How to move on when a Relationship ends??

Question

My boyfriend of 8 years decided that he was not in love with me anymore this weekend. I pack my daughter and myself up and moved out of our home into an apartment. I am devastated by this and dont know if I can go on. He s 33 and I am 32 years old and the thought of dating scares me to death!!! I keep questioning myself if I did the right thing or not. We have only fought 1 X in 8 years and then this happens the fight happen when we first got together. We were the perfect family and I dont know what to do!! Please help!!!!!!

Answer 1

Here is what I think:

He met someone else. Women are getting more and more forward nowadays and they want nothing more than what another women has. If the guy is married or in a steady relationship they move forward. If he has a great job they want him even more.
Now the good thing is this can not work if he is truly in LOVE with you and he is a one woman man. The lure is around every corner like the internet, dating sites, porn sites, work relationships and everywhere. It is hard to resist it all. But it is the reason why there is so much pain in relationships in this day and age.
My advice to you is move out and move on. He is not worth it. Chalk this one up to 8 years of learning and growth. You are too good for him. You did not have to do something wrong to lose him he was looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship.
I know you are not thinking clearly right now but the best thing for you to do is sit and think. Write a list of what you want for your future and then how it can be achieved, one step at a time. Do not go out looking to replace this man right away, when women do this they get into another bad relaionship that does not last.
Be content to just be you for a while. Do look and eventually you will just bump into the guy for you. Keep in mind 32 is not old your life is just beginning.

Everyone has the perfect soulmate out there. He will find your o you will find him when the time is right. It is written in the cards as part of Gods plan.
Dont dwell on this one mistake. Dont let it control your thoughts. Forgive him and let it go.

Now my best advice is this:
You are in this life to learn these commandments:
Love, faith, hope, understanding, tolerance, compassion, wisdom, courage, forgiveness, and patience.

There is a time for everything and everything in its time.

Next please read these books they are extremely important to your life right now and they can be found at Amazon or Half.com for low price used:

The luck factor by Dr. Richard Weisman
This book can help in relationships, your goal in life and how to get the best from life. This is one of the best books I have read.

Soul Signs by Rosemary Althea
A must for relationships, loves, family, friends. Tells how certain people match and why they dont and never will. You can learn so much here it is amazing. This is one of the best books I have read and it can help you a ton

Keep your chin up and move on. Dont try to evaluate this it was not meant to be. Your love is looking for you, be patient.

Answer 2

From personal experience the best way to move on is by having somebody else there to make you forget about your ex. I had been in pretty much the same situation you were, but I was married. I found somebody right away and it helped a lot, it was an easy transition, no pain! And also if you guys didn't fight but once in 8 years, I see that as a problem because it is healthy to fight once in a while, and when I say fight I mean verbal only. There is no way that in eight years there were no disagreements, maybe he got tired the redundancy of the relationship, you have add some spice, but not too much because that could get tiring too. Find yourself somebody else quick, even if it's a rebound guy, but at least it will get your mind off him.

Make sure your daughter does not meet anybody you may want to date until you know this guy will be there for a while.

Take care of your self and your daughter

Answer 3

Harlie if you have been with this man for eight years and he did not commit to the family by marrying you, he's not committed. If one fight (verbally, I hope) can separate you, that more than likely means someone is waiting in the wing and probably has been there all the time. As a woman, I can tell you that you are stronger than you believe right now. Take a deep breathe. Accept anything that you did wrong. Whatever else is left, let the blame fall where it may and move on. Your daughter and self should be your #1 priority don't worry about dating.

Answer 4

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry this happened. Especially around the holidays.

I know that it may be hard to see this now but moving out was the best thing to do unless you would be content with somebody who didn't love you. Personally..I would not be..I would not be content with somebody getting all the benefits of marriage but not making the commitment.

now I wasn't there and I don't know details and maybe he was just confused and will come around eventually...but if he decides he does love you...he needs to come to you and *if* you're still available you can discuss getting back together.

Unfortunately, he may have found somebody new and if that is the case. you want to know now and move on.

It sounds like you guys may be able to be friends in the future..but you need some time to heal beacuse you still love him.

But I personally think you made the best choice to move on. You don't want to teach your daughter that it's okay to be used. (And I'm only saying that if that is what is going on..if not, then scratch that) but you also wouldn't want your daughter to see you so unhhappy and I have been in this situation where I loved somebody and they didn't love me back. It is *not* a good situation and you will never feel good about it...it really does start to eat away at your self esteem.

Good luck.

Please take care of yourself and your daughter.

Please call your friends and family for support if you can! In a year this won't look so bad but right now it hurts!

Answer 5

Well, think about what you did during the entire relationship. If you don't have a single doubt in your mine that you didn't do anything wrong. Pick up the pieces of your life and star all over. Whatever you do don't try to beg or apologize for something that you didn't do. Wait a while before going into another relationship. Just be patience and ever thing will work out fine.

Answer 6

It sounds a little impetuous to pack up and leave after 8 years without even staying around to talk about it. What kind of message does that send to your daughter? Don't you think you owe it to her to stay and work it out instead of moving out on the spur of the moment because you don't like something he said? Do you understand the stress you have already put your daughter through?

Answer 7

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in a relationship we lose ourselves. Try not to date right now. Get some good books and escape. Journal. Try to get into see a therapist. Find a hobby. Exercise--it makes you feel better and look better and releases loads of tension.

I know this sounds nuts, and I hesitate to type this, but sometimes you'll get angry. I went away once with boxes of bottles and threw them. It was a grand mess but man did I feel better.

Answer 8

Ask yourself why you really seperated and if there's another change you can be a family again.

If that doesn't work then spend time with your daughter, go out with friends, watch movies or go shopping to make yourself feel better. But don't start dating until you feel ready.

Answer 9

It is still fresh give it time and yourself time ,it could be for the best take it a day at a time... be there for your child and even though it hurts you will survive.....

Answer 10

Just let yourself feel however it is that you want to feel. This is not your fault and you need to know that. Just give yourself as much time as you need to move on.