been going out with guy. one month now. he seems very nice I really liked him. he treat me good. he always bring me flower. I Think hes the Nice's guy I ever known. anyways last night I met him we went to Th movies. and than we went to a nice restaurant. then we start talking . he ask me about what I think about sex. I told hem the best way is after married. he seems to agree with me.I been true I lot of pain from a previews relationship. and I dont know I fell like hes trying get me with hes flowers and spending money and stuff. becouse I believe a guy can do anything just get u. but Iknow not all guys like that. I really like him I think I am falling for him. but I still dint know. he told me that he loves me. but I dont know I am scared. I just had a big break up 4 month ago. I don't want to do it again. by the way Iam 21 hes 23. I dont know should I have sex with him.
2006-11-27 06:28:50 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Salma...
You sound like a very nice girl. Please understand that sex is the number one thing on a guy's mind at least 80% of the time. It's not his fault completely. We're programmed that way. We will do seemingly anything for sex sometimes. He will thus ALWAYS be interested in sex. You need to ponder these things well in advance of the act and consider the following:
Do you believe in God? If so, would God find it offensive? What is God's counsel on the subject?
Are you prepared to become a single mother? There is ALWAYS a chance. Condoms slip off sometimes. Pills are misplaced, appointments missed, and sometimes miracles just happen. That's why marriage can be important first.
Are you prepared for infection? AIDs is not the only killer. Some diseases remain hidden for years and can lead to cervical cancer.
Socially, how would this affect your friends and family if they found out? Would they be supportive or abusive? How would it affect the way he thinks of you? Sometimes women can become a source of sex more than a source of companionship. Which are you?
You may want to consider DATING! It' a rare sight in today's media, but lots of people still do it. To avoid sex, go out with friends and on double dates. Go to public places. Look for support per church or like-minded peers.
Avoid alcohol and being alone to maintain control of yourself as much as him. There is nothing wrong with being attractive and attracted, sensual and sexual, it's the natural way to be. Just set your standards high. If you're interested, let him know. If he's interested, tell him what you expect to happen before you have sex. If he loves you he will climb any mountain you put before him. I know...I've climed the mountain and it was worth it.
2006-11-27 09:04:56 · answer #1 · answered by luperith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to hold back from having sex. I man who truly loves you will make the commitment to you and marry you. If you have to have sex with him to keep him interested then drop him. You deserve more. Don't feel obligated. Buying you flowers and taking you out is part of dating. It isn't an exchange or down payment for sex. If he loves you then he will love you enough to marry you. However, dating for only one month is too soon for a serious commitment from anyone. Just keep dating.
2006-11-27 06:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have sex with him for what? He doesn't seem like he wants to rush into having sex with you just yet. Unless, its what you want to do. He seems like a nice guy but I can tell you have issues with trust and thats what's going to be your down fall. Not all men are alike and not all men what to dog you out. You just got out of a realationship and now you met this guy who totally gets you but you are afraid because you think that he maybe a dog like your last boyfriend. You have to learn to trust your heart and you have to learn to just trust. This guy seems like the real deal and you want to throw that away. Most women want a man to bring them flowers and cater to them. Hun, he is a keeper and you need to be kept by someone who is going to love you and treat you right and he seems to be doing t hat. God bless ya
2006-11-27 08:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a judgment call that only you can make. waiting till you're married to have sex is a thing of the past. at 21 you are not too young to make that decision. if you love the guy, then go for it. if not, then save yourself for the right person. he seems like a good guy and i don't think that's all he wants. that is probably one of the things he wants, but if he is willing to wait till marriage, then i think this is the real deal.
2006-11-27 06:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by asslpman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one that can answer that (should I have sex with him). If you really wanted to, you would not be asking a lot of strangers. Just take your time and enjoy dating - if he really loves you, he will wait until you are ready.
2006-11-27 06:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by NAN G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what makes you feel most comfortable. If you are not ready to have sex with him, then don't. Give yourself some time to think about what you want. You can always reopen the discussion with him later if you want. Good luck on everything!
2006-11-27 06:32:33 · answer #6 · answered by cotopaximary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have to ask if you should have sex or not then you obvious arent ready for it. When youre ready you should even have to think about it. You should just know that YOU want to. I also wouldnt do it until you trust him more.
2006-11-27 06:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by uh_huh_ok_wassup_shutup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with your gut instinct, if you think that it early, just wait. You'll know when the right time comes and apparently this is not the right time since you are asking this question on line. good luck.
2006-11-27 06:32:35 · answer #8 · answered by revolou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him to buy you a car (and a nice car too, not a Lexus or some other cheap import). If he loves you he will. If not.. He don't.
-HtJ
2006-11-27 06:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by hesterthehester 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should listen to your heart it will tell you what u should do
2006-11-27 06:52:47 · answer #10 · answered by rebeccadoylered 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋