I am 17 going to be 18 on Dec 27. All my friends have had sex and I have not. I want to wait until I have found someone special, not just some guy, like my friends did. But I always feel left out when they talk about it and make little coments it makes me feel like maybe I should just o it to say i did. But then I remind myself that I don't. Even my older sisters make me feel like a dork for not having sex. I'm not ready to give up just yet but it is getting a little harder. I'm tired of being made fun of for not going their way. anyone have any words of advice on how to deal with them and keep my head up.
2006-11-27 06:43:53 · 17 answers · asked by I'm better than you 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i was in that situation all my friends had agreed on losing their virginty when they were 15 and i wanted to wait but they talked about it all the time and i felt stupid i waited a little longer than they did but i ended up doing it at 16
2006-11-27 09:46:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me say this to you...
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness in this crazy world of people who think that sex is something one casually does, there are still young people who are reserving it for the special act it is. I was a virgin when I married my husband when I was 21, and I'm so glad I was!! He is the only man I've ever been that intimate with, which makes it so special for both of us. I just don't think it would be the same if I could think about the time I "did it" with Joe, or Larry, or whoever.
It is hard when you go against what the world says is right, but you've just got to stay true to your own convictions, and hold your head up high. If someone does ridicule you, you can tell them that you're saving that part of you for someone special, and that it's too important to you to just throw away on a whim, or because "everyone else does it." And then walk away, holding your head high. You will be the winner in the end. Congrats to you and best wishes!
2006-11-27 14:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
remain true to yourself.
If your friends cannot respect you and your convictions, then they are not your friends.
Anyone can go out and have sex. Even dogs and cats with the brains the size of walnuts can do that.
However, it takes a very special person to be true to themselves and to wait to have sex.
I commend you for your strength, courage, and convictions. I have learned that when others try to belittle you, or make you feel less than what you actually are, it is because they see something in you that they wish they had. Have you ever heard of the expression, 'Misery likes company?" Don't let your so-called friends drag you down to their level. I see a lot of envy and petty jealousy by your friends.
Remember this. Your character and convictions are yours to control. Once you compromise those, it is very difficult to gain those back. If you have sex simply because your friends are doing so, you will regret it. You will have lost a level of character forever. Right now, your friends see you as a strong person, at least stronger than they are. But once you succumb to their pressure, your friends will no longer see you as the strong person that you are. You will never get that back.
Be strong and courageous. Maybe find some new friends... persons who value your character and strength, and who value virginity and abstinence.
2006-11-27 14:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by Jack C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was the same. They would all sit and chat about this and that and I would be sitting there saying eeewww whats that and that sounds nasty, etc. They would laugh and say you haven't done this or that and I would say no and they'd make fun of me and stuff. Labeled the virgin like it was a disease. Eventually I went to a party and it was taken from me as I lay unconscious.
My mom was my best friend after this happened to me and she said that I shouldn't worry too much about it. That virginity is over rated and that she has never been with anyone but my dad and after 30 years she wonders what it would be like with another man.
I am not saying just do it, but do you think there are really that many male virgins out there. I don't think there is. Men screw everyone they want whether the girl wants to or not in some situations and then they want to marry the virgin, which is backwards, as hell.
So I say save it for someone special but don't wait for marriage.
Your husband to be that is out there is not waiting for you.
2006-11-27 14:52:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are right to stay a virgin. Don't let others influence you. Have you ever noticed how the relationships of others don't last and how they have serious jealousy and insecurity issues with their boyfriends? This is testimony to the fact that they aren't ready to be having sex. Along with sex are consequences. Focus on your future and not just your high school days. This will pass and when you find someone who is deserving of the gift of your virginity. Someone who is willing to give you marriage. There is time for that. Finish your education and ignore others who just don't want your chastity as a reminder of what they have lost. If the subject of their sexual exploits come up just don't respond or come up with some excuse to leave the group. Sex at 17 is never as good as it will be in the many years to come. You aren't missing anything at this point. Be proud of being 18 and pure. Focus on your education the rest will fall into place when the time is right. You also don't have to announce to every one you meet that you are a virgin. That's personal and you aren't obligated to disclose that.
2006-11-27 14:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe they're jealous... because they were so careless with it and you're able to fight the urge in an oversexed world. If I were you, I would definitely wait for the right person, especially since you want to anyway. If you do go out and have sex just to say you did, you would regret it, which is probably why your friends and family are so quick to give you a hard time about it. Ignore them and do what you want, not what they're pressuring you to do.
2006-11-27 14:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by F.J. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once you do it...you can't change that fact...ever.
Please just wait until you are ready. I was sexually active at a very young age...it really isn't that big of a deal.(even when it is good...especially with women it get's better as you get older) Wait and get to know yourself first before concentrating on someone else.
Your friends are just being immature. In years to come the may even be jealous of you.
(one comment though...in my opinion it is important to have sex before you are really committed to someone because, if that part of the relationship doesn't work or if you have different expectations, you'll be sorry)
2006-11-27 14:49:48 · answer #7 · answered by kardea 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Think about it this way. Why are we supposed to save sex for marriage? Because it is only to be between a husband and wife. And if you have sex before marriage, you rob your husband of that special thing meant just for the two of you. When you want to have sex now, I'm sorry to be blunt, but it comes from selfish reasons. You want to be filled, but the truth is that you won't. Wait for your husband, save it for him. Do you want a virgin husband? If you do, what do you think he will feel like if you would have sex with another guy, or how would you feel if he had sex with another girl? Don't do it just to be cool or to fit in or not be made fun of. It's not worth it.
2006-11-27 14:48:26 · answer #8 · answered by god'sprincess 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Listen to yourself. You know yourself better than anyone does. The next time they start making fun of you tell them how immature they are and go on. Don't worry about what they think. The only thing here is what you think. You don't want to make a descison you will regret. I think you are on the right track. Girls who have sex just for the fun of it are whores. Plain and simple. Are you a whore?..........I didn't think so. Stick with your feelings........they are heading you in the right direction. I am very proud of you and your maturity. Good luck.
2006-11-27 14:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by Jewells 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having sex responsibly is great. Just don't mistake sex for making love. If you want to just enjoy the physicality of it, then go for it. Otherwise, being a virgin is very respectable and learning for the first time all kinds of ways to enjoy sex with someone you fell in love with is the best sex I could ever imagine. You sound like you already respect yourself much more than your friends respect themselves, so you already have it better.
2006-11-27 14:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋