A year ago my son had to be punished because he joined bad crowds, was doing dangerous stuff. We grounded him for some months until we could trust him again. He changed completely, but got very resentful and humiliated, because he had apologized and promised to change and it took us months to trust him again. Today he's a great boy but avoids us, doesn't talk to us about his life, he just lives with us. We tried to tal with him a lot of times, explained we were afraid he'd do something dangerous, it was out of love. But he always says he can't get over , we should have belived him (although he had some chances to change his behavior without a punishment) and shouldn't wait for months before trusting him again. Today he's sure a great guy, but sems will never love us again. This year he got in the honor roll of his school and didn't tell us, I got to know from a teacher. We could have so many activities together, I could help him so much. But seems his resentment will last forever
2006-11-27 05:01:18 · 7 answers · asked by Ed 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Is it possible that his resentment carries on to adulthoood? Is it normal that a so resentful behavior lasts for so long?
2006-11-27 05:02:40 · update #1
You did what you were suppose to do as a parent, we have to look out for them, they don't see the danger out there, we love them and we will do ANYTHING to protected even when they get married and have children, that will never stop. Hes upset and its OK, just like someone said here, just let him know how much you love him, don't bring the past anymore, its done, gone, over with, move on. He will get over it, just have to build that bridge again, he loves you, never doubt it, never. Praise him for the getting into honors, let him know how proud he has made you. I would get him a little something. Don't think for a second that you are buying his love, a little something just to let him know that you love him and that you are so proud of being his mom.
I have 2 teenagers an 18 (in college now) and a 15 shes the tough one, but every day even if they don't want to hear my voice, i always say it out-loud..."I LOVE YOU"
love them no matter what and believe me...they will love you forever, that never dies, they get angry, they'll get over it....
God bless you :)
2006-11-27 06:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by ♥angltouch♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm a teenager. Around your sons age, maybe I can help.
I got into the same thing as your son. Have you ever seen the movie "Thirteen"?
Half of the stuff they did in that movie, I did.
You should watch the movie "Thirteen" it may show that your son still loves you, but is just in his own world.
Maybe you should sit him down, and appologize. Tell him you want to go do something, an activity. See what bands he likes and listen to their music.
Watch his favorite movies.
Have something in common with him and you'll be close again.
If you need any further help, I'm always here.
my email is silverwolf1561@yahoo.com
2006-11-27 06:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he needs some counseling, until now this gets out of hand. It additionally sounds such as you and your husband desire some "sensitivity" practise. the muse of all of this lies squarely at your door. Now, it's time to restoration the matters which you and your husband have began. Getting him the help he's so LOUDLY crying out for would be a large initiate in exhibiting which you a minimum of care what occurs to him! additionally, provide up favoring one over the different might help!
2016-12-10 17:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by gagliano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our oldest son also had to be disciplined often for his behavior as a teen. I've had him tell me that he hated me but loved his dad (boy, that hurts). Throughout his teen years he acted like he had no respect for me. He would say, "I'm never gonna treat my kids like you treat me. I'll let them do anything they want. Etc, etc." There were many times I truly believed that he hated me.
He is currently 20 years old, in the Army in Afghanistan and he called me today. He told me several times how much he loves me and that he had a great childhood. He told me he knew when he was a teenager that he had a great family and that we were good parents but that he was just too proud to tell us then.
Hang in there - love your son and do what you know is right. He really loves you and respects you for doing what's best for him. He may not let you know it for a long time, but don't give up on him.
2006-11-27 08:50:49 · answer #4 · answered by pswap57 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
these are the downsides of being a parent.
you have to bear the consequenses of resentment when doing what you think is right. he could be in his 30s before he gets over this. just keep expressing your love.
perhaps he will make you wait longer than you think is reasonable. just like you did to him.
2006-11-27 05:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
show him you trust him by letting him do things that he wants to do, but maybe aren't something you would normally let him do, like going to a party. make sure you know what he does there though, and tell him that you trust him, but if he screws up again WHICH YOU DON'T THINK HE'LL DO, then you will punish him again.
2006-11-27 05:12:27 · answer #6 · answered by resistance fighter1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To tel u d truth i tink its d way most teenagers act towards dar parents!!!!!He wil get over it eventually!!!!
2006-11-27 05:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋