you don't know about. Good luck!
2006-11-27 08:47:01 · answer #11 · answered by Valerie S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋