Still no "word" or signs from my wife. What to do now?

Question

My wife left me after 3 months of marriage. It stems from my emotional outburst where i used foul language and yelled venting my frustrations regarding my 7 seven year old step daughter. Who i truly do love but was learnig to adjust to raising her, she still saw me as the friend and not the step father, and using the word "no" wasn't working. My wife has since left the house and moved back in with her mom, she has also filed for an anullment. I have tried calling and e-mailing, and she would not reply. I finally went over to her house and she simply said "you invovled her" and closed the door. I have been attending marital counseling, but it is getting tough because my wife won't attend, and it's hard to prove to her since she is not talking to me. What should i do now? I miss my family and it is very hard to understand.

Answer 1

Well you hurt your wife in a bad way....she wants her dauther to be happy and probably you took your father roll to serius.....just be honest with her and give her some time to think about it everybody make mistake and if you are really sorry you deserve a second chance...☺☻

Answer 2

Children can be frustrating from time to time... but there is no reason to allow a situation involving something like a 7 year old's behavior to escalate to the level of cussing and yelling and the like. You are an adult, and were a parent, and it seems that your wife expected you to act like one!
The time for counseling was BEFORE your marriage. Now your wife sees you as an unstable, verbally abusive, potentially dangerous person that for some reason she let into her, and more importantly, her child's life.
Sorry dude, I'm with your (ex) wife on this one. Any person, man or woman, who would make me feel like my child could be harmed in any way, would be right out on their ear. I definitely would not want my child to feel that the way you behaved is an appropriate way to work out interpersonal issues, and certainly would not want her thinking that it is ok for any man to treat his wife in that manner. You made a poor choice, and it looks like you get to pay a pretty high price for it.
Try to learn from this, perhaps even take some anger management and/or sensitivity classes. Don't press the issue any more, you could end up with a restraining order against you, and possibly a little jail time to think about your choices in the future.
Good luck-dd

Answer 3

Well ,

you should really write a letter.

And then read that letter.

I would first appologize to your step daughter

You are WRONG your an adult and had no business taking your frustrations out on the CHILD

And I really think your NOT taking responsibility.

your achamed that you had this outburst , but I notice you didn't tell us what was said , FYI it does matter what you said and why.

And perhaps your not the father you thought you would be,

It takes patience, and understanding, love , affection.

Its hard for single mothers to adjust to married life and same for you-

But its the worst for the kid who imagines that your gonna treat he just wonderfully.

She doesn't know you as her father. you aren't her father.

you are just a friend.

and you have NO experience being a parent

you needed to take inventory and learn how to parent this little girl, you needed to try to be a patient loving kind generous husband,

but you failed, if you really want things to work out then you need to change.

360 my friend

I just think things were worse than , even you've said and your pretending to make yourself a victim.

you are wrong so you need to suck it all up and fix it or let her go.

But you owe the child an appology.
And her mother, your wife

Answer 4

Man tough one. If you do happen to get back with your wife, a bit of advice, discipline should flow through her at first. Not saying you can't correct something that's wrong but always use mom.

i.e. Your mom doesn't want you doing that. Your mom said...
Or just have mom handle it directly. Step children are a challenge and they will challenge you. I stay hands off and flow everything through my fiance' or use her for most of the authority. Don't get me wrong, there are times I have to crack down but I make them rare.

In your case, sounds like the wife is putting her child before your marriage. Everyone loses it now and again, even paternal parents. She should see your sincerity and forgive and you all seek family counseling.

Answer 5

Did I get that right? You have no kids, save the step-child of hers?

If so, then help her leave. If not, and you have children between you, then find a way to talk to her about the consequences for the children.

Look, she is doing you a favor. You have an anger problem, that is a given, however, if she cannot communicate with you and talk about expectations, then you do not want her in your life either way.

She MAY be doing you a favor.

Answer 6

There is nothing you can do, you just have to give it time, I don't think she will come back, in fact I think that she has decided that its best to get a divorce and not be with you at all. I think that you should learn from this experience and move on.

Answer 7

Just give it more time. Sounds like you really crossed a boundary for her. You may never understand.

Answer 8

Why is it hard for you to understand that she is smart enough to know that she doesn't want to be married to a violent foul mouthed verbal abuser and doesn't want her daughter around that?

Answer 9

Women are very protective of their children. People like you may not be suitable step parents.

Answer 10

MAYBE SHE IS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE OR JUST HURT BY THE WAY YOU TREATED HER DAUGHTER I THINK IF SHE WONT EVEN TALK TO YOU SHE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME BECAUSE THE LEAST SHE CAN DO IS TALK TO YOU.