I've been in a long distance relationship for over 5 years (Liverpool/London) and the traveling is getting to me. We see each other most weekends, but I am no longer looking forward to hopping on a busy train every other Friday night. My BF can't leave Liverpool because of his job, I could leave London, but all of my friends and family are here. He says he's happy with our relationship just the way it is.
All of my friends tell me they wouldn't have put up with the LDR for so long. They also tell me that I shouldn't move to Liverpool. I have to admit that though it's a nice place to visit, I really don't think I'd like to live there.
I worry that I will end up with no friends of my own and my work will run out - my getting work relies almost entirely upon me networking with people I've worked with for over 10 years. If I'm not 'around' I fear that I won't be the first one on their mind to hire.
I don't know whether I love my life in London more than I love my boyfriend.
Help?
2006-11-27 05:43:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you are unhappy with the way things are then something needs to give and it sounds like it's you moving to Liverpool or breaking up with him. If he says he's happy with the way things are, be aware that there will definately be big shifts in the relationship with you there all the time. And it sounds like you'd have to start your work life all over again. I think after five years, it might be time to move on to the next stage or break it off...but that's just my opinion. I've had a few long distance relationships and while I enjoyed the independance of them, it eventually became wearing and the relationship ended.
One of them, my bf moved away to work for another company a long days drive away. I told him we could try long distance for a year but after that would have to make a decision for one of us to move or break up. After visiting once a month for 6 months I knew I wasn't going to move and told him if he didn't move back within a reasonable period I wanted to break up. He moved back, bought a house, started a branch of his company here...and guess what, we broke up anyway!
Only you can make this decision, and nothing is certain.
Best of luck!
2006-11-27 06:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a matter of "loving more" they are different kinds of love...Jobs change, status changes....people change....sounds to me that nothing that's holding you back is forever except family. Family and friends will last forever no matter where you live... If you've hopped the train for 5 years for the boyfriend...couldn't you occasionally hop the train to go back home for a visit?? This is the rest of your life your considering....However....I would not do it unless he is willing to commit to the rest of his live with you..... If he's "happy" the way thing are..maybe you need to re-evaluate your future.....5 years is an awefully long time...what if he wants another 5? Are you willing? If not...better think about change.....
My husband moved 2400 miles to be with me..leaving behind his job, family friends...basically his life to start over....(I have small children, his relocating in our situation was the best solution for us).....he does miss home....alot...however....we were married within months after his move, and our life together means more to him than any job could ever mean..and, his family is still family...and his friends are still friends...after 2 1/2 years.....
Best of luck!
2006-11-27 06:16:18 · answer #2 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say the best thing is to sit down and discuss it between yourselves I say this from experience as I was in a long distance relationship I met her on the Internet I live in the Isle of Man she lived in Holland and we fell in love with each other I was perfectly happy to move over to Holland but after a lot of decision she moved over to the Isle of Man with all her furniture 6 months later we were married and have never looked back My wife regularly keeps in touch with her family and friends via the msm messenger and phone they have been over here several times and we have been back there a number of time I hope this is of some help to you and good luck
2006-11-27 06:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you need your life in London more than the relationship right now. Given that you have been together for five years, if you had wanted more of a relationship with your boyfriend, you would have moved to Liverpool sooner.
2006-11-27 05:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by qurm_kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want the relationship to change, he doesn't. If you do move to live in Liverpool the relationship could well end anyway. I would not move, and if you really can't face travelling to see him anymore, then don't. Not easy, I know, but these types of change rarely work if only one person is interested in making it happen.
2006-11-27 05:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by Ego Fatigo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit down n have a good chat with him about where things are going. you say he says he's happy with things as they are and you aren't..maybe you see a future that he doesn't. Sort out where your relationship is headed before you make any big decisions like moving to liverpool.
2006-11-27 05:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by serephina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why dont u talk to him and let him know how u feel.. Communication is a key factor with relationships.. Thats really sweet of u to be the one to travel to go and c your man... Im sure he appreciates u.... I understand u not wanting to move from family and friends.. if u dont wanna move then dont.. Dont go and regret it if u were to move cause then u wouldnt be happy
good luck to u and happy holidays
2006-11-27 05:46:33 · answer #7 · answered by blue eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you need to stay in London and end the relationship but you need to talk top him first and tell him your worries. if he doesnt change his mind then maybe he dosnt love you enough for it to work any longer.work is important but not everything , you seem to already have your decision but dont want to take it.
2006-11-27 07:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by Mr Cynical 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll advice you move. in life we make ne friends but we don't forget the ol ones. the ever constant thing is change at first it's not easy but you could be happy again
Love
Lizzy
2006-11-27 06:20:22 · answer #9 · answered by ELIZABETH KING 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋