Who I should blame?

Question

For being the way I am.Im afraid of comitment and try to avoid people who are really interested for me. I get more isolated and i push them away , but in fact I don't want to be like this.I was hurt in the past, so I can't move on. How to change and be more open?

Answer 1

You change by trying, you open by getting more opportunities. There is no one who can help you but yourself.

Answer 2

Yourself. Only YOU can change who you are and what you do. While there were probably factors in your life that contributed to how you feel about things, the fact is that you are recognizing that you have some issues and you are recognizing that you need to change and move on. So now you need to continue to make steps to do so. You might need a counselor to help provide you with the tools you need to do it, but YOU are ultimately responsible for yourself. Get some help and good luck.

It is straightforward. YOU need to find the tools and assistance so that YOU can make positive changes in your life and let go of the past and let go of the need to blame someone else for where you are. The main problem right now is that you seem to want to place blame somewhere...but that's not going to solve anything. It's time to focus on making positive changes and STOP focusing on where to place blame.

Answer 3

Well, You really have no one to blame but yourself. Not for what happened to you in the past, but for letting it get to you, and keeping it for this long. You need to move on. You can't be afraid of what they will do. It would help if I knew how you were hurt, but I can see that you aren't comfortable disclosing that kind of information, and I understand that to the fullest. If you continue doing this, you will be alone for the rest of your life. I understand that you're afraid of being hurt again, but, in all essence, its just like being afraid of doing anything else after you've been hurt. I fell ice skating when I was 9, I broke my arm, and I was scared half to death about doing it again. I learned, and now I love it. It might not seem the same, but it is. This doesn't mean that you should treat people as objects, but it means that you're only hurting yourself worse by keeping this incident with you. Get rid of it, and you'll be much happier, I promise.

Answer 4

Whatever ur hurt was in the past is there in the past. U can't continue to cling to that hurt it is done with, PERIOD. It is time for u to move on and improve ur way of life today. Why r u looking to blame anyone when the blame is clearly U. U r the only one that can choose to go on or wallow in ur pity. So what's ur choice? If indeed u do want to change and don't know where to start I suggest u go to ur nearest mental health facility for therapy, so u get to know u. U r not alone and u r not the ONLY person in this life with ur problem others r going through what u r going through and have gone through it and want to help u get through this. Make that call. God bless.

Answer 5

I am not of opinion you are to blame for your past, but certainly if you take responsibility for what happened it would help you to move forward.

In practical sense, there are miriad of teachniques out there that help people move forward and be what they want to be. Start from self-help books and see what works for you. My personal hero is Richard Bandler, who co-founded NLP, a very powerful way to change.

Answer 6

I have to say I read the question and all the answers before mine.
Truth is I am in the same predicament!! And yeah we are the ones to blame . Maybe the question should be where do we start to realize and change?
I wish I had an answer that was straight forward but I DON'T
.....I'll keep up with this question....

Answer 7

start from conquering the fear in your heart and start a new life

Answer 8

blame jebus