How do u tell...?

Question

someone u work w/that u cant stand them without being too rude (it is a coworker), Lately, I just ignore them and only speak when necessary. However, there are 2 secretary's in the office me and her and we work side by side. Also my boss thinks she is just wonderful. (I'm in my late 20's, the woman i work with is like 60-70)

Answer 1

You don't tell them...not outright anyways. Keep it professional, be courteous but only talk business when you have to....she should get the hint.

If you come right out and say you dislike her, work will turn into a miserable time, worse than it is now. If she is real tight with the boss, you may even lose your job.

Good luck....Mike

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Answer 2

Well, you can't actually tell someone that you can't stand them without offending them, that much is certain. In your situation, the best you can do is probably continue to work hard and refocus your energy into more positive ideas and projects that you might be working on. I know it's impossible to ignore someone you work side by side with, especially if they aggravate you, but you have to consider how old she is and think about what good will come out of you speaking up in a negative fashion, especially given the fact that the boss thinks she is wonderful.

If things get bad enough, you should start looking for another job. But if you really like your job, aside from the annoying lady, accentuate the positives about it and do your best to minimize the impact that she can have on you.

Answer 3

Work is just that WORK. Grin and bare it. Your boss probably feels comfortable around her because she has been at the company since Moses was a teenager. In addition, she doesn't represent the threat to him that you might.

For the most part, co-workers don't have pre-determined attitudes toward others, something must have gone wrong, or one was rubbed the wrong way or slighted in some manner.

You may want to improve the relationship, and I think you should (if she has the bosses ear, she can make your work life miserable) if only to diminish workplace stress. You should approach her and tell her how you feel, why you feel that way, and suggest to her that you are open to suggestions she may have to improve the working relationship. The ball is then in her court. She can offer some options, or she can ignore the situation, in either case you will have shown her the open hand of friendship, not the closed fist of adversity.

Answer 4

From my personal experience, telling someone outright that they are rude and annoying is not a good idea. It will create tension at work and the people who think that she's "just wonderful" will probably side with her. If it's really bad, on the lines of harassment, I would tell your supervisor. Even if s/he thinks that Mrs. Annoying is "just wonderful," your supervisor is obligated to look at it from a neutral perspective. If anything, your boss will pull Mrs. Annoying aside and tell her she needs to cool it with comments because it is offending coworkers. As far as ignoring her and just talking to her when you need to.... that's probably the best bet. I've learned from my past jobs and trying to be "friends" with coworkers is not worth it at all. I am there to work, not make friends. I will talk about my work day with my coworkers, and ask them how their weekends were. Other than than the common niceties that are exchanged, I don't have anything to do with anyone there. They are not my support system, nor are they my friends.

Perfect example: I work at a cell phone store. A customer came in and I did something that I thought was okay to do. Instead of telling me it's wrong, a coworker went and told my boss and reported me for "commission fraud".... which was entirely wrong of her to do that instead of telling me at the time that what I was doing was not correct. My boss told me about it, and I told her that since I am new, I would appreciate it if she told me FIRST, and BEFORE I complete a transaction whether or not I am doing something wrong as opposed to being shady and telling on me behind my back. I wouldn't have even known that it was wrong because my boss wasn't going to tell me about it! He didn't think it was a big deal. The point of my story? I hate that chick. What she did was wrong. She's rude, offensive, and an all around menace at the store. I can't stand her at all. But, I told her in a blunt, professional way that better not step on my toes again. I say "good morning" to her and "goodbye" at the end of the day. Other than that, there is not conversation between us other than work-related stuff. I'm not being fake, I'm not brown nosing. I'm being professional. I have to work with her. There's no way around it. Instead of being a *****, I still said my piece and now we're square.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

Answer 5

I have heard many in your generation who think they just need to always speak their mind. No, no, no. If the boss really likes this woman and you tell her you cannot stand her, you will probably lose your job. As the others said, do your job and do it well, have only the necessary communication with her and be very respectful in that communication, and wait for her retirement.

Answer 6

I wouldn't come right out and tell them. I think what you are doing is good. If this person doesn't get the hint by you ignoring them then I would try to be professional about it but let them know in a nice manner how you feel.

Answer 7

This is the real world, and sometimes we just have to deal with people that we can't stand. All you can do is put on a smile and not make a scene. If you can't stand to work with her anymore, than maybe you should look for another job.

Answer 8

You dont or you get replaced. I manage over 20 people and they are not required to like each other, hang out with each other or exchange gifts on christmas. When hired I did not ask them about any of these things. My department is a machine of people working together. All I care about is that the sparplug fires the engine, not how the sparplug feels about the engine. If some part of the machine is not working right with another part (and no fault of their own) then it is my job to fix it. It it cant work right with another part, then it is my job to replace it with one that can.

Answer 9

do everything possible to avoid conflict. Kill her with kindness.
There is no doubt in my mind that she may feel the same way aobut you (women somehow seem to know when other women dont like them).

The nicer you are to her, the more she'll hate it, and then accept it. This doesnt mean you have to stop liking her, but it will definatly shift your negative feelings onto her .

Answer 10

Your co-worker is probably a lot better at her job than you are. You are too young to be good at anything yet. If I were you, I would learn as much as I could from her and keep my mouth shut.