i have cheated on my wife several times in the past. when we met we were cheating. one thing led to another and we fell in love. she stopped cheating but i was so use to it i kept going. recently she found out that i had sex with a young lady and that it was a possibility thaty she was pregnant by me. at this point my wife decided to cheat with a co-worker. we sat down and talked about it and we decided to give it one last try. i have let every woman in my life alone and have totally committed my life to my wife because i want to keep my family together. we have three beautiful kids and i want to do the right thing so that i could watch my children grow up. i have joined thye church and have given my life to god. it has only been two months but i have not had the desire to be with another woman. i love my wife very much but cheating had become so addictive that i felt like i had to do it. a large reason for the cheating was because i knew she would forgive me if she caught me.
2006-11-27 08:10:52 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bend over and take it up the A$$ just like you made her. After your butt has been split wide open like hers was, go to a marriage counselor and see if there's any thing left in your marriage.
2006-11-27 08:17:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sooooooo....YOU'VE been cheating all this time, which apparently was ok. But now you've caught your wife cheating and it suddenly becomes a big issue? And you sat down and talked about it and decided to drag the children into the whole mess by using them as an excuse to continue this whole dysfunctional excuse for a marriage? You could just as easily "watch your kids grow up" by hiring an independent third party to raise them while both of you move out separately, sleep with whomever you like, and just visit the kids on the weekends. Healthier environment for the kids; less drama and hypocrisy for you and the missus.
2006-11-29 10:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad, for you, your wife and your children. I'm happy you started going to church and are looking to God, but I think you need additional help. You both need some serious counselling.
Turning outside the marriage for any reason is wrong and it never solves anything. You may not have met under "ideal" circumstances, but saying that you kept cheating because you were "used to it" is just an excuse. The fact that your wife continued to "forgive" you doesn't make it "ok", nor was it "ok" for her to cheat just because you did!
If you want your marriage to work you both need to get some professional help. You both have to be willing to do "whatever it takes" to try to rebuild your marriage. It isn't going to be easy and it's going to take time but it is possible.
I hope for your children's sake both of you can get some help and commit yourselves to rebuilding your marriage. I wish you all the best.
2006-11-27 11:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think of you have lost the meaning of marriage. You are all your wife should need and she is all you should need, so why are you together if that is not happening? Do you guys really love each other and why are you still together? If you really love her like you say you do I don't see why it can't work, people have a knack for making things more complicated than they really are! If you are going to be together than it is going to require the building of trust on both of your parts. Just go back to the time when you all first met and think of all the good times and the not so good times. If you think that it is worth saving then you both are going to have to work at it, not just one party. But if only one of you wants it then you already know what to do!
2006-11-27 08:23:02 · answer #4 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is an integrity issue, not a desire issue or a attraction issue. It sounds like you, despite your history, want more. Why are you hurt again? If she wants more too, she will make similar strides to make a new day of it. For your kids sake, I wish you both the best. They pick up on more than you think and they will mimic whatever they witness from you two--the most important people in their lives.
2006-11-27 08:16:26 · answer #5 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to forgive each other and move on with things... Seek help and counseling for your marriage and relationship... Talk to your pastor or a friend at church about this and have them pray about this with you and seek God's help and guidance for your marriage. I am so glad you are a Christian now.... It seems like you both have hurt each other in this marriage. If you both need to talk I am here as well... Hoep this helps some.
2006-11-27 08:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm glad you are getting right with God but dont expect your wife to trust you any time soon. I mean If she did the same thing you did would you trust her right away? If your marriage is strong then It will work itself out with the help of God. Stay strong and please dont give her another reason to think twice about you because next time it will probably mean DIVORCE!
2006-11-27 08:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Love Child 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what made it ok for you and not her?..Now that your feeling some pain,can you imange how she felt?..Stop and think of what and how she may of felt.My husband cheated on me twice.So when I turned the tables around and I did it,It was all different..He cried and was so hurt.But I know that 2 wrongs dont make a right.But I had to let him know how much it hurt me as well when he did it.Your wife sounds like she gave you a dose of your medicine.And you should forgive her.For as long as you did it and she remained married to you.She deserves more then the hurt that was handed to her.Glad to hear you are changing,but still remember her feelings as well.If you truly love her,then your love for one another will get you threw.Good Luck
Personal experience as well..
2006-11-27 08:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by Brenda V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
now u know her pain when u cheated on her, but maybe all of this is behind u now, and u can give your all to your marriage. just be there for her and communicate on an emotional level, women go for men who they can easily talk to. just show her by your actions your serious about committing to the marriage and pray alot, and i feel it will all turn out for the best. sometimes we do have to suffer, so we will know what we did to the other person.
2006-11-27 13:15:58 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does this teach you anything now? Perhaps she will continue and continue. If you say you have stopped good for you.
Maybe you both really need some relationship counseling.
Since you now attend church, perhaps see the pastor for a session and maybe you can get some results.
good luck.
2006-11-27 08:17:13 · answer #10 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋