Why do parents use the phrase, "We trust you, but we don't trust other people"?

Question

My parents do this a lot, but they say i won;'t understand till I get kids. my thought is, they say they trust me, but they really don't. not trusting other people is a part of life, and aren't I old enough (i'm 15) to make decisions regarding what other people do. and everybody i know thinks i'm at least a year or two older that i really am

ok, I don't argue with them, I would just like them to trust me not to have friends who do stupid things. like shoplift. and I don't have friends like that and I've told my parents this.

Answer 1

It is like when a store clerk tells you we trust you but we don't trust your bank, the bank keeps saying you have no funds.

:> peace
.

Answer 2

When I was 15 (6years ago lol) I thought I had the world figured out. I didn't. My mama and daddy told me that they didn't trust other peoples kids because they don't know how they were raised. Now having a daughter (17 months) and expecting my second child (May 3) I totally understand what they're saying. It's not that they don't trust you because they raised you. Some parents are more lax than others. You've just got to prove to them that you're a good judge of character and that you know who's right to hang out with.

Answer 3

I smiled when I read your question because I'm a mom and I've said those exact words to my kids. My youngest is 13 and he's a great kid. He doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or hang out with bad kids. I do trust him to do the right things.

However, he is still a kid and I can't allow him to go places where there's no adult supervision, etc. Kids can be mean - they can literally force you to do things you don't want. Also, there are really evil adults out there that abuse kids in awful ways. Your parents care about you and they're looking out for you. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up - having to make all your own decisions isn't as great as you might think. I'm 40 and I still ask my mom and dad for advice!

Answer 4

Coming from a parent (mind you, my kids are only 6, 4, and due in April), I use this phrase because I know the kinds of people that are out there in this world. Also, I know how easy people can be influenced by those around them. I was abused as a child, first by my father (physical and emotional), then my step-father (sexual and emotional), and by my brother (emotional) and unfortunately I had friends that were abused by my step-father. I know that there are people out there that will take advantage of children and even of teens. I know that there are some that will force their will upon those smaller or younger than themselves. You may make good choices and your friends may make good choices, but there still may be someone that comes in and messes things up. Your parents love you and are trying to protect you from those that are out there doing stupid things. It only takes one hit from a drunk driver to kill you. Only one rape to cause you severe mental and emotional issues (not to mention STDs and the possibility of pregnancy for girls). This world is full of people who make choices based on themselves and what they are feeling and don't really care who else they hurt (or think nothing bad will happen). Don't know if this will help you understand where your parents are coming from, but I hope it does a little.

Answer 5

They say it because it is true. Seriously, take it from someone who had parents that said the same thing! I'm 26 now and can totally see why they said that to me.

The problem is that at your age, and maturity level, it will be tough for you to be able to handle situations that arrise, and react appropriately to them. My teenage years, I was so much more optimistic about people and about bad things that can happen. A little bit of life and you realize that even the nicest and most well meaning people can really mess with you or lead you down a path you didn't really want to go. they want to protect you from that.

It's frustrating, believe me I know. I can remember feeling the same way. now, I know what they meant and I'm sure I will react the same way with my own child(ren).

Just hang on, and try to somehow appreciate how much your parents love you to be worried and not just let you come and go as you please.

Answer 6

Honestly, its just a nice way of them saying that they dont trust you. Cause I mean yes, there is some truth to it, i'm sure they dont trust other people.... but if they really did trust you then they should trust you enough to make the right decisions. Or if you dont know what the right decision is, then they should trust you enough to know that you would come to them if you need help. Parents always say they trust their kids, but really its just them trying to convince themselves.
But dont stress it to much, in a few years whether they trust u or not it wont matter.
-ash

Answer 7

It doesn't matter how old other people think you are. Your parents are legally responsible for you until you are 18. If you are with a friend at the mall and she decides to shoplift, even if you were unaware that she did it, the police can still arrest you. In order to gain more freedom you need to not argue with your parents about their rules. This shows that you are mature.

Answer 8

there's this saying in Spanish that goes "tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what kind of person you are"
Same as "Birds of a feather flock together" or something like that
In other words if you hang out with the bad kids you will get dragged or influenced into doing what they do
Guilty by Association is worse especially since you have to prove yourself when you did nothing wrong.
Good Luck
And remember in the end you'll always have your parents so try not to screw them over

Answer 9

they do this because they care about you and who you hang out with. Look, you may be responsible, but your parents may not think the same about some of the people you hang with and just don't want to see you get in a situation where you'd regret it later. They don't want to see you get hurt. Respect their wishes and listen to their advice. They've got more experience in the world than you do.

Answer 10

people older than you will try to take advantage of you. they'll screw with your head sometimesto get what they want. its a sad thing, but true. you just never know how people are. that is why your parents say what they say. they are in your best interest. youn girls are naive (even if people comment that you seem older than you really are). be happy to have parents make your decisions now. its easier than making your own.

Answer 11

They use that expression because it is true..
AND..
15 is not old enough to make many adult decisions..
Give it a few more years..
Don't be in such a rush..
Your parents only have your best interest at heart...
Be patient..
Enjoy being a girl while you stilll can...