I've been married for 18months. I met my husband while both of us were in the military. I am currently out of the military now. He just got back from Iraq in Sept. I had a preemie (3months early) last year because of all the stress he put me through emotionally. I am currently making an appt for him to take a lie detector test to see if he has physically cheated on me since we've been together. I have caught him talking sexually to women on yahoo i.m. This was when we were first married. He told me he didn't know how to be a husband at the time and he was sorry. I wanted to leave, but I stary b/c of our son. I currently don't work. My job is my son. I am going to find a job as soon as I can find a good daycare for my little boy. I want to wait til after the lie detector test is done and base my actions on the results. Apart of me is say for get the stupid results, just get out of this marriage now. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, just hate the way he treats me.
2006-11-27 06:47:15 · 17 answers · asked by CHIGALORE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I get out of there as fast as I could he obviously does`nt care anything about you
2006-11-27 07:07:04 · answer #1 · answered by oldjr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the thing. You AND your husband have been serving our country and seen things that no human being should ever have to see. Because of this, you were not in a normal world. You can't hold anything against each other right now. He may need psychiatric help for his trauma. He is only back from Iraq 2 months!! Give him a break! A lie detector test????? Come on. In your shoes I wouldn't bother with that. I'd tell him flat out that you know he probably cheated on you (being away in Iraq and needing sex), but that IF HE LOVES YOU you will try to make your marriage to him work, if he will agree to take a test for STDs so you don't catch anything, and promise to be faithful to you from here on out. You promised to love, honor and cherish him until death do you part, did you not? And you are willing to end the marriage after only 18 months (during which he went through Hell not knowing if he would live or die everyday)? I think your son deserves better than that. Give your boy's father a chance to get himself back together. Ask him to go to counseling with you. Ask him to be honest with you, and don't beat him up for what he may have done in a war zone. It's what he does in the next 6 months that counts. Give him that long.. Please.
2006-11-27 06:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are still hurt from the initial time of him talking sexually on the Internet. Now you want the lie detector tests to just help you confirm. Don't wait for this, decide now whether you want to continue with your marriage or not. Searching for a reason to leave is not helping your marriage. Try counseling first and if you still feel you can't trust your husband then divorce.
2006-11-27 06:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the journey that your husband cheated and demanded the divorce, then it truly is something thoroughly out of your administration. dishonest is a personality flaw. Your husband's poor personality and means to stay as a lot as a dedication change into the placement. on the different hand, in case you fell in love with someone after your husband filed for divorce, the timing might want to correctly be inconvenient because you're not from now on divorced yet, yet i don't think of that makes you immoral. i might want to favor to grant you with a caution, inspite of the actuality that-- a guy who does no longer have intense reservations about being with a lady who remains legally married is an pretty undesirable signal. a respectable guy will watch for you. sturdy success.
2016-10-07 21:06:43 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hate the way he treats you what good will a lie detector test do? They have not been proven to be 100% accurate and cant' even be used in court. So you could get results that he was lieing and it could be false. He admitted to not knowing how to be a good husband and said he was sorry. I think your problem lies in the way he treats you and should address that problem first of all.
2006-11-27 06:51:11 · answer #5 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not to sure what your hoping the test is going to prove. You have said that he treats you like crap. I would think that no matter what the test says he will continue to treat you this way. If its in his favor it will be worse! I have always believed that you should never stay in a marriage if you are unhappy. Get out and make a better and happier life for you and your son.
2006-11-27 07:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, I know a lot of people in the military who get married and divorced very quickly. Why is that???? Anyway, it might be because you married someone you wouldn't have ordinarily been attracted to. But because you guys were so close in proximity (you probably work on the same base or fort), you gave him a chance. The reality is, if you believe he cheated, he probably did. Intuition is one of the best gifts God gave women. But you should at least try prayer and couseling before you call it quits.
2006-11-27 06:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want to leave him. I think sometimes it is one of those sooner or later things, and in my experience sooner is better than later. I lived with a couple that was struggling with their marriage, and they stayed together and were miserable for 4 years. They didn't have any kids, and finally got divorced. Both of them are happier and I am sure they wish they would have done it sooner. They still talk regularly, but were just not made to be married to each other.
2006-11-27 06:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by sofacue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what the results if he has made you that physically sick and you feel he treats you bad that should be enough. Besides you don't want your darling son growing up thinking thats how me should treat women. Good luck.
2006-11-27 06:57:50 · answer #9 · answered by prettyfroggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him but its just the way he treats you it isnt going to get better. You should either get counsuling, talk to him, or leave without a divorce and maybe he will realize what he doesnt have anymore. If he doesnt leave him and find yourself someone better
2006-11-27 06:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lie detector won't change who is he. Get out now...before you waste to many precious years on him.
2006-11-27 06:50:31 · answer #11 · answered by Lori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋