She has no faith at all in me or how I manage to keep things running around here. So she sleeps on the couch. I ask her to come to bed with me and she says "NO WAY!" and says she is afraid she will come home one day and find that the bank has taken the house and had the locks changed. My question is this: Should I make up a fake eviction notice with all the pertinent legal mumbo-jumbo, paste it onto the door, and change the lock? Would this give her what she wants? She says she is normal and I am the one who is sick. She has been worrying needlessly about this and using it as an excuse to sleep on the couch for years. I am at my wits end and I thought it might be good to give her what she expects.
2006-11-27 08:23:07 · 12 answers · asked by Kokopelli 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I will go with the majority opinion.
2006-11-27 08:27:58 · update #1
She refuses to get any sort of professional help or counselling because she says she is normal and it is me with the problem.
2006-11-27 08:29:56 · update #2
Sheeet. You sound like one of those rich guys. Always wringing your hands and wondering what to do. If it was me, I'd toss her lazy butt off the couch, hook my truck up to the house and drive away. Just give her a nice wave as you look at that rear view mirror.
2006-11-28 00:10:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So how are the finances? If you are making the payments and are not in the throes of foreclosure where is the problem. The next question is, what does any of that have to do with sleeping arrangements? It sounds like she is seeking you to manage. If that's the case its time to manage her as well. I think I might start with splitting your bank accounts. Breaking up the financial responsibilities into manageable chunks and sharing the bill paying. Then point out to her that you are not a business partner
but her husband and its time for her to start being a wife. Sleeping on the couch is NOT normal. it is a statement that she wants nothing from you other than money. You don't need to live with that any longer. Give her some options. Get her act together because this is not normal, get some therapy or get out.
2006-11-27 08:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I knew a man that when did the same thing. He was out straying along with drinking. He had a wife at home and daughter. His wife could never get him to stop. She left him. She waited until the daughter was 18. The daughter thought it should of been sooner. It is not controlling to ask a loved one to stop drinking so much and to come home. It just shows that you want them in your life. I think that he is taking the wife for granted. He knows that she will always play second to the drinking and always be there. He is also not giving her the security that she needs. Being to paranoid is when he comes home and spends every minute he can with his family and you still think something is going on. The question is do they want to show there children that drinking is more important then family?
2016-05-23 14:34:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does one thing have to do with another? How does the fear of the bank taking the house cause her to sleep on the couch? That makes no sense.
Anyway, most mortgage companies have a website that allows you to check on the status of your loan. I suggest you sign her up to be able to check the account as often as she wants, so she will see that your mortgage bill is paid up. Every evening just before bedtime, invite her to take a look at it.
2006-11-27 08:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually women are paranoid for a reason. Now you have to ask yourself why is yours this way? What have you done (if anything) to give her doubts? Just from what you've typed it seems to me that you are handling all of the finances without letting her know what's going on. Is this the case? If so, you need to include your wife in the family finances and you two need to make decisions together. She'll feel better and you won' t be near as lonely in bed.
2006-11-27 08:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I don't understand what money has to do with sleeping in the same bed???
But dude she is phsyco. if she hasn't sleep in the same bed for years, it sounds as if she is scared of you or at least the bed.
If you are looking out, just file for a divorce. or have her committed she sounds as if she may have some serious problems.
But I say what the hell give her what she expects. If a person is accused of cheating day in and day out sooner or later they cheat
2006-11-27 08:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by Richard W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because you dont think she should worry about it doesn't mean her worry automatically stops. Maybe its more about the fact that you dont care that she's worried that matters here. You guys really just need to communicate more and you need to take her fears seriously. Maybe its not just an excuse to sleep on the couch.
2006-11-27 08:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would tell her that her marraige cannot survive if she doesn't trust you. that sleeping on the couch thing is BS. she is either going to be married to you or she isn't. you deserve better than that. i wouldnt live like tha mark would hit the curb. and she should if she cant figure out what she wants. Good luck.
2006-11-27 09:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one of three things - 1) she's got serious trust issues, 2) she's cheating or 3) she's dead on about you. So which is it?
2006-11-27 08:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has issues,either she is avoiding you for some reason,which most women do when they have interests elsewhere;or she is being paranoid like you said,and you may have to give her a taste of her paranoia,and see how she reacts.
2006-11-27 08:34:20 · answer #10 · answered by Ellie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋