IM NOT SURE if i made the right decision?

Question

HI,HAVE BEEN IN RELATIONSHP FOR 15+YEARS,WE SPLIT FOR SIX MONTHS THIS YEAR,HE HAS MOVED BACK HOME FOR 2 MONTHS NOW,I STARTED TO FEEL SAD AGAIN,WE HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER AND DONT THINK I COULD PUT THEM THROUGH A SPLIT AGAIN.HE IS TRYING SO HARD WITH ME BUT DONT THINK IM EVER GOING TO FEEL THE WAY I DID,I WANT TO BUT ITS JUST NOT THERE,WHAT DO I DO,JUST WANT TO FEEL HAPPY AGAIN.

few facts my children nearly all in teens, i do love him but yes i dont think im in love with him,he says alot he loves me,do i not owe it to him to keep trying,we haven't argued at all since he has been back,is it possible that i could fall in love with him again?

Answer 1

Split up again. If both people are not happy it can't work.

Answer 2

It's always tough when there's children involved. first and foremost, you need to ask yourself, do you still love him? do you want to make it work? I'm not trying to judge, but you did say that he's trying really hard to make it work. But you don't feel the same way. It's okay, not to be in love, but doesn't mean that you don't love him or care for him. It's just a different kind of love that your feeling now. Also, don't stay because of the kids, if you're heart is not in it, then it's time to move on. For you and your kids, it may not seem like its the right thing to do, but it will be in the long run. Good luck, I hope this help. Best wishes to the both of you.

Answer 3

You need to do what makes you happy. Obviously having him home doesn't do just that. Your children may have a hard time adjusting, but they will respect you in the end. I tried to rekindle a failed marriage when my oldest son ( now 10) was only 2 and it was harder to split the second time, but we came through. He understands that his father and I are much better friends than we ever could have been as a couple. It took awhile for my ex and i to get where we are today, but it has all been worth it. I am happily married (2.5 years) with 5 children between us. Best of luck to you and your children.

Answer 4

If you're not happy with him anymore, you're not obligated to stay with him, just because of the children. I don't believe in two people staying together, just for the sake of the children, there comes a time when you need to consider yourself. The both of you could still be great parent's, without being a couple, you just have to talk it over and work on it. Tell him how you feel and if he get's upset over your honest, so be it, life is too short, to be living it miserably. I'm sure a part of you still loves him, but that doesn't necessarily have to mean, you're still in love with him. I admire your honesty, but you need to tell him how you feel, not us. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

You can't stay with someone because of children or the fact that they are trying!

My parents stayed together for the sake of children and to be honest I would rather they didn't, they wasn't happy and that showed. Although it may be upsetting for them to begin with children are very resilient and they could end having a better relationship with you and their father then if you stay together

Answer 6

You are definitely not in love with this guy anymore, so be honest with yourself and tell him the truth. Never fall in love for children's sake as they have already adjusted to their new life. Move on with your life because life is what you make of it, it is either you choose boredom with this guy or happiness with a new partner. The choice is yours!

Answer 7

What is better for the children-you staying in a marriage and being unhappy (thus making them feel that unhappiness and marriage go hand in hand) or you walking away from the marriage and feeling better about yourself,not to mention happier. (Thus showing that independance is not something to be frightened of.) You don't mention how old the children are,but as long as you talk to them openly and honestly about what's going on,they will cope fine. Just keep the lines of communication open.

Answer 8

No... the poor pigeon exchange into effective until eventually you battered it! It wasn't in misery... somewhat taken aback, it particularly is all! How could you do this? How would you experience in case you have been abducted in a sack, scared yet respiratory, and then all of sudden overwhelmed to dying??

Answer 9

if i was you id split up you've only got one life so grab your happiness when you can, your probably feeling quite vulnerable right now and your mind will be playing tricks on you, can you and your partner not live separate life's but still be very good friends? you ll be surprised at how everything will just fit into place eventually, your children will grow up and eventually understand themselves the decision you made. good luck

Answer 10

your teens will eventually all leave home, leaving just you and him
when i was going through divorce i realized you cant stay together because of kids, you only have one life and this is it. Its not a dress rehearsal and if the loving feelings gone its dead and gone.

Answer 11

break up but this time, don't take him back for ANYTHING!!! just walk away and let your kids know what is going on... be honest that you guys tried really hard to make it work but that it isn't going to work, and have a schedule for them to go by so that they know they will see both of you, and try not to fight.
you should def move forward with your life... you gave it two tries, and needless to say, you can't change your feelings.