one day i came home and i caught him masturbating to gay porn with his best friend.. he does not know that i saw him and i dont know how to confront him.. should i leave him? is he gay?
2006-11-27 07:11:41 · 22 answers · asked by ladiilovee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ewww...I would have confronted him (them) right then and there! There wouldn't have been any fireworks while I was around and aware of what was going on. That's B.S.
2006-11-27 07:14:30 · answer #1 · answered by Zelda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had better just come out and tell hinm - remember that time in August when you were masturbating to gay porn with Jim in our house? I came home early that day and saw you two. I stood there and watched long enough to know it was gay porn since there were no women in it and guys were going at it full tilt and I watched the 2 of you masturbate together. It is not something I made up.
I am not passing judgment on you - we are all free to do and be whatever. But you made choices for me without telling me and that is what I am upset about.
Now, what should we do about you being gay or bisexual? Here are our options. [1] We divorce and you can do whatever you want. You having gay or bisexual encounters on the side puts you - and ME - in a very high-risk disease category that I do not want to be in. That's what upsets me - you making that decision for me without consulting me.
[2] We can stay together and you can stop having sex with men - I can safely assume mutual masturbation is NOT the limit of what you have done. That probably isn't going to happen if you would be honest with yourself.
[3] We can stay together and you can stop having sex with me and keep doing every guy you want - this also won't happen unless I am the stupidest person on the planet or I am truly okay never having my own sexual needs fulfilled by you again and I am okay having you share our bed with other guys.
What other options can you think of? Me neither, there are none. So let's cut to the chase - we are through.
2006-11-27 07:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is a definite gay. Many gay men are married and many woman just don't know their husband's are gay. You are one of the fortunate ones. Take advantage of this chance life has given you! No need to confront him about it, you saw it with your own eyes. The question is...do you want to be married to a gay man? He is probably unhappy too, so do not feel guilty of leaving him. I personally want to have a husband who is 100% man and not half and half, i'll save that for the cream in my coffee. Sweety, sit down tell him that you saw him and that you want a DIVORCE! Do not make the confrontation about his sexuality being in doubt, that, you have already confirmed. Give him his freedom, he needs it to share it with his best friend. I have nothing against gays, i have gay friends but i dont think that this is fair to you. You are setting yourself to suffer even more if you continue in this marriage.
2006-11-27 07:21:05 · answer #3 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should only leave him if you cannot live with him maturbating to gay porn with his best friend. Is he gay? I don't know. Him masturbating to gay porn with another male is definately something that I would classify as "gay". You really should confront him (not attack him) with your knowledge and see what he says. Maybe he was just acting out a fantasy of his. You really won't know until you talk with him.
2006-11-27 07:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by Oracle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been married to him for eight years, ask him about it. Before you contemplate leaving him or questioning to yourself that he is gay, just come out and tell him what you saw. If he watching gay porn with another guy...can't image that there isn't something else going on, but until you discuss it with you will never know.
2006-11-27 07:17:48 · answer #5 · answered by skittle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure it was gay porn and what was his friend doing? That sounds like something you would see in a bad movie! I think you should ask him how he is feeling, what is on his mind. Does he love you? Go right to the heart of the matter. Try not to embarrass him, just ask. And if he is and there are no kids, go find a man for you.
2006-11-27 07:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm an Iraq warfare veteran too, so i comprehend how not difficulty-free that's on your husband to be away (and likewise how not difficulty-free that's on you too). yet besides reading the dribble, why did you marry him back? i do not realize why you ought to favor to marry someone whose first inclination is about the money he will be making? actual i did not examine the total ingredient because it variety of feels too lengthy. extraordinarily very comparable to this, in case you do not love him spoil up. in case you do love him attempt to paintings it out and move to counseling. both way, the bottom you stay at or close to has marriage counseling (and also you'll move with the help of your self in case you want) or talk to a chaplain. i imagine you've already positioned 2 strikes contained in the marriage and look at absolutely been with him 2 years. in the experience that your not chuffed and also you do not love him then spoil up and this is going to likely be extra reachable on you and him. in case you do then wait until eventually eventually he receives decrease back and attempt counseling. i do not imagine you being green with envy and stating all this previous stuff helps a lot. you ought to seek for suggestion from him about your emotions and perhaps see if some kind of consumer-pleasant understandings must be reached. sturdy success.
2016-11-27 02:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he's gay or bisexual. He will probably deny the truth. But no straight guy is getting off with another guy while watching gay porn --especially when he has a wife. If he's gay, then it's over. If he's bisexual, then you will need to decide if you can live with him getting extra on the side or if you want to have threesoms.
2006-11-27 07:18:28 · answer #8 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a fetish. However, does seem that this could lead to some kind of gay act. If you are uncomfortable with your husband masturbating with other men, I would say LEAVE.
2006-11-27 07:19:12 · answer #9 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I think I would be so shocked and hurt! You really need to talk to him. Tell him what you seen. Ask him why. And if he's not Gay drag him to counseling! Maybe it's some kind of fetish. Or maybe he is gay? god I don't know. But you really need to talk to him about this! I wish you nothing but luck!
2006-11-27 07:17:52 · answer #10 · answered by Just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my that must have been a shock, you have to let him know what you saw, a lot of gay men marry women just so no one will know there sexual preference.
2006-11-27 07:25:21 · answer #11 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋