Virgin with alot of questions?

Question

I am 18 and still a virgin and my friends tease and belittle me all teh time because of it. They've labled virginity as if it were a disease of some sort, I wanna know is it? I mean everywhere you look there is sex everywhere. I find myself asking is it worth it to be made fun of by even my sisters and brothers? I personally just wanna wait til i find someone I'm ready to give that to. I'm not a prude and I'm not waiting for marriage, just someone special. But its hard even my 14 year old niece has had sex before! I'm not saying that women who have chosen to have sex already are in any way less than I am. Everytime I see questions like this people seem to be applauding the virgin who asked the question. I do't want applause I just would like some advice on how to stick to my guns, because with all the peer pressure I just feel like I should, even though I'm not ready.

Answer 1

You have already answered your own questions. You are the only one that can tell you to have sex. Good for you for not wanting to just have sex to "get it over with."

Your friends (and even your family members ... FOURTEEN????) are stupid to just haphazardly screw around! Aside from the potential for getting pregnant, lets not also forget the disease factor! Stupid to fool around so irresponsibly.

The bottom line is, you need to tell your critics (because they're not peers or friends when they're telling you to do something stupid that you KNOW is stupid and you don't want to do) that its your body and your choice and they need to mind their own business.

There is NOTHING wrong with waiting to have sex...and you're doing it for the right reasons. Tell your "friends" to shut the hell up and live their own lives.

Answer 2

You're only 18. There are plenty of people who are older than you who have not yet had sex. I'm 22, and am planning to wait until I get married. No, I'm not religious. I view sex as a sacred and deeply, deeply emotional act, and once I lose my virginity, I can never get it back. Therefore, I want to "give it" to my future husband (wherever he is right now), even if it turns out he doesn't care whether or not I am a virgin. If I have sex before I get married, even if it's with someone I believe I am in love with, there's always the chance that we will break up, and I know I will be left feeling terrible. To get to the point, I want to be loyal to my husband even before I meet him... if I have sex with someone else, it's like I've already cheated on him. Do you know what I mean? I'm going to medical school soon, so I'll be studying for a looong time and it's going to be very difficult to find The One. I estimate the earliest I will get married is when I'm in my early 30s. It hasn't been easy for me because I am constantly "in the mood" (horny), but I know having sex with someone I don't love will only make things much much worse. I don't know how long I can last, because my body is pushing me to have sex, but as for now, I'm committed to staying a virgin for the next 10 years or so. Oh yeah, by the way, you can do a lot of sexual things and remain a virgin, and you can always have sex with yourself. So in my opinion, attempting to remain a virgin is not THAT bad. Additionally, once you get married, you can have sex every day or multiple times a day for the rest of your life! I am just giving you my perspective. You must decide what you want. Good luck! :)

Oh, by the way, don't let your friends' teasing get to you. You should be soooo proud you're a virgin because it shows you have your own values and you have self-control. In reality, they are probably envious you're still a virgin.

Answer 3

Well I think your fantastic for not going with the flow. IM 14 and have also not had sex so WOOHOO for virgins ( no offense to non-virgin types). Either way I've heard people say that the most precious gift you can a man (that you truly love or are oplanning on marrying(yaddyyadayada) is your virginity. So just tell them to back off and just because you choose to be a virgin cause you want your first time to be truly special doesn't mean that you ahve a disease. You just go and stick to your own pace. Soon enough people will admire you for yuour strength and tell stuff like your a marvelous role model for younger people these days. I sday you are and Good Luck with your problem. I hope I haelped you or shined SOME light on the issue.

Answer 4

Good for you! I think it is great what you are doing!!! And don't worry about your friends, they are probably just jealous that they weren't able to hold out. I was in the same situation as you. I just wanted to wait for the right person! I was almost 20 when I lost my virginity and I am now married to him, and trust me, I don't regret it for a minute!!

What's funny is you would face opposition either way you go. Girls who have sex face a different kind of ridicule, but they do face the same type of pressure as you. And probably more, because once you have sex once, it's hard to stop, because pressure gets much higher!!

I'd say do what your doing and be proud!!! It will definitely pay off for you in the end. Even if the guy you decide to sleep with first, doesn't turn out to be the 'One'. Because it sounds like you would find someone that would respect you for everything you are and wouldn't make it a bad experience!!

Congratulations!!

Answer 5

Just b/c you're still a virgin doesn't mean that you're friends can just tease you all that time. That's just wrong. Well, it shouldn't be that bad to still be a virgin, could it? At least you're not a tramp!!!!! I'm sure you'll find that special person someday, GOOD LUCK!!!!!! I guess people look at it as a disease, but there is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin. There are way more people out there older than you and I that are still virgins. You made a good choice by waiting until you fine " The One".

Answer 6

i think its great what your doing, i don't sleep around but i lost my virginity at a young age with no regrets i feel the experiences that come with sex help mold you in relationships and life they may feel they have something on you because they experienced something you didn't. Its hard to find the right person, but sometimes finding the wrong one works too that way you make all the mistakes with them and none later on. virginity is not a disease, guys actually find that more appealing. . your right sex is everywhere just don't set your standards to high at 18 most guys are no where near close to special. as for sticking to your guns you have done good the past 18 years maybe you are only having trouble now is because you want to experience it yourself don't listen to your friends and siblings they look at it like its no big deal and its not after a while. tell them how they make you feel in the meantime keep looking for Mr. right or Mr. semi-right

Answer 7

Stick to your guns. Sex is better when you wait for the right person. In theory when you do decide to have sex you'll be a lot more comfortable with asking for what you need and want. Don't listen to those fools who are harassing you. You need to do what is right for you. Tell them it's none of their business. There is no way you should be doing something your not ready for. Besides why do they care if you slept with someone anyway? And at least your not putting yourself at risk for a STD or an unwanted pregnancy. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I personaly would applaud you for keeping your virginity. if you arnt planning on waiting until you are married then, you should just wait until you find the right person. If you lose your virginity to someone you dont really love or dont feel they are the right person then, when you do find the person you TRULY love then it wont be as meaningfull to you, or them. I saw this thing one time where someone was jus haveing sex with people and they gave away a piece of a paper heart. then when it was the person they were going to marry that person said they wanted her to love them with her whole heart but she couldnt b/c they guys she slept with took a piece of her heart...ok well to wrap this all up: dont have sex unless it is with the person you REALLY want to share this special time with.

Answer 9

When questioning your desire to remain a virgin think about this: those who contracted VD, STD, Aids, etc, thought they were immune. It seems so easy to say, go ahead, everyone is doing it. Just practice safe sex. Sorry, there are no guarantees when using protection. So besides the emotional baggage it brings, I can tell you, for your health's sake you are making a wise decision to refrain. Besides, no one has to know you are a virgin if you are not proud of it. It's no one's business. Also remember when looking to your peers , the majority is not always right. You are one smart cookie in my book. I hope you stay that way until you know it is with a commitment to someone you can trust your life with.

Answer 10

Keep it. Screw what other people be a proud virgin. I am =]
You want the first time to be special which means the person has to be special. Besides I dont think it's worth it if you dont love the person. So keep it until you're ready no matter what no one says. It's your opinion that matters no one else.