I got too close to my female friend and I told her I had feelings for her. She decided it wud be best to remain friends.Also said:
1) "I can't imagine you not being in\a part of my life" MEANING???
2)"I don't deserve your feelings"? MEANING???
Positive or negative comments? Significant?
I then told her a few weeks later that I needed some time away from her and she DISAGREED\WAS RUDE TOWARDS ME as a result---does it mean anything???Why?
She said friends don’t take time apart from each other,that I should get a 1)“grip”, for me to 2)“sort my head out” and to stop causing this 3)“conflict”---MEANING?
My reason was that she was behaving odd towards me and I thought it best we have some time apart.Especially for me to get over my feelings.
Have said I value our friendship and I mean that.
Advice?
p.s.she don't like talking about it.
Its like she doesn't want me,but doesn't want anyone else to have me.(she gets jealous when I mention other girls)
2006-11-27 07:57:08 · 14 answers · asked by sircrazydude90 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What should I do?Not speaking at moment...
2006-11-27 07:57:43 · update #1
oh-she blames me!
2006-11-27 07:58:08 · update #2
Sounds like she is terrified. She has slotted your friendship into what is comfortable for her. She doesn't want to lose your friendship and doesn't realize it has already changed. She figures that nothing will last hence don't start anything. She already has feelings for you or you wouldn't be friends. Of course she doesn't like talking about it. If you ignore it, it will go away. LOL!
If time away from her will allow you to 'get over' your feelings, it is not worth ruining a good friendship by changing anything. If you honestly think she is your soul mate and completes your life, take the decision away from her. Grab her and lay a loving tender kiss on her. You should be able to figure something out by her response. If she blushes or stutters or is silent or there is a pause before she blows up, it is proof she cares and is terrified. If she starts cying and beating on you, hold her gently so you don't get hurt but so she'll feel safe and cared for. Don't jump into bed or anything, just take it slow. Cuddle on the couch watching TV. A little necking and petting will go a long way to making her feel more attractive and cared for. So will helping with dishes and perhaps bringing pizza or something. Consider you time together as a 'courtship'. It will take some time for her to trust both you and herself.
Everything she has done and the way she has reacted tell me she likes you too much to put herself out there to be hurt. She also doesn't have great self esteem ie she doesn't deserve your feelings. She has done something or had something happen to her that she can't forgive herself for. Her rudeness is self protection. She feels she is losing you anyway so she'll try to push you away first.
Good luck, your friend has some baggage she needs to deal with. She sounds like me when I was young. I ended up marrying my best friend and we've been together now for 22 yrs. It hasn't always been easy but the friendship (mutual respect) has kept us together.
2006-11-27 08:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh bless you! I dont know quite how to answer this in a short way so it might be very long. I think that your friend values you as a friend and doesnt want you feeling upset about having feelings for her. She sounds very flattered and is in a position where she feels comfortable around you even after you have said all of this. She wants you in her life and she wants you to want to be her friend too. I think she is a really nice girl for telling you straight and not leading you on. If you are suggesting you two spend time apart then she is now thinking that she has upset you and you feel like if you cant have her as a gf then you cant have her as anything and this freaks her out, hence the "sort your head out thing" and i think shes right.
As far as her not wanting you and wanting no one else to have you I cant really comment about it because i dont know what she behaves like when you guys are together and there are other girls around.
If you guys are not talking now then you need to be the one to make the first move and make things right. Just explain that you have had a think and she is right, you giuys still should be friends and put all this behind you. I know it will be difficult but you need to think about how much you value your friendship.
I am sorry to ramble but i hope this helps. xx
2006-11-27 08:05:21 · answer #2 · answered by SARA H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means she's not attracted to you, but she gets off on the thought that you want her. she wants to keep you around for that reason. this doesn't mean she's a bad person necessarily, but she's probably pretty insecure. i'd recommend looking in the mirror and asking "do i really value her friendship, or am i just hoping that one day i'll be able to be in a relationship with her?" btw, a relationship with her is an impossibility. if she's not feeling attraction for you, there's no amount of rational thinking that she can do to "convince" herself to have feelings for you. it sucks, and it's something that EVERYBODY has gone through. my advice is to run away and meet as many people as you can.
2006-11-27 08:09:59 · answer #3 · answered by jerry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you really need to step back and try to get a hold of your feelings. Unfortunately, the friendship may not with stand this, but you can not go on pretending you don't have feelings for her. Now as far as she goes with the Jealousy thing we at times tend to just do that. We don't like other women taking our attention away we feel threatened. Sometimes we have to let somethings go.
2006-11-27 08:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by Toshee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's taking you for granted. she doesn't know her own feelings. advice: go out with other girls. do not text her for a certain time.
if you are just her FRIEND then she doesn't have the right to get jealous. Ask her the questions, WHY is she so jealous? WHY is she so possessive? Ask her if THESE mean something. Ask her WHAT feelings is she hiding? Ask her not to cheat herself if she is in love with you.
And if she says that she is not in love with you, then tell her that you are suffering every moment. You are in love with her damn it.
have some space if things does not work.
hope my advice is beneficial to you.
bye and take care
Goodluck!!!
2006-11-27 08:16:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds confused.
If I were you I'd badger her as much as possible to help 'make up' her mind.
Try calling her 10 or more times a day.
Maybe 'hang out' near her workplace/home.
Write letters.
The main thing is be as visible as possible in her life.
I think it sounds like you've got a good thing going there and I wish you kids all the best.
2006-11-27 08:10:17 · answer #6 · answered by Martin P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did I say to you last time you asked about this? She loves the fact you want her, and are good frineds, it's an ego boost. If she's a good mate then she will respect that you need time away to get over your crush, and would be glad, but she obviously doesn't want you to get over it, because then she wouldn't have you as her little plaything.
Tell her to sling her manipulative little hook.
OR, she really likes you too but is scared of seeing you naked.
2006-11-27 08:07:07 · answer #7 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dunno but have been in the same situation(hers) and it is terribly akward.. it almost makes you not want to be liked .. because its weird for her to know you see her in that way but she doesn't.. and it questions all your past friendship.. because what if it wasnt really friendship.. you know what I mean? I guess since you've been cold or not speaking to her she is scared youll have a new girl best friend in your life(hence the jealousy) and she doesnt want that because she still cares for you.. hope this helps... good luck..xx
2006-11-27 08:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl reminds me of myself. When my bf and i were just friends..he recently broke up with his ex...he told me that he cared for me and that he loved me..lol anyways...i told him that i dont deserve his love and what not because i was afriad to get close to him..afriad he still loved his ex.....this caused me to say thing tht hurt him....so i guess you should wait ...and she likes you too..but maybe too shy...keep on talking to her....so she knows you still care.
2006-11-27 13:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A red warm blanket. Yes.
2016-05-23 14:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋