to each other!! Now our families are going to get very angry but we want to stay commited for the children!! Anyone have advice on how to handle the families? They all got dragged into this divorce and basically think we are crazy!!
2006-11-27 07:12:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Staying together for the children is the WORST thing you can do. The ones that will end up HURT the MOST will be the CHILDREN. The two of you should rethink this.
2006-11-27 07:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by Monty L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How did you go from starting a bitter and I emphasize bitter divorce to committed after dragging others into your mess.
This is why it is good to handle your own business and leave everyone else to tend to their own to avoid what we have here.
Now, I wouldn't be angry, I just wouldn't want to hear about any more of your marital problems so in case you have another bitter divorce attempt, the bitterness will be on just you.
Divorce isn't a game of should I or maybe, or maybe not, you figure that out before you even attempt to divorce.
Anytime, I think divorce, divorce it will be because it means I have made up my mind.
Now, you both have decided to stay together, I am not sure about committed that is a big word that has a very powerful meaning. Staying together for the children is fine if your going to improve your marriage and show them you can be their for them totally instead of having marital conflicts that drive you to starting a bitter divorce because you wouldn't be helping but only hurting if you continue to conduct your marriage in this way.
I remember reading about a guy who grew up bitter because he was subjected to his parents constant bickering and they stayed married because of him and he as a adult said the only regret he had about his parents divorcing 18 years later is that they didn't divorce 18 years earlier and gave him some peace of mind from the emotional pain knowing he was the reason they stayed together.
2006-11-27 07:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are staying together for the children it won't work.... Your family has the right to think and act the way they do look at what you have done to them.... You should have just let the divorce go through just because you are divorced doesn't mean the children will be harmed because both parents will still love them and if that is showen no matter what kinda wuestions are asked would be better....... But do not hold nothing against the family because they are right to feel the way they do.. but since you chose to stay together I wish you and your family the best of luck
2006-11-27 07:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell people that you are staying married just because of the kids. You started to go through a divorce, realized it really wasn't what you wanted and decided to stay and work it out. That's all you have to say to your families. How did they get "dragged" into the divorce? Were they paying for it? If not, don't worry about it. People change their minds, sometimes it takes big things to happen, for people to open their eyes, in your case it was a divorce. You don't have to explain that to anyone.
2006-11-27 07:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by telling your family you have some good news and tell them you and your husband have calmed down and realize your marriage deserves and desires another shot. Tell them you and your husband were running on angry emotions.
Let your family know you appreciate them being there for you when you and your husband when you were at your worst, but now more than ever you need their support and not there judgement. We all get our families involved in the heat of things and realize later, bad idea, because we have filled our families head with all these horrible things and drug them through our worst fights. Don't worry about their reaction too much. Families are very forgiving. Use that energy for your exciting desicion to make your marriage work.
2006-11-27 07:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are staying with eachother for the children, then don't bother. They are stupid and will pick up on the fact that there's nothing between you and your husband.
As for your families, your divorce and / or getting back together is none of their business. It's yours, hubbies and your children's business, and no one else's. If they complain, tell them to button up and mind their mouthes.
2006-11-27 07:22:36 · answer #6 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-07 21:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about your families. You 2 didn't make a committment to each other for your family, you did it before God. If you think it's worth saving, I say "GO FOR IT" But....don't do it for the kids, it'll never work. I hope you can put aside your differences and make it work. Good luck
2006-11-27 07:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by cpewitte27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is great!!!! However do not just stay in the marriage for the kids sakes... This is definitley not fair to the kids or to both of you if this is the only reason you want to save the marriage. You are not crazy just work on your marriage and try to save it but do it for the right reasons. Hope this helps:)
2006-11-27 07:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, staying together for the children will do more harm than good.
I can understand why your families will feel that way. however, it is your choice and they don't have a say it in. But, I doubt they would enjoy you going to them with your problems.
Really think about this. Kids would do better seeing their parents happy than seeing them miserable.
2006-11-27 07:17:29 · answer #10 · answered by psykochatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋