should I play nice or be a total *********???

Question

My man has been cheating on me. His new gf and I are going to confront him on Wed since he's been lying to us both. We have a 2-yr-old daughter together. We have a business together. I've wasted over 6 yrs of my life with this as$hole. Now that it's all over I'm wondering if you think I should play nice and let him keep the business and a new car and visit my baby or should I be a total b^tch and do everything I can to take everything from him and keep him from my baby. The only reason I even consider that is cause he has 2 other kids (w/ 2 other ladies) 1 he's never met and the other he rarely sees. I don't know if it would be best for our daughter for him to continue to see her because I know through the years he'll break promises to her since he does that to his other daughter. Should I even give him a chance? Should I take everything from him? We're common-law married so I have to divorce him. I'm going to consult with a lawyer to see what I can do legally be but should I be nice?

Answer 1

First, I'd like to start with acknowledging the fact that you have the right to be extremely hurt by this situation. It's very sad what you have endured. Please, think about you FIRST, not what you're going to do to him.

You will find that the more wrongs you don't make in this matter, the easier it will be for you to move on and be happy 'cause you'll have no regrets...no things you'll look back on and know you only did from anger. Please realize that being the bigger person will, in the end, provide you more sanity than not being that person. What happens with revenge is that it's never truly enough to make up for the pain you are feeling. You can do all kinds of crazy and hurtful things to him, but it's never going to add up to the pain he's caused. It's only going to end up hurting you more 'cause you're going to continuously be searching for bitchy things to do to him, which will ultimately make you look at yourself in disgust. Recognize that, take your pain, learn from it and move on will the least amount of drama as possible.

But, also realize that what you are feeling is completely normal. Don't feel bad that you want to be a *****. Don't bottle that anger up either. Have you seen that series "Snapped"!?!

Here's some knowledge for ya...if you act like a *****, all that's going to do for him is validate why he treated you like one in the first place. If you do that, he won't feel any shame for what he's done 'cause he'll just be like, "F_ck that ***** anyway!" What you can do that would really kill him is to literally kill him with kindness. Show him that he's hurt a nice person who's only tried to be good to him. Then, he'll sit back and be like, "Damn. I did her wrong, man!"...hopefully!

Also, your daughter deserves to know her father, regardless if you like him or not.

Answer 2

Do you sign legal documentation when youre a common law wife?I am in deed do some research on common law wives. If this man has cheated move on. Be the better person dont do anything out of spite karma will bite you hard.Please dont do anything stupid.You know he cheated I am sure he has done this before. This man has 3 kids one he hasnt seen,1he see when it convenient for him. Now do you really think he would care if you keep him from seeing her. Look what he has done to his other kids. You are the third woman that has had a child with this man. What good would it do to confront him with this other woman. You want to see which one he really loves. I have the answer neither. He is a cheater. You can always replace material things.(car) You cant replace a broken heart. it takes time to heal your wounds you wasted six year so did I. I have been where you are now. I left and didnt look back. We split up the things we needed in the house and I left. I couldnt allow him to hurt me. Once was enough. I heard all the lies that I could stand. I wasnt happy and it wasnt a healthy environment for my child. I didnt call he could have it all the business by try to hold on to the business is just a way of you not want to let go of him. I know right now your hurting.Think of your child and yourself is a business worth that much. Have self esteem is priceless.

Answer 3

Hi

I think you should split the assets 50%. But when it comes to the child I recommend to allow the father some visitation rights. If you use you baby as a weapon you will regret it 2 fold in the future. Have a real talk with him concerning everything and i recommend you staying calm as possible. You dont need to be nice but atleast think clearly about everything you do concerning this matter. I recommend you not being a total *********. because it will cloud your thinking. Also it will create a negative enviroment for your child as well. Remember to keep a child away from a parent because the other parent is mad is the worse thing you can do for your child. Dont be concern about the other kids he has. life goes on so go live it and be happy.

good luck

Answer 4

Oh hell no, you don't let him come out of shiat w/ anything. i'd go file a.s.a.p. Kind of sad that it was only a matter of time before he repeated the same bullshiat. He had not 1 not 2 but 3 chances to become a real man and do what was right and he effed all that up for some p*ssy that he couldn't even hit just once. he had to go and get a girlfriend. See my ex couldn't get laid like that either he had to eff some broad who wanted a boyfriend and in order to hit it he did it; became her dude. See guys don't even know how to play us right! I ended up telling him how he should have done things and he wouldn't have gotten caught. It has to happen once to fully understand however even if you did give him the opportunity to be apart of your daughters life is he gunna hold up to that. it hurt's even more getting crushed when plans are set. your going through something similar that his two other BM's went through. makes you wonder....
Be a BIAAATCH!

Answer 5

He is a big jerk! Take him for what you can. However when it comes to the daughter if he wants to visit let him. Don't ever give him the opportunity to tell your daughter it's your fault he didn't see you. He would have the court papers to back him up. As you said he doesn't bother with one of his other kids at all the other one rarely. So chance are he won't be visiting your daughter much either.

Answer 6

I would get some distance first then decide how to play it. See if he wants to see your daughter, and how much he wants it, then allow him to if you think it's good for her. I would try and be civil in the meantime, so you don't burn your bridges. Save being a ***** for later if he tries to stitch you up over the business and your home.
By the way, I've always understood it that you're either married or you're not - only married people need to get divorced.

Answer 7

get what you can finacially for you and the child. allow visitations for the child if he is a big of an *** as you say then as she gets older she will determin that on her own and not blame you for keeping him away from you.When he does let her down just give her that much more love and let her know that it isnt her fault that he is the way he is. Oh and by the way can you video his face when the 2 of you confront him it should be fun. maybe you should invite his other exs to and make it a party

Answer 8

Where it concerns the business and the car..take it from him. Where it concerns your daughter, never keep him from being a part of her life. If you keep her from him she will resent you. If he breaks promises and hurts her feelings over the years that is between them and she will eventually learn where her loyalties should be...she is entitled to her own opinions of both parents.

Answer 9

i don't understand your loved ones concern yet my ideas are that your mom is in all probability doing the final she would be in a position to. i'm a mom and that i'm getting disillusioned with my daughter (not yelling and hitting) if she brings abode a grade and that i understand she would be in a position to do greater advantageous. If a she tried as not undemanding as she could and have been given a "B" i could settle for it, yet while i understand she would be in a position to do greater advantageous i don't. I additionally decrease the quantity of time she would be in a position to play movies. If some toddlers spent as lots time reading as they do enjoying video games, that they had in all probability get greater advantageous grades. for the period of the faculty year I in basic terms enable video games on the weekend. Strict? perhaps yet she gets solid grades. As for because of the fact the garments and shoes, do you're making contributions something to the fee? Why do not you get a job and help pay on your Nike, Sony, and Adidas? mom delivers $50 for shoes, you get a job and upload $50 of your individual and you have a outstanding pair of boots. the subsequent time you bypass to a cafe ask you mom what your spending decrease is then examine the charges on the menu formerly ordering. in basic terms try listening to your mom and following her regulations. perhaps there could be no reason for you mom to "spazz"

Answer 10

well, you have all the right to be a ********* then. Take out everything. He deserves all the mifortunes in his life since he doesnt give a sh*t in taking care of his families and other daughters. Karma baby!