Got caught what to do now?

Question

Ok here is the deal I had been cheatin on my husband for 11 months emotionally and physically. I fell in love with the other guy and he fell in love with me. My friend told me that I should tell me husband and quit going behind his back I agreed that I should and said right after thanksgiving I am going to come clean with everyone. Before getting the chance to this so called friend called my husband and told him everything I was going to she knew that and she went to him before me then tried to cover her ***. Now she wants us to be friends ike nothing has ever happened both men are still wanting to be with me my husband and the other man. What I am suppose to do?

Answer 1

shes not you friend...decide and stick to it.take the consequences and move on,try to be happy

Answer 2

I would say this is a time when you need to sit down and do some heavy duty thinking. If you are truly in love with the other person but not still truly in love with your husband then file for divorce. If you are still in love with your husband then seek a marriage counselor to help you both with your issues. Your friend is no friend because she should have allowed you to come clean on your own. I would suspect she wants one of the guys herself and thought that her ratting you out would cause enough problems that she could snatch the one she wants.
Don't stay with your husband "because of the kids" it just winds up hurting them in the process as the relationship continues to sour.
Good luck and find a new friend.

Answer 3

You play your relationship like a coward.
You didn't like your marriage so you step out, but did end it then and there. You were keeping your husband as a back in case you couldn't find someone better.
At this point I would just let the poor guy go.

As for your friend she did what she thought was right and that is why in part she was your friend. I don't think the two of you can be friends any longer. She does what she thinks is right and you don't.

FYI,
Problems in relationships don't go away with a new partner. We carry our problems with us. I would spend a little time soul searching to find out why you could make your side of things work.

Answer 4

Tell the lover it's over with your husband listening on the phone OR in the presence of the both of you. You must tell this other guy in as mean and trifling manner your marriage is more important than he is (you want him crying and mad at you). Every time he calls or See's you from that point forward, give him the cold shoulder or not speak to him if you see him in person.

Apologies to your husband and tell him how and why it happened. You will more than likely need to go to a marriage counselor so the both of you can work out the issues in your marriage.

I'm usually very harsh with people committing adultery. However, I know my wife has an account with Yahoo and I'm really speaking to her directly. I know she reads these. I guess I'm helping you and her as infidels in one message (or about 300 now).

Answer 5

What do you want to do? We can sit here and go over all the should have would have and could haves all day and nothing will change what has happened. With that being said you need to figure out what and who you really want and stick to it. Keep in mind the grass always looks greener on the other side. Are you sure you want to venture over? If your hubby is still willing to work on things and you feel there is even a remote possibilty for that I suggust you do that, especaily if you guys have kids together.

Answer 6

Dump the friend for betraying your trust (although she gave you good advice) and decide whether you want to be with your husband or you lover, which I believe you already know the answer too since you been cheating on your husband for the last 11 months. Be a woman and let him go so he can find happiness too.

Answer 7

I can see that your pissed with your friend that she jumped the gun but since you have been cheating on your husband for almost a year I think she did the right thing because maybe she felt you wouldn't follow through on it. The only person you need to be mad with is yourself you cheated on the man who loves you and then kept it secret and continued it for 11 months you have no conscience it seems and the husband of yours seems to have no brains.

Answer 8

Who do you really love? Every marriage has problems but are you willing to loose something that you put time and effort into. What was the point in get married. In every marriage you will find yourself falling in out of love with that person all the time, that is the secret, you just have to be strong enough to know when your out of love at that moment dont let yourself make a mistake that you will regret, do you regret it or are you just fine with it....but you cheated on him and now it may be harder for him to get over it. You say that your husband wants to save this marriage so you owe it to him and yourself to give it a shot.....This man you are cheating with does he know your married. And if he does I would have to question his worth...because to mess with a married man or woman is just wrong period. Whos to say if won't happen again if you go threw with this lover....sounds like you have to alot of questions to ask your self...good luck

Answer 9

For starters why would you be with your husband if you wanted to be with someone else. A divorce isn't that hard to get now a days! I side with your friend. I would have told your man the second I found out. It isn't fair to him or your kids. I would want someone to tell me if my hus. cheated on me. You were being dishonest and manipulative and I don't think I would want to be friends with you. Why your friend does is beyond me. Maybe she likes the drama of someone Else's life! That's what it is drama and you are the star! As for your men, they are just asking for heart ache and deception.

Answer 10

How many years have you been married? how many kids are involved? If it's just the two of you then I think you should rethink your position and maybe consider a consular, or if he pushes, if it comes to push equals shove, then a divorce.
This is never going to work out, the both of them
sharing you, what do you have in mind here Tootsy, exactly what or whom do you think you are for Pete's sake. Give it up.

Get the heck out of this situation now before it gets worse.

Answer 11

If you were planning to leave your husband then you should do so. If not, then you need to give up all connections with anything that enabled you to have the affair and especially the guy you had the affiar with. Your "friend" is no friend. Drop her and the guy fast. If you can't do that then you owe it to your husband and your kids to give him a clean break so that he can fix his life.