He has a three month old little boy that we are now getting to see. my ex mother inlaw has a issue with my daughter being around his son. she says that it is going to make my daughter resent me. If anyone has been in this situation before, please help me. I feel like slowly introducing her to him is the right way to do it. we only see him for an hour at time right now.
2006-11-27 08:40:24 · 15 answers · asked by mommy 2k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no problem they are little kids, they will get along.
:> peace
.
2006-11-30 18:57:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a step-father. I may not be answering your question but...
if you give a flying damn what anybody says you will go nuts.
people are mean, selfish jerks.
If you call the boy your "son" people will correct you. If you say to someone you just met that this is "my son" someone standing next to you will say to both you and the person you're just meeting, "step-son" I swear to God. It's as if you just didn't know, or worse somehow, were trying to pass the kid off as - horror! - really yours ! That you are saying this only out of love and respect for the child is completely lost on these people.
If you buy things for your son people will ask you "why? after all, he's not yours"
And on and on like that.
In my experience the worst part about step-children is not the step-children. it's the mean, selfish, asses you will find out grown adults are the moment your son is part of your household.
Your mother-in-law is just the first of a steady stream of the same sort of crap.
Again, you must ignore this or you will go nuts.
But, with all due respect, you'll do it as well. Some day, you'll find a way to make sure your daughter ends up with the gold and your husband's son gets the shaft. You watch. You'll find a way. It is all so obvious that is the way EVERYBODY is that now I'm wondering why I'm even writing this. You'll be no different in short order. The Great Public should not be allowed to have step-children. The kids deserve better than they get.
2006-11-27 16:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoo A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex-mother in law should not be giving her opinions in your new relationship or marriage...this is just going to lead to trouble and you need to stop it. Your daughter will be just fine, it is a process of adaptation and it seems to me you are doing a fine job and need not to worry.
You need to start consulting with your future husband or you are setting yourself up to another troubled relationship. Let grandma in the past with your ex...this is a new chapter in your life, don't include the ex-mother in law in new decisions in your life, honestly..it is not her business anymore...as long as your daughter is happy , protected and in good hands...no one has nothing to say.
It sounds that you are very young too, my advice to you is to also take your time on this relationship. Dont rush into marriage. Both of you have babies and it seems there are still issues that are barely getting resolved (visitation, etc.) What is the rush girl you have a whole life ahead of you! Woman wait and marry again in their 30's 40's...he is not going anywhere if you wait a couple of years. Wait a bit more.
I personally have a stepson and he loves me so much because i have given him only love and affection and my boys admire me for it. He is an integral part of our lives. Do not separate your daughter from your future stepson, that will be a very hurtful thing to your new partner. If this relationship works out and they spend more time together they should see themselves as brother and sister.
2006-11-27 16:51:04 · answer #3 · answered by jayjay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your a mom and about to be a wife you are going to have to make choices like this only you vcan make them sometimes you'll do what's best sometimes you won't. it's growing up ....no one can say how this will effect your child you can only do your best. Tell your mother in law it's not her choice. PERSONALLY i feel it may be too soon to be married i would not myself ever date a man with very young kids. The fact you both have kids from other people shows you both have made poor choices in the past. I would wait till i married him. I would not want my kid calling a baby brother or sister this soon. If the baby is only 4 months that means you have not been with this man very long. I think you are jumping the gun but AS I SAID you have to follow your heart you can't please all the people all the time what is wrong for me may be right 4 you!
2006-11-27 16:48:16 · answer #4 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as the kids are treated equally and loved by both you and your husband to be then there should not be an issue. Your ex mother in law needs to get another life. The kids will grow up loving and caring vs resentment as the ex-mother in law thinks.
2006-11-27 16:46:28 · answer #5 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, your her mother, and just because you have a new relationship with somebody that isn't your daughter's father doesn't mean she's going to resent you. You should try and see if she could maybe go out and have some fun being around him or with him.
2006-11-27 16:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by Hankers 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its always touchy in that kind of situation. I think your hoing about it right by introducing them slowly. My only advice is to not let your daughter get too attached too soon. Relationships are tricky in themselves......and by the way, you daughter is not going to resent you.
2006-11-27 16:45:36 · answer #7 · answered by scottboss64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people put TOO much thought into stuff.Your little girl will probably love that little baby.Just give her plenty of attention too and everything should be fine.And I agree with the other guy--Tell your ex mother in law to mind her own business.
2006-11-27 16:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can be difficult, but as long as you and the boyfriend and ex are all compatible than she will feel it. If there are problems than she will feel those as well. She is young and will be the "big sister" to this little boy, you and her family need to play up this fact and she may become protective and loving as long as there is no outside influence to tell her otherwise.
2006-11-27 16:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by buxomkity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why your daughter would resent you. your daughter and his son could become good friends.
Its your own decision, not your mother in laws, just cut her out of the picture
2006-11-27 16:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Sammy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your ex mother in law needs to mind her own business..
Ignore her...
Your 2 yr. old can adjust in no time at all...
2006-11-27 16:45:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋