My husband and I have been married for just under three years. We have been arguing quite a lot and our sex life has gone downhill. I have been ill with depression and have gained some weight also. I had just started to try and get my life back on track by being back at work,applying for new jobs, dieting and exercising when my husband annouced he wanted us to divorce. He says he no longer is attracted to me and doen't see how he can get those feelings back. We are curently still living in the same house but in seperate beds, we are talking more and arguing less and we have a session booked this week with a marriage counsellor but I am unsure how this will go. If he doesn't feel attracted to me and is not allowing me to get close/intimate enough to try then how am I supposed to convince him we have something worth saving?
2006-11-27 06:48:12 · 11 answers · asked by Selina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The damage has been done and he may never be attracted to you again.
2006-11-27 06:50:34 · answer #1 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attraction is not just on the outside. Going to couseling is the best thing you can do for starters.
Go on a date with him. Maybe even the same places you frequented when dating. Use a perfume you wore back then. Sight and smell helps trigger memory.
Also do something drastic once things start to turn around. Cook naked for him. Wear a wig. Be really naughty (if he likes that).
2006-11-27 14:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll know after a session or two with the councillor.. The fact that he is willing to go indicates some level of desire to try. A good therapist will be able to tell you fairly quickly if there is anything to save.
Luck
2006-11-27 15:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His attraction could be waning because of fighting, etc. Stress has a huge effect on sex drive. Work on all the things you have been. Having a job, ect will help your head, and help you be prepared if the counseling doesn't work. And give yourself a makeover.Good Luck.
2006-11-27 14:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your entire marriage is based on looks, (what about love, compassion, commitment) then there does not seem to be a lot to lose. Keep on dieting, exercising and looking for a new job, and you will be surprised at how much better you feel. You may decide you do not want him.
2006-11-27 14:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by NAN G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Act like there is nothing wrong, do things that you used to do that caught his eye, before you got married. (Try different things) Start looking your best and doing things for yourself. If you get him wanting you again dont give in to him the first time. play wityh his mind. this may be wrong but it just might work
2006-11-27 14:54:43 · answer #6 · answered by MGR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your on the right path. Things about you and he will come out in counseling. Men don't realize if your not happy with yourself and feel sexy and great then it's hard to feel sexy and great when making love let alone be in the mood to make love. They take it personally and think it's something with them thus feeling inadequate thus not being attracted anymore. good luck
2006-11-27 14:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by prettyfroggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both need to have your own space for a while. Somebody needs to move out the house and try living on your own for a while.
2006-11-27 14:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn true love must be hard to find because real love wouldn't be caught up in something as artificial as this...
2006-11-27 14:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by mentalchallenge 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a horrible BS'er....he is cheating on you......look for clues, you WILL find them.
2006-11-27 16:19:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋