I have a 3 month old son. Should I break up w/my son's father?

Question

When I became pregnant he would tell me he was going to marry me, move in together and things would be fine. I gave birth 3 mths ago and currently live with my dad and sister and he lives w/his parents. Ever since I had my son he (31yrs old) does not tell me things are going to be ok. We've had a lot of arguments because of this. In the begining we had problems because he would not tell his parents that I was expecting. He finally told them when I gave birth. Now he wont tell his ex-wife he has a second son because he's afraid of losing him. When we started dating he was not divorced (he is now) just seperated for the past 2 years. She does not know that I have been in his life for the past 1 yr and ½ . Is that right? He just told me he feels I love him more than he loves me. Should I give him more time or is it a sign that he want's to move on. I have been very patient w/him. I feel I have been mislead and unfortuanately there is a child involved now. I need opinions

When I said he was seperated. They were no longer together. She moved out to a different city because she no longer wanted to be his wife.

Answer 1

Here's one opinion. Your son deserves to be supported by his father. Sue this man for child support payments and get a legal decree that orders him to pay you monthly for the care of his son. Make sure his ex-wife knows he has TWO children now. Do NOT marry this man. He will cheat on you, too, if you do. This is not a guy who deserves to have children. He's not setting a good example to his sons at all. Let him visit with your child, for your child's sake, but raise him on your own until you find a good man. This one was a bad choice, honey.

Answer 2

Ignore the self righteous !@#$%#$ on here that like to tell other people how they made a bad choice etc. The only thing you did wrong was trust a man to live up to what he really said. If he'll cheat FOR you he'll cheat ON you. He doesn't sound like he is ever going to amount to much AND he gave you that b.s. line about you loving him more than he loves you. No one could love this man as much as he loves himself! Keep the ex-wife out the situation if possible, she'll only make things worse for you, your child and the grown child of your baby. Definitely tell him he needs to start child support, no matter what he has to financially support his child. BOTH of them, not just his first! Luckily you live with people who care and are willing to help (I hope). But, no matter what you will be so much better off to let this guy go. He's sounds like more of burden than he is worth and he WON'T change! Not being married you should be able to get community financial support, WIC, etc. Never feel too proud to ask for this help it's not your pride you need to worry about, taking care of your child is number one. Sounds like this guy has been breaking your heart slowly for quite some time, maybe it's time to take your life back?

Answer 3

He needs to move in with you .... You should get married first however before doing this. Talk with him and see how serious he is about all of this. He also needs to be honest and tell his ex wife about this child as this is only fair to the child and the right thing to do. If he is not serious and not wanting to marry you then by all means move on!

Answer 4

mislead you say aww to bad. bet you never thought of misleading him when he was married and you fooling around with him bet you never bother to care that you got pregnant and didn't use birth control to capture him hoping he'd see the little girl or boy and drop everything and run to you. Can't say i feel sorry for you what goes around comes around.
He's probably woken up and saw the real you and what you veen up to and realizes marrying you isn't such a great idea.

Move on and hopefully don't use some poor sap next time.

Answer 5

Well he already told you that you love him more then he loves you. So I would consider that a sign. Plus, look at what he did to his now ex wife. I'm sorry I believe in karma, and what goes around comes around. You kept this information from her and now it's coming back to bite you in the butt. You need to cut your losses and move on for your child's sake. Demand he pay child support and leave it at that.

Answer 6

I have a feeling you are right. He did mislead you. Make sure you get child support from him, and move on. Divorced 31 year old who lives with his parents, believe me you can do better.

Answer 7

The only person who can answer your question is you. Step outside of yourself and look at this as if it was your best friend who was asking the question. If you are having doubts now, what will it be like if you continue??. Your are a person with feelings of your own, don't allow others to rule your life.

Answer 8

Hun' it doesn't sound like homeboy's gonna leave his mama. Let him go. Make him pay child support and move on. If he loved you and wanted to marry you, trust me, he would have done so a long time ago. I don't see it happening and I think you're wasting your time.

Answer 9

well if i were you i would move on it sound like he is a dead beat that doesn't want to handle the responsible of a other kid I'm sorry to say.i know how you feel Irma single father to.it was hard at first but it get better over time and if you need to talk any time please feel free to e- mail me.take care little ace

Answer 10

He has wayyyyyyyy to much baggage and he is 31 and lives with his parents wow. I'd let him go and you raise your baby.