HATRED AND RESENTMENT ARE EATING ME ALIVE! HOW CAN I FREE MYSELF ? THEY HAVE WEAVED THEMSELVES SO DEEP IN MY SPIRIT I CAN HARDLY BREATH! LEFT HUSBAND AFTER 26 YEARS OF MARRAIGE DUE TO HIS PORN ADDICTION AND LIES! RAGE HAS GOT IT,S HANDS AROUND MY NECK! ANY ADVICE?
2006-11-27 08:21:15 · 9 answers · asked by sandra b 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The feelings that you are feeling are a form of grief. You are grieving for the marriage you wish you could have had with him. These feelings will remain with you until you find a way in your heart to forgive him for what you feel he took from you. This is not something that people can advise you about in this limited format.
I too was trained in the art of rage and hate as a child. It stayed with me for almost 50 years. I thought that the rage was in control of me until something showed me that it was a simple choice that I myself was making. At first this idea seemed preposterous. A friend suggested that I get a book called the course in miracles. I thought this sounded stupid and I resisted the idea.
Eventually I gave in because I was so miserable that I would have tried anything to get free of the debilitating rage and hatred that was so much a part of my life.
The course showed me things that I had never dreamed of. It taught me that I was in control of my thoughts, and that my anger was the product of the way that I had been taught to view the world. I learned that my anger was the product of my expectations and often my expectations were illogical.
Most of all the course taught me the power of forgiveness. Learning to forgive was the key to freeing myself from the self inflicted pain of the hate that I had learned to carry with me through life.
I suggest you get a copy of the course in miracles and see if it can help you the way it helped me.
If you think I can be of any help email.
I wish you peace of mind dear Sister.
Love and blessings Don
2006-11-27 10:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hatred u feel for him is because he ruioned what u felt for him. he let u down. expect that these feeling's are normal. your feeling alot of pain and insecurities right now. sometimes it takes years to get over a hurt someone did us that we didn't deserve, there will be day's when your down in the dumps, as long as u feel hatred u are tied to them, and it will keep u from moving foward in life.u have to accept that people will do us wrong in life,and for no good reason, just because they treated u badly doesn't mean there is a thing the matter with u.your terribble past is not who u are or who u will be in the future. forgive him and his deeds, and stop expecting him to be sorry or remorseful, he may never , sometimes it isn't possibble to reconcile and gp back in a relationship for our own psycological well being. yes it does hurt, u mourne what your marriage could have been and wasn't. get in a good support group, sometimes churches offer them, go and talk to others who are going through the same pain, things happen in life that we can't do anything about, or change.
2006-11-27 13:01:37 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i recognize it is maximum possibly an answer you do not prefer to hearken to. I even have carried hate for a lengthy lengthy time it rather is barely interior the final 3 hundred and sixty 5 days or so as that I even have slowly been in a place to permit it pass , the rationalization i recover from it is with the help of the fact I even have began to benefit with Jehovah's Witnesses & I even have got here upon love is genuine , they're restoring my faith in God & human beings yet I nonetheless have a lengthy street to commute yet i'm on the main suitable path.
2016-12-17 17:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prayer works wonders! If you angry with this man, pray for him! Pray for God to bless him. Pray for God to help you to forgive this man and pray for God to forgive this man. You won't mean these prayers at first because of the hate that is buried in your heart. But eventually you will actually start to mean it and then you feel better! Forgiveness is the key! Holding onto anger doesn't hurt the other person, it hurts you! When we are bitter and resentful, we block out the love that God fills our souls with! J
2006-11-27 08:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It is about cognitive behavioral therapy. It is self help but very good.
2006-11-27 10:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by Johnboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, hatred leads to destruction....only one way to get rid of this...accept Jesus into your heart...He is love and will teach you how to love....God bless ya.
2006-11-27 08:25:06 · answer #6 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a break, try talking to someone who can help you with these problems.
2006-11-27 08:24:33 · answer #7 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
burn his clothes.., put sugar in his tank..,, give his phone number to a gay guy and tell him he wants to meet him...... set up a date at his job......
2006-11-27 08:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by ladyqueenbeeee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy...get some!
2006-11-27 08:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋