I've been seeing someone for nearly a year. This man is self employed and has been for over a year. Since having this business he has had many financial setbacks. He's had to go to a friend for money, which he did pay back. Even after this loan from friend he ran into more money problems. I offered to loan him money once and he paid me back right away. The following month he needed money again and asked if I could help. I did, again he paid me back. This has now happened on several occassions. Although he pays me back I am struggling with how I feel about this relationship now. I feel like I'm here just to simply float money for him. I don't mind helping, but its getting to be too much for me. I just feel I made a mistake to ever offer to loan him this money. Any thoughts?
2006-11-27 05:06:23 · 12 answers · asked by tranquil1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think its a mistake to do business with family and friends. Period. And you're right - it does change things. I have one friend who has borrowed money from me twice and although she paid me back within a month, it has affected our friendship. One rule of thumb when loaning to family/friends is to never loan money if you can't afford to never see again, because it may come down to having the friend or the money but not both. Now that you are in this situation, its harder to get out, but you would be advised to write up a loan statement each time you loan him money, stating the amount and the payment plan for him to return the money. This way if he ever defaults, you have something to take to small claims court. Good luck.
2006-11-27 05:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by auskan2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that was a mistake loaning him the money in the first place. What he needs to do is to set up a line of credit with a bank. He should also go see a bank that will do an SBA loan. (Small business association) This is a governement load that will help small business to grow and become better businesses.
No personal relationship should ever be based on money. When that happens generally there is an emptiness to the relationship. You have become his bank not his lover or his best freind. He knows he can come to you for support when he needs it.
At least those are my thoughts.
2006-11-27 05:12:17 · answer #2 · answered by mikeae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Loaning money to friends and family isn't always such a great deal. But the good thing is if you refuse you will see what his reaction is and if you wish to continue along with this relationship. If things go kindly you could possibly say maybe he should think about ending his Self employment and go get a Real Job once again. Then see what happens.
Good luck...
2006-11-27 05:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by Scott 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....if he pays you right back then whats the real problem. The only thing I see is that you have a problem with lending him money. And I might add you started it...so what if you were the one borrowing money. With a business its hard the first year or two. Once the money starts rolling end...how will you feel then!
2006-11-27 05:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by inquistive275 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well why don't you test your boyfriend and I am sure if he respects the relation between you he will accept but If you only resemble money as you said then he will react to it but you might be on the other hand wrong maybe Because of the problems he is facing he didn't notice you do not like it anymore give the guy a chance and try talking to him and explain to him how do you feel about what is going on.
2006-11-27 05:15:04 · answer #5 · answered by ThE oNe FoR aLl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man who has any decency or dignity would ask for a loan from his girlfriend. That is what lending institutions are for. Men who ask to borrow money from their 'friends" do so knowing full well that they do not have to repay the loan or can take their time in doing so. They would rather endanger the relationship than pay the money back. how's that for scruples huh?
Hope you didn't just get a fu*king...but alas....I think you did my dear. *Sigh* and not even a kiss before taking it hard either.
2006-11-27 05:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he is taking advantage of you.It is not the point that he repays the loans.It is the point that he should not be asking you for the money in the first place.You are his girlfriend not his business partner.The only way to stop it now is to go to him tell him the way you feel.Stop loaning him the money.Just because he ask does not mean you have to choose to go along with it.The worst thing that can happen is that he breaks up with you.if that is the case.Then he is not the man you thought he was or the man for you.
2006-11-27 05:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by noga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You opened Pandora's box sweetie. You can always say no. I personally don't get why he needs it but pays you back so often. Does he have problems w/balancing or a budget? If I were you, I would stop w/the lending and go from there. If it changes your relationship (which it shouldn't) then it was a waste of time.
2006-11-27 05:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by Deana S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are right, but you didn't make any mistake, nor him, you two simply change a romantic relation to Business one, you need to wait, talk to him and see what he's doing, you can find out what to do .
2006-11-27 05:16:30 · answer #9 · answered by OMID T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stepped into this and now you have to get your self out. You do not say if the relationship is going well or not, I get the impression you are overwhelmed by the money part
2006-11-27 05:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋