I really need some good feedback. I spent 2 years starving to get my business off the ground. I refused to give up and I worked my butt off with stress like a wall on my shoulders the entire time. No one from my family helped or supported me AT ALL. If I heard anything, it was, "You're never going to make it", "Maybe you need to find another career", etc. So the last year or so have been great. I went from starving to do really, really well. I still work my butt off but things are so much better. In the last 6 months, I have had people come out of the woodwork asking for help financially--always with some desperate story attached. I'm not a rock, I do feel for them. I did loan a bit in the beginning, but have found that they don't stop asking after that. I am not an ATM, did not win the lottery, and am sick of it. I have said things like, I'm sorry, I can't help you, but then I am evil. What a mess. Please help.
2006-11-27 04:27:57 · 9 answers · asked by donewiththismess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You did it so why can't they also try and improve their lot in live. Just because you have become more successful is not any reason for people to try and take advantage of you financially. With Christmas coming I imagine your going to hear all kinds of sob stories. How did they survive while you were working your **** off to get your business to where it is today? Be as honest with them as you can and let them know that your not a ATM and would appreciate if they all would cease asking you for help financially. Congratulations on your business becoming successful and all the hard work you have put into it. Bravo!!!
2006-11-27 04:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to sit down with your fiance and talk about this! You should explain that it would be hard for the both of you to start a family together (with or without a baby) when he is still supporting his mom. You guys live in another state, you have your own lives to worry about, so his mom should take care of her own family. $800 is a lot of money!! If he wants to keep sending his family money, it's fine, but I would say no more than $200 at most. You guys are about to start a new life and need to save all the money you can. And as far as his mom always bringing up the ex. just ignore it. She knows your better for her son and is just trying to get her son back, but that's not the way it works. Everyone is responsible for their own lives.
2016-03-28 21:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know that you have YOUR OWN BILLS to pay. You have worked really hard to get where you're at. It's nice to lend them some money (like you said you did)... but there comes a point where you have to stop thinking about other people. You have to think about yourself too.
I don't think you should let others take advantage of you. Tell them NO. If they stop talking to you after that, then that's THEIR problem... that's THEIR loss.
You're not evil for thinking about yourself for a change. Money is a big deal and it really does make the world go round. If you keep lending them money, they'll keep asking for more and more. If you stop, they'll stop asking.
Tell them what you have told us. They need to hear the truth.
2006-11-27 04:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend was going thru the same thing. He was the only one paying bills, when things were tore up he was the one people looked at to get them fixed. He didn't even live in the household anymore but they were constantly calling him for money. When he visited they would come around asking if he could pay this bill and that bill. Mind you these are grown people with live-in boyfriends and stuff. He started his own business and they were always saying he wasn't going to make it. But he did and he finally put his foot down thanks to me showing him what he refused to see.
You may need to move away from them or just distance the relationships you have with them until they see that you aren't going to support them anymore.
Good Luck!!!
2006-11-27 04:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is always hard to say no to someone, especially family. however, you need to remember that no one was there for you and if you had not 'meade' it financially there still would not have been there. you need to be tough and learn to say no. it is not being mean or heartless but being less of a doormat. i know that is harsh but it is reality. in my country there is a saying' if you have a jckas, ride it while you can. i don't think that you are one so don't let others take you for one.
congratulations on hard work paying off and enjoy the benefits of a job well done- don't let others enjoy it for you.
stand up for yourself and be proud of doing it. take a trip to a country or state you have never been to rather than the same old guilt trip!!!!!
2006-11-27 04:45:05 · answer #5 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've managed to stand strong to get your business off the ground- you can stand strong and face the moochers. Just tell them all your finances go through your accountant. If people treat you like their personal ATM, you're not obligated to remain in contact with them.
2006-11-27 04:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no reason for you to feel bad, tell them you had to work very hard and long for every cent you have, so now each and every cent is accounted for and there is nothing for you to give any one help. Where and how you spend you own money is no one business, and if they think less of you, it is only because they never thought of you at all before you MADE your money, return the favour
2006-11-27 04:46:50 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don'y Lend Them Money Because they Didnt Help you, so y should you be nice to them
2006-11-27 04:35:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
say no it is probably the best thing you can do for them :)
2006-11-27 04:33:40 · answer #9 · answered by notyochic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋