How can I help my bother get over this girlfriend/with kids who dumped him, he was wrong to her he never helped her do anything and took her for granted.She kick him out and cheated with his friend the very same night she threw him out And now he is staying with me, he crys to me constantly about how much he hurts and what he should do? She has cheated on him several times in the past. Heck, when he met her she was married to someone else and cheated with him.What advice should I give?
2006-11-27 07:12:26 · 15 answers · asked by laviniablue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to stop using his body to express his emotions - that is what got him in this fix to begin with.
Usually women have this dilemma, and get caught up over their heads for a guy who is not suitable for dating or committment. This is a little bit of a switch, but does happen to men.
He needs to talk with a male mentor from work, school, Church or family member who can be confidential. He needs to get this female out of his system as soon as possible - and not by dating the next female that struts his way. He needs to "divorce" this gal, and give it lots of time - perhaps as long as a year or so - depends upon how lengthy he dated this gal and to what degree he committed his heart to her.
20/20 will forever be hindsight, but everyone needs to keep it in mind that a leopard does not change it's spots. If she cheated on one guy, she will cheat on the guy she cheated with (as well). It is in her psychological makeup to not take any man seriously, and to dominate as many men as possible. She is on a crash course, and eventually it will catch up with her (perhaps in a very bad way), and - of course - the kids suffer the most.
Your brother needs to see his relationship with her in blunt terms of black and white. Sit down with him with a piece of paper with three columns. First column describe general human characteristics or habits - Good or Bad. 2nd column has a heading of "She is like this" and third column has "She is not like this". He needs to see how destructive she is toward him, so that he can put her in LOGICAL rathar than EMOTIONAL terms. If he sees the logic that she is bad news to ALL MEN, and that it's really not about HIM, then maybe this can help him to pull away.
Healing takes a long time. Give him room, but keep an eye on him during this rough patch. You don't want him to do anything rash. You don't want him to fall into a deep state of depression.
2006-11-27 07:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First you should explain to your brother that love hurts, and that he should have step to the plate and help out in any way he could
when you have kids you have to think about their well being and focus on moving on in life as a couple with kids. Two now if she is the type of person who cheat's with his friend she has no respect for him are the kids. Just explain to your brother before he jump off into another relationship. Look deep before you leap find out about like dislikes get to know each other first. Spend time with that person just get to know each other first. Tell your brother to take some time for himself and learn from his and her mistakes.
2006-11-27 15:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by Earl H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First its a learning experience for him. Now he should know how to treat a female. Tell him not to chalk it up as a mistake hes got the kids still their that's a plus. He needs to find himself and move on. Even though its gonna hurt for a long time. It will pass though.
2006-11-27 17:41:18 · answer #3 · answered by sandra m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To grow up he brought this on himself... Tell him to take her to court get visitation rights to see his kids and pay support..... take him out to meet other girls.... Pity is the worst form of help anyone could offer someone.. so show him you do not feel sorry for him because he has done wrong as well.... tell him shape up or ship out..... He is old enough to make his own decisions... gieb him some time to heal and he will be fine.
2006-11-27 15:16:36 · answer #4 · answered by evil_fallen_angel41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's going to continue to cheat. He needs to get over the pity party, get a job, a place to live, a new girlfriend, and remember the lesson learned.
2006-11-27 15:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before I answer this ? Grab a dictionary and spell Brother 10 times!!!1
2006-11-27 15:14:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thats very nice of you to try and help your family. I do all the time and I realize that you just want your lil bro to stop annoying you. I can't help you on this one. Just try any hook him up with another girl in a timely manner.
2006-11-27 15:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by Agent Joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That she is a pig. He is better ofwithout her. And that he needs to learn about life himself and how to treat other people. If he chooses not to then he ought to stop his whining and accept the cruel fate that awaits him.
In other words, tell it like it is. Do not coddle the little boy.
2006-11-27 15:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by James 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean bRother? Sounds like a candidate for Jerry Springer!
2006-11-27 15:15:15 · answer #9 · answered by Kimber 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You reap what you sew.
Each passing moment, and each pain should remind him that he will remember this pain if he ever considers doing it again.
Beyond that if they are his children, get a lawyer, and be a good Dad.
2006-11-27 15:15:26 · answer #10 · answered by Scott D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋