He is infertile due to an extremely low sperm count. Our other alternative is IVF and we only have a 30 to 40% chance of success. We are both 35 and have no children. We both have great jobs and work full time right now.
2006-11-27 08:06:45 · 14 answers · asked by miss_fred 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
This is going to be an extremely personal decision. If you and your DH are perfectly fine with donor sperm, go for it. There will be a lot of emotional issues involved, but if you can handle it, do it.
Adoption has it's own set of emotional issues. You have to be certain that it is what you want to do, that you aren't just doing it because you have no other choice. This shouldn't be a case of "Well, we can't get pregnant so I guess we'll adopt" because if you DO get pregnant there may be issues of favoritism (no matter how much we like to think we're above such things). Adoption should be a case of "This is definitely what I want to do and if I get pregnant...great! All the better!" If you have to question whether or not it's right for you...it isn't.
My DH has a high count but low morphology. We were told IUI was our only option, but what they didn't tell us was that we only had a 10-13% chance of success. We were offered the chance at adoption but we weren't in the right frame of mind at the time to feel right about it. I am also not comfortable using donor sperm because I want OUR child, not MY child. I have a friend, however, who has used donor sperm (and another using donor eggs) and they (after much talking with their DH's) are ok with it. It's all up to the individual person.
2006-11-27 08:32:53 · answer #1 · answered by tigger062077 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF my husband were sterile i would have a nice long talk with him about finding a donor, someone that closely resembles him and has or shares the same interests as my husband,etc... Adopting is a nice route to go if you want to but there is nothing more exciting than carrying around your own baby for 40 weeks. Just because you use a donors sperm it doesn't make the child any less yours or his and it is the two of you that will shape and mold the child for life not the donor. You have to look at all your options with an open mind.
2016-05-23 14:13:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call. I would probably adopt, but I have no desire to change diapers and would be happy with a child who is a little older. I am also in the enviable position of not having to work all that much so I have plenty of time and attention to give to a child who might have had a rocky past. On the other hand, if you really want a small baby or a baby who is related to you, you might consider a sperm donor. Adoption waits can be long and it can get expensive. Just make sure you read all the fine print and talk to your husband about how he really feels about you carrying another man's baby.
2006-11-27 08:14:53 · answer #3 · answered by joanby 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would try IVF first. I know people who have went through IVF and the chances were slim and none almost and they brought home beautiful children with a year or syear and half. (some with multiples!!!!). If you absolutely dont want to try it, I'd say adopt. There are so many children in this world who needs a good loving family and a home to grow up in. I wouldnt do the sperm donor at all because even if hubby is okay with it now, years from now he may not like the idea of it. Also it may make him feel like hes "less of a man". I hope I have helped!
2006-11-27 08:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would adopt. It's better to care for a child that's already born, who doesn't have a family, than to carry another man's baby.
I personally would never try a donor. To me, it's the same as cheating, just no intercourse. I could never carry a baby that wasn't my husbands.
2006-11-27 08:09:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well my husband and I both are trying to get pregnant and after several miscarriages and lots of depression with have thought of several alternatives to become parents. But sperm donation is not for us. We rather adopt, we dont want the child to only be conceived be one of us.
2006-11-27 08:25:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would personally adopt. There are a lot of children out there right now that could use a good home.
2006-11-27 08:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by LadySingsTheBlues 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
depending on your financial situation / if he or you are dead set on having a bio child...? My hubby and I are adopting. We aren't rich by any means and don't have the funds to go overseas and such, so we did reunification fostering / adopting to get the youngest child possible. We got our first foster children a year ago and are in the process of adopting one of them! He is 4 and not a baby by any means, but loves us like his parents and we love him just as much as if we had him ourselves!
2006-11-27 08:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
adoption has a greater success rate.
2015-10-06 02:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by anon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adopt, but if i was dying to have a pregnancy, i might try the donor sperm.
2006-11-27 08:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by Beamer 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋