Married 3 yrs to my best friend. We have one child. He wants a divorce b/c he wants to concentrate on his business. He basically shut himself off emotionally and buried himself further into work after two back-to-back miscarriages last year. We separated in July. He has his own apartment. We have filed for divorce but don't plan to finalize until the new year. He's over several times a week, brings over groceries, calls daily. Basically, it's like nothing has changed (except for him living elsewhere so he can work 20 hours and day).
I feel so torn. Part of me wants him to get his head out of his *** and come back and the other part wants me to just move on and find someone new...someone who will put family before work...am I being a sentimental fool??
2006-11-27 06:26:32 · 19 answers · asked by whatever 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Heart vs. Mind... Which in all acutally are one in the same... Your heart (love) greatly impacts most decisions you make first hand. Have you ever stood back and had a friend ask you a question about their spouse and you knew the answer was to leave. Same case take a step outside the window of your life and look in. What would tell your friend about their current situation. Chances are you would tell them to leave and find someone who has your same values. Its just most people have a fear of being alone. But I personally would rather be alone than with someone who doesn't meet my expectations.
2006-11-30 06:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not being a sentimental fool, your using your common sense. He can concentrate on a business and be a husband and father, it doesn't take a rocket science to figure this out. This has been done for thousands of years all across the universe and if I was married to someone who would even think of divorcing me to concentrate on a business, I would have to do some soul searching into whether this person is truly for me.
If I can be divorce for a business venture, I sure don't want to be walking on egg shells in a marriage where I don't know what's next.
Good luck, and have a long talk with him on how this is making you feel, I hope he can do both focus on his wife and a business and wish you success in doing both.
2006-11-27 15:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he have this job when ya'll got married? Did ya'll plan on having a family so soon? I think in time he will come around and come back home. If you really love him and want to spend your life with him maybe councelling would help or you could talk with your pastor. By him calling every day that means he still cares and is concerned about you and the baby. By him visiting and bringing groceries that means also he still cares give him some space and pray about it alot. I'm sure in time things will work out. Hope my advice helps. I've been married 3 times and the 3rd has been for almost 18 yrs. and we have never had a harsh word and we discuss everything before either 1 of us makes a decission about anything. I have a daughter and he has 2 sons and I consider his sons mine and so does he my daughter.
2006-11-27 14:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by Demetria S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your being a fool at all who wants divorce, no one. He is being a little selfish now but maybe it's because he really is focused on buisness. Obviously it has nothing to do with you b/c he IS still there doing the same thing. If I were you I wouldn't say a thing. Maybe he'll come around and maybe he won't but if you pressure him it will push him away. If he is still doing what he's been doing he probably doesn't really want the divorce just some space to be his own for a while.
2006-11-27 14:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by twodaughters2love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are just emotionally confuse because you have a great relationship that is turning sour. Is there no other way than to part ways with him? Maybe seek counseling and try to resolve your differences. If the relationship is dead, then you have to move on with your life. It hurts but it will hurt you more in the long run if you dont move on. Start going out again and enjoy life. In the long run, you will find someone new who will give more attention to the family you want.
2006-11-27 14:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not busy working. He has another woman. Why else would he have time to visit 'several times a week' but keep a separate apartment to dedicate himself to 20 hours a day to work. The math and logic are just wonky!!
You are letting him walk all over you. Get a divorce and don't look back.
2006-11-27 14:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by snippers72 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That sucks - he's running away from his responsibility as a father and a husband. Men love to use the old "I'm finding myself in my ...(fill in the blank)" bullstuff. It's all baloney. He doesn't want the responsibility. Unfortunately, dragging it out will only exacerbate the situation, unless he is the one that is driving the change. You're not being sentimental, you simply want your husband to follow through on a commitment that he is breaking because it isn't convenient. Men are lousy like that. Commitment doesn't mean anything anymore.
And I'm a man - go figure.
FP
2006-11-27 14:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you two should stop being so selfish about his situation and think about how your child is taking it. I personally am not married but i saw my mom go through not 1, but 4... so i know first hand what kind of toll it can take... and the fact is ... i wasnt even a teenager when she was going through them..i was a little girl...if you too feel that not being together is whats best.. then get on with the divorce...waiting only builds anticipation and anger towards both parties.
2006-11-27 14:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by Mal mal 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you still love him, right? Hey, try this, why don't you put this divorce thing on hold and just separate. But completely, i mean. Sometimes you have to lose what you love in order to see what's going on, and it could be that you both realize you can work things out. It could happen that you like your new freedom, too, but nothing's gonna happen if you go on acting as if you're still married.
2006-11-27 14:32:49 · answer #9 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being a fool. Everyone has a family and works it out to the best of there ability. Find someone new.
2006-11-27 14:29:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋