I fell in love with a guy in Africa 27 years ago and we wanted to get married then, but my parents refused.We parted ways,he got married and had kids and I did the same.My husband died and moved to the United States.I recently met with my old b/f who happened to be in the USA also.He is still married(though having problems).
He fell in love with me all over again,but I dont feel the same way anylonger(he actually disvirgined me years ago),he refused to accept we can no longer have a relationship,and says he cannot bear to do without me,he stucks me with unending phonecalls day and night,calls everybody I know to beg me...and so on.The truth is..I dont love him anymore and moreover,he is MARRIED.PLease help,what do you all advice.Thanks in advance.
2006-11-27 04:10:25 · 6 answers · asked by izuma4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow. Whatever you do, don't get involved with a married man. Especially a married man that you are not interested in. If you have an answering machine, save his messages and keep them. If the harrassment continues, tell him that you will be calling his wife with proof of his attempts at infidelity. You will probably never need the tape, but you will have your proof if you need to send it.
That threat should serve as a serious wakeup call.
2006-11-27 04:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
State it one more time, firmly, leaving him NO room for error. No "I think you're great but...", No "I really value our friendship...", nothing to give him hopes to hang out. Then distance yourself. I konw this sounds cruel as he was a terribly important person in your life, but without distancing yourself, he's going to continue to reach out to you again and again. Don't answer his calls, and tell your friends to do the same. Don't waver, because every time you do, he takes that as a sign that maybe he has a chance. This will be hard, but it's what you have to do if you really want him to realize that you two don't have a future together. If you're not able to do this, then take a step back and think about why - is there a part of you that still misses him? A part of you that misses being cared for by someone now that your husband has passed away? A part of you that worries you are going to hurt him too much? In the long run, you will probably hurt him (and his wife, indirectly) more by giving him a shred of hope that there's a future for you. So decide what you want, state it firmly, and let go. Good luck... tough situation you have yourself in here.
2006-11-27 12:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by redsoxbebe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that the past is just that the past. That you cannot in good faith have any type of relationship with him and that you would appreciate if he would cease contacting you and your friends. If it persists you can always have a restraining order placed against him contacting you. 27 years is a long time and I'm certain that you are both different people since then and let him know that also and that you cannot just turn back the clock and become who and what you were at that time in your life. Good luck to you.
2006-11-27 12:19:08 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only can you get a restraining order, there are stalking laws..Is he a stalker? Contact your local authorities to find out what type of stalking laws there are in your area. Once you know, and you finally tell your old flame off, let him know of your intentions re: restraining order and charge of stalking.
2006-11-27 12:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by champion of the underdog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him how you feel, plain and simple..then don't answer his calls and he'll eventually get tired and give up
2006-11-27 12:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by GucciRush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep ignoring him and if that doesn't work tell his wife
2006-11-27 12:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋