ok well i have 2 best friends, but were all best friends witheachother and well me and one on my best friends do not like our other bestfriend man. Now he treates her like dirt all the time. So of corse we hate him. we tell her and she doesnt listen. Soo he talkes about us all the time. It sucks. Would it be right if we make her choose us or him? Its too the point where it sucks. She never really does stuff with us.
I know its not right but wat are we suppose to do??? help advice on what to do.
2006-11-27 06:36:55 · 4 answers · asked by rubikisses muuah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Please dont give her an ultimatum! Ok... this is from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, so please heed my advice. When I was in high school, my best friend robyn started dating this guy Nick. We were all friends at first and then Nick told her, he didnt want her spending so much time with us because he thought we were bad influences on her!!! It was ridiculous and of coarse she didnt listen at first. But then she started getting serious with him, fell hard for him, and spent less and less time with us. All at the same time, he was spreading lies about us and making her think we were talking bad about her when we NEVER were! Eventually we all graduated and moved on, and eventually the FINALLY broke up. It took us 3 years to gain that friendship back and when we did, it was as if we never stopped being friends. I've had the best 13 years of my life with that friend and I wouldnt change anything about it. But dont give her ultimatums, Just be there for her when the fall out happens, and be a real friend. You may not like the guy, but I guarantee, it wont last. Relationships that require that much change rarely do.
2006-11-27 06:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make her choose. If she hasn't seen the light already, making her choose between you and him is not going to work. She will choose him. Ever hear the saying "love is blind". She will not be able to see his faults until she is through with him. However, if she is being physically abused, then you need to get her some outside help. Someone who is impartial to the whole situation who can help her look at things from a different perspective.
I have a friend who is married to a jerk, he treats her terribly, and he is very controlling. However, she is still with him and most likely won't leave him.
She knows how I feel and all I can do is be supportive to her when she needs me. This is all you can do for your friend at this point. Hopefully, she will eventually realize what a jerk he is and that there are better men out there for her.
Keep working with her and working on her confidence. Does she feel like there is no one better for her, does she have low self-esteem. Also talk with her family and see if they can help out.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-27 14:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just had the same thing happen to my two best friends and myself. One of the girls is dating an abusive man, we think. Plus he is so damn ugly it is hard to believe she sleeps with him. But that is her taste, gross as I may find him. We tried talking to her about it, all it got us was left out. She doesn't talk to either of us now. I tried to be supportive, but when I see him, or hear about him I shudder. Not good. Now that she isn't speaking to me, avoiding him is no trouble. I guess the only advise I can give you is this...............If you want her to remain in your life, do not talk to her about her relationship unless she wants to, and then just smile and nod.
2006-11-27 15:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by aawatson3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep your friend. an get rid of boyfriend fast as possible.... any kind of abuse is not right. once someome is abusive, they will always abusive
2006-11-27 14:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by happygirl049 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋