We were happy and excited to have a home when we bought our flat 3.5 years ago. But he is lazy, verbally abusive when angry and is poor at showing his feelings...we argue constantly and I have recently moved back to my parents. When we are good we are good together, but when we are fighting it's a nightmare and he never can take the blame...he gets agreesive with things in our home (holes in walls, holes in doors, broken chairs) whereas I get hysterical and start crying uncontrollably which seems to provoke him...he doesnt listen and he always says its everyone else's fault. Our flat which was once a nice place looks horrid, holes in our bedroom wall, holes in the doors, half decorated kitchen and he makes no effort to repair anything he makes excuses. He has no social life he is never out. He lets me drive around in a death trap and doesnt even care, he does things when it breaks down and he has too....but Ilove him and I miss him when I am not there..what shall I do? Please someone..
2006-11-27 03:29:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not going to change. If you stay with him the situation will degrade further to physical abuse. More than likely the present value of the home is less than the mortgage due to the damage he has inflicted. It is time to cut your losses, take some time to heal, and then open yourself up to meeting someone elso who care about you, is not abusive, and does not throw violent temper tantrums. My wife survived an abusive relationship that turned worse after she got married. Before it ended, her ex beat her up and tried to abort her pregnancy(my oldest son, by adoption) by punching her in the stomach. He treated the dog better.
2006-11-27 04:14:08 · answer #1 · answered by sloop_sailor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to tell you this but this is why you never get a house and mortgage before your married. It appears that this guy is just nuts and your better off losing him now before he starts turning you into those walls and doors etc. It's only time before he becomes physically abusive towards you. So stay at you parents put the flat on the market split the monies unless one of you put down a down-payment then it's only fair that person get their down-paayment back too. It's over and count your blessings you saw his true side before you got hitched. God Bless and Good Luck with everything trust me there are still alot of nice guys in this world you have just come across a prick.
2006-11-27 12:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, stop blaming him for everything bad in your life. You've made your own choices!!! He lets you drive around in a death trap? NOT, you make that choice! You made the choice to purchase a home with him, and you make the choice to stay in an abusive relationship and try to justify it by using the word "love". Ahhhhhhhh, this crap makes me crazy!!! Take responsibility for the choices you have made in your life. "But I love him and I miss him when I'm not there" OMG, give me a break! Again, you are making the choice for yourself! You enjoy the drama that he provides for you, you enjoy being able to tell people how terrible he is so that you may find sympathy. BARF!!!!!
It makes absolutely no difference what anyone here tells you! You will continue to drowned yourself in self-pity, all the while blaming him for your miserable life! Then, you will stay in a relationship with him anyway! BECAUSE?? That is what you do.......
2006-11-27 11:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like if you decide to stay with him for good, this is how your life is going to be for the rest of your life. If I were you, I would leave him, you do not need to deal with the pain everytime he screams and blames you for everything. Sounds like he needs to grow up and treat a women how they should be treated...with respect. Sell the house, take half and move on. You will be happier without him.
2006-11-27 11:44:02 · answer #4 · answered by ridingis4life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. You don't need this drama. If he is beating the home then he will soon be beating you. Break off the engagement and check with a lawyer on what to do about the home you bought together. But cut him loose PLEASE!
2006-11-27 11:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by bookworm1171 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now, he has shown his tru colors. If he is being verbally abusive, he will eventually became phiscally abusive. Good Luck
2006-11-27 11:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by caligurrl3634 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is violent and you should not go back to him. Leave him with the mortgage, Pawn the engagement ring and spend some time getting your life back.
2006-11-27 11:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by Danelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he is a disaster! You need to lose him and split the cost of the flat. He's breaking chairs now but what will be next? Harming you? That is not an option. Please lose the loser.
2006-11-27 11:32:32 · answer #8 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg i am young but like i have the same situation...... e mail me or im me... jessica91889@yahoo.com and hopefully you got im and we can talk that way! i came on here 2 look at situations and mine seems so bad now.. and idk what 2 do.. : (
2006-11-27 11:41:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋