Husband on drugs??

Question

I just found out from a very reliable sorce that my husband is into drugs. He has always promised me he would never do drugs. This really bothers me that he is now keeping stuff from me. And our first baby is on the way. I am so upset. Should I confront him?? I am afraid he will just get mad at me and lie about it. What should I do :(

Answer 1

Be very careful in how you approach this! My first question is what type of drugs? Do these drugs have a history of making a person aggressive? If so - you don't want to go in and confront him, he'll become defensive and possibly even violent. How reliable is your source? Would your source tell your husband what he/she told you? Have you noticed any physical or emotional changes with him? Really sit down and think about it. Look at the checkbook. Get all your ducks in a row - and then be supportive. Regardless of whether you want to continue your marriage or not. If he is willing to be helped, be there for him in the best way you can. If he's not willing to help himself though, you have to walk away. You can't make him. He has to want it. But make sure you aren't making a big mistake before you confront him. If he isn't doing drugs, your mistrust of him may cause problems. Good luck with it all!

Answer 2

Alright, first off, what kind of drugs? I really wouldn't get too worked up if he's just smoking herbs, but if he's into harder **** then i could see a problem. If you have a kid on the way then you need to look out for it, which means confronting your husband about it. If you don't, he'll keep on doing it, which will probably have a negative impact on the child's development.

Don't come to him in a condescending fashion about doing whatever he is doing, that will just cause him to get defensive. Also, don't start pointing fingers or anything of that nature. Instead, try coaxing him into a conversation about drugs and work your way from there. At least he'll have time to ease into the topic with you, and maybe open up a little.

I wouldn't stress it too much until you find out what's really going on.

Answer 3

First off, if you confront him you better be very confident in your source. If your source is wrong then you have opened a can of worms that is not worth opening. He will feel you do not trust him. Second, you do need to bring it up to him because your baby's health is at risk here. If he is in fact on drugs then they could affect your baby. Maybe you can sit him down and ask him what he would do for you and your baby. Point out that you are so glad that he doesn't do drugs or anything that could affect the baby at birth. Ask him if there is anything in his or his family's medical history that might harm the baby. Tell him about the possible history on your side of the family. If you approach him in a non-threatening manner he might be more willing to come clean if he is on drugs. Good luck!

Answer 4

Interesting question... So, from what I gather from the question, you're in the mind of the woman right now. So, let's deal with that first. Why is she there? She has a sexless relationship with a man she loved at one time, enough to marry. They have children together...this will play in the mix. However, this woman would have to know that her husband had sex with her after drinks the first or second time it happened! How do I know this? Because I'm an old fart who stuck it in while his wife was asleep and got caught in the morning. I was quiet enough to let her sleep, but trust me, a woman knows in the morning! (She wasn't drugged, but I was sneaking a bit while she slept.) So now we have a woman who "should" know that she's been raped while sleeping, but she stays? I mean really, my Honey knew I was just loving her while she was sleeping, but if this woman was in a sexless marriage, and it was her call, then she got raped and knew all about it, drugged or not! Why didn't she leave after the first or second time? Now, from the mans point of view. The man is laying next to his wife who loved him enough to marry him, have his children, stick around for 40 years...had sex with him a few thousand times...RAPE? How do you RAPE your own wife? The woman who married you, had your kids...bla, bla bla. I understand his line of thinking. That doesn't mean I agree with it. Now, the drug thing...this I have a problem with. And I have a problem with it because it denotes the knowing by the man that the woman would not otherwise give consent. THIS is the clincher in this scenario. No matter what else feeds into the story...this man knew that her answer was NO, so he drugged her to get a YES! That is a rape charge in any state or province that I have ever heard of.

Answer 5

You need to confront him. Ask him if it's true. Has he been acting differently? There are signs to look for, depending on what kind of drugs he may be on. I myself am a recovering addict. There are addicts and there are people that do it experimenting and so forth. The key is if they can stop using on their own. You might see how long he's been doing it and can he stop. If he has a problem, you won't be able to change him. He will have to want to do something different. NA Meetings work wonders. But maybe he's just experimenting and you can tell him how it makes you feel and that he made a promise to you. Just be honest and tell him what you are feeling. Good luck

Answer 6

What you shouldn't do is be so upset. Remember that baby feels everything you are going through.. I know its hard but you'll have to confront him and if he gets mad then he gets mad. You and your baby do not need to be around someone who is on drugs. Tell him if he doesn't get the help he needs that you want him to leave and don't come back until he gets help. Do you know you could have your chil taken from you if he is carring drugs on himself if you were to get pulled over by the police, or him being under the influence. You don't have to be the one doi8ng the drugs just you having your child around someone on drugs is considered chil abuse.

Answer 7

I think you need to sit down with him talk about rehab or else he needs to get off drugs himself. My cousins expierence with a druggy husband and a new born baby wasnt so good, Drugs got to him and tried killing her while he was high even though he said he loved her. She was found in the middle of the desert alive thank god. But be carefull he needs help and support if he cant let go you need to leave him for your sake and your childs sake.

Answer 8

Don't confront him without solid proof. When you have proof - real proof - sit down when he is straight and talk to him about it. Develop a zero tolerance for drugs. He needs to chose and can't have you both. Beware, he may chose the drugs. It's tough but I have a zero tolerance law at my house!

Answer 9

well if you confront him he just going to get mad at you and denied it.and there is nothing you can do to stop him from doing drugs.so you have a choose either live with it witch i hope you dont for the baby sake or leave him the chose is up to you.good luck.

Answer 10

he will lie about it ! drug users do get worse ! they get very hateful ! hate to see anybody go thru it but it is the truth ! good luck to you & your baby !