been dating a great guy for 2 yrs and plan on getting married next yr.hes a divorced dad who is great with his kids never misses a school function allways pays his child support on time and goes out of his way to help his ex.the problem is he cheated on his wife 2x and left her for the second gf(was not me and did not last long)he said he was never happy in his marriage and his wife was awful to him and controlled his every move.i have met his wife more than once and everthing he said about her is true.i asked him if he was so unhappy why did he not just leave and he said its not that easy when you have kids.he said he wanted to do the right thing and try and make it work. i want to believe him as he really does love his children but i'm just afraid he will do the same thing to me.men can you answer this can a man be driven to cheat by a controlling wife?
2006-11-27 08:04:49 · 19 answers · asked by carriemartin0990 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Stop making excuses....
Of course it's possible... but... whether it was a mistake or not, is up to him... The only way it will be a mistake to him is if divorce happens.
2006-11-27 08:08:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men who cheat on one woman do not necessarily cheat on every woman he's with. There may be reasons why he's seeking emotional support elsewhere. Now granted there ARE men who will cheat no matter what. But for some men, if they aren't satisfied with the woman they're with, they will look elsewhere. Yes, it could be becaue the first woman is "nagging" (his word for it) and the woman he cheats with listens to all of his problems/bullshyt. And it could be because sex with the first woman is bad/boring and he is seeking excitement elsewhere. Is this the right thing to do? Of course not. But like your man said, he didn't want to hurt the first woman. It's hard to tell someone you don't find them attractive/sexy anymore and that you want to leave and seek that elsewhere. so they stick with the first woman and try to get the rest of their needs met elsewhere. But if you are the total package, your man will not seek anyone else, despite the fact that he cheated on his first wife. A cheater is not necessarily always a cheater. If a racist can change, if a burgler can be reformed, if a person can go from being an athetist to a believer, then there's no reason to believe that a cheater is always a cheater.
2006-11-27 08:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he was trying to find the happiness that he was not feeling at home. His kids are his world and he did not want to be away from them, but he wanted to be away from his wife (at the time) This causes great confusion. If you are truly in love with him, and vice-versa, then you will just have to follow your heart. Trust is a major issue with many couples. Just keep the communication open and trust each other with all your hearts. If he has found true love and happiness in you, then he would have no reason at all to stray.
2006-11-27 08:14:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you would be able to tell if he started cheating on you. Try not to worry about it too much. I have a similar story from my aunt who had 4 kids with her husband and he purposely left a used condom in the middle of their living room floor (tell me he didn't just want out of the relationship).. He's remarried now with another woman but he hasn't cheated on her
2006-11-27 08:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by Nickey b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right to be concerned. My feeling is that if he cheated on wife number 1, he's got an uphill battle to be trustworthy for any future wife. When things get rocky, we know he doesn't take his promises seriously.
He's right that divorce isn't easy, especially with kids.
But all that's just an excuse for him wanting to put his man parts where they didn't belong.
2006-11-27 08:09:03 · answer #5 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't want to talk about badly about a guy just because of the situation or the fact he is a guy but
"if the first time you didn't know wrong; there will be a second time. If there was second time, the third time will almost and always follow."
2006-11-27 08:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by blinded_by_you01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, some things never change. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. You can believe all you want, hopefully your hopes will turn into a reality, but it is unlikely by 60%. My auntie left her first family for my uncle. Two kids later and a ten year marriage, she left again. Lesson learned.
2006-11-27 08:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by Kevin L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no, a cheater is a cheater. everyone is grown enough to know right from wrong.
It all depends if the person loves u enough to stay faithful.
And im so tired of the lame excuse she drove me to it, she wasn't around for me so i found someone who was there, she don't understand me, shes to controlling so i strayed.
NO,NO,NO,NO.
U just didn't care enough for the person.
So a woman cant drive a man to cheat, its just him, and his lame excuse which nobody is trying to hear.
Its WACK and over rated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-27 08:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by will's girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater plus he left his wife and kids for one that he cheated with.
2006-11-27 08:10:05 · answer #9 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really matter if his wife was a B or not, the bigger issue is that he did not honor his vow in front of God, friends, or family. Are you willing to marry a man who cannot honor a vow that he swore to in front of God and everyone else at the wedding?
2006-11-27 08:09:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋