My husband is addicted to porn, he denies, but we do not have an active sex life if he doesnt look at porn. I am very open with him sexually and try what I can. He says I am a prude and he has desires. I am sick for checking up on him.
2006-11-27 04:37:55 · 23 answers · asked by irene 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're just not fulfilling his fantasies, he's using porn to try to get his imaginations to come to life...............be grateful he's not running off to someone else who will. Porn is far better alternative than cheating or leaving all together. To be honest, porn is quite healthy for a relationship.
2006-11-27 04:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋
So far, do not listen to any of these answers. So have some good points though. Your husband is not necessarily a jerk he just made some bad choices. This might surprise you but pornography is the most addictive thing out there. If you are addicted to porn, it is harder to kick than any drug and should be treated like a drug. You husband has a serious problem. Psychology studies have been done and being addicted to porn can actually destroy parts of your brain (it is hard to explain, it has to do with brain chemicals). You should let your husband know that you think this is a problem and he NEEDS TO get professional help. I am going to college and majoring in psychology.
2006-11-27 12:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by agassi8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love some of these answers you have gotten, sweetie --- like "pray for him".... yeah, sure.
You need a little outline on addictions:
An addiction, any addiction, is one in which a persons will spend time do that rather than just about anything else.... drinking, gambling, computer porn, yadayada. What happens in addictions, is that the person is just not AVAILABLE.... they already have a relationship, and you just aren't it. There is no way even a drop dead gorgeous lady (like me) can compete with a 15 year old airbrushed body, that is non-threatening (i.e., not alive, and there!!!!) Addictions are not easily cured, if at all -- even an alcoholic will tell you he/she is still an alcoholic, just not presently drinking. So if you plan to stay in this relationship, it will always be there -- get used to it. If you leave, he'll hardly miss you--- you are already down pretty far on his list of priorities. Mine would practically fall out of his beach chair oogling 13 year old preprbescent girls, to the embarassment of all of us who were there.... my respect and admiration for him over the course of his involvement with porn just reached lower that a snake's belly in a wheel rut....
He got the: "If...Then" Untimatum...(If you do not get help to end this stupid waste of time of depriving us both of a good marriage, companionship, travel...yadayada.... Then, I cannot continue as it stands.") He couldn't, (He preferred 'fantasyland" (his term) and didn't, so I left, and like I said, he barely missed me, and I never looked back... wished I had left sooner.....
2006-11-27 13:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by ladyren 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a girlfriend I have who doesn't have this same problem with thier husband. My one friend's hubby destroyed thier computer from all the viruses he got downloading porn on the internet (kind of funny he would get a virus from porn)....Anyway it's a typical problem, guys are disgusting and he's not going to stop. Sounds like you do your best to please him and he sounds selfish, at this point all I can say is be glad he's not going to strip clubs at least. If you really want to piss him off when he's not around throw it all out and delete it all off the computer. It can be a very serious problem my one girfiends got divorced over it. All I can say is good luck, I'm so lucky I don't have to deal with that of course my fiance hasn't had a job in over a year but I think that's still better than dealing with what you are going through. Good luck, kick his ***!
2006-11-27 12:47:21 · answer #4 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man watching porn is normal. They all do it, it's just that a lot of men feel like they need to hide it from their partners. Really you should be happy he doesnt lie/hide it from you.
Don't check up on him if he is looking at porn or not - all that will do is make him lie to you about it.
On the other hand, if he wont have sex without the porn every time, that's not right. Have you considered councelling for this? When you have sex, his attention should be 100% on you, not the tv.
2006-11-27 12:44:06 · answer #5 · answered by Cori 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You had better turn into his porn star sexy vixen! Become his hor in the bedroom. Any man that has to be turned on by what he sees on a screen isn't really in tune with that he has in front of him. Try something different, something that you haven't done before and make him crazy, then hopefully he'll realize that he has a real life porn star at his disposal.
2006-11-27 12:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i used to be the same way but over time i got tired of it and threw out my dirty tapes, it does help to be open sexually for your husband but it should not go past what you are comfortable with, maybe suggest that you to make the porn tape and then watch it the next time you have sex, be careful tho this you may want to keep under your lock and key good luck...
2006-11-27 12:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that porn is a part of most mens lives. Ask him what else he would like for you to do with him. Maybe he has some fantasies that you can act out with him. Be willing to try some new things to get him more interested in you and not the porn.
2006-11-27 12:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
hi, don't feel bad about that' he looks porn as his catalyst mind you he is very active in sex if he has to see porn before making love with you - right? I share the same style of your husband whenever we make love with my wife I look porn first while she is in shower room and we have great sex then. Dont think that she doesnt like you anymore he is just more sex active if he look for porn prior sex.
2006-11-27 12:54:39 · answer #9 · answered by luckyman 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well Ive seen this in several different cases. You have to talk to your husband about this...If hes too big of a chicken to admit hes addicted...well then thats a whole nother issue in it self..I have been a Sociologist for 18 years now...and theres only 1 thing that can solve this problem....try new things....or honesty works too
2006-11-27 12:41:57 · answer #10 · answered by knightwolf665 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
drastic measure heres sweetie. Go out and get yourself a nice sexy outfit and come home and have your man sit on a chair a couch and let him know your the star of this porn your about to do for him and he canjoin in when your ready to.. get your camcorder out hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee we go
2006-11-28 01:07:02 · answer #11 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋