Why is it so hard for men to tell the truth once they get caught cheating?

Question

I am married to this man that has cheated on me time and time again. Whenever I confront him on it he says that the person that told me was either trying to destroy our home or I just want him to cheat so I can leave him. Neither statement is true. I forgave him all those times but not this time he made it public and I just cant let this go again. He always begs to stay or promises to never do it again. He said that he doesnt have anywhere to go. I dont want to be married to him anymore. He says that I am kicking him when he is down. What he means by that is that he just recently lost his job. So I am being cold hearted. I just dont have it in me anymore to let this go. We also have a child.

Answer 1

Some men will never admit even when they are caught. You have been with this man long enough to know when he is lying. Men dont plan things out they just react and take that chance. Its not always the other womans fault if he is lying to you I am sure he is lying to her. I know you had to know that this man cheated before he even married you. Before you were married you over looked what he was going. Your husband had done this more than once but now only because he has been seen in public with a woman do you want to put him out ? Why now? He isnt going anywhere I can tell in your question that he isnt going anywhere. His man has disrespectful to you more than once. Sould it matter that he lost his job. It wouldnt to me. He has stepped all over your marriage your self esteem and your heart and soul. Now he wants you too help him. He cant move with the females he was./is seeing with no job. Thats why he hasnt tried to move. I bet if he had a job he would be threating to leave.

Answer 2

Here's some harsh advice.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
You have a child? Leave him for the child. You don't want your child growing up with your marriage as a model for their future relationships.
Why does he have a hard time admitting he cheated? Because admitting that means that he was in the wrong, so he can't spin it on you.
He's probably already told you a dozen excuses as to why he did it, and most of them are probably your "fault" in his logic.
No cheater wants to admit they are a scumbag, and that's the exact reason you need to leave him.
Why would you stay with a person when the trust is gone? That's not a healthy relationship, and if he can;t admit to his faults and mistakes, you will never work through the issues his actions have caused.
The relationship, in this case, is dead.
Don't beat the horse corpse. it's time to move on.
No, you're not cold hearted - you're being smart, and preserving yourself.
Sometimes you need to worry about yourself, not other people. He lost his job?
Tough luck. He just lost a wife, too.
Maybe having nothing will teach him to be grateful for what he might have in the future.

Answer 3

Kick him to the curb. Cheating once can sometimes be forgiven. But you've got a serial cheater on your hands, and there's no point in keeping him around to cause you more grief.

Why do men lie about cheating? For the same reason women do. It seems easier than facing the consequences of telling the truth. And if someone is doing that, if they're not willing to change and they're not willing to lose whatever it is in their relationship that still has some benefit for them... then they'll decide to lie about what they've done rather than take responsibility.

Anyone who goes down that road needs to confront the consequences of their own choices. And that's usually to end up alone, sooner or later. And maybe... maybe... at that point they face themselves and make some changes. But not usually.

Answer 4

Honey -- men do not only have problems telling the truch once they get caught cheating ... fact of the matter is a large percentage could not tell the truth about anything, even if it jumped up and bit them in the a**.

Answer 5

Some men don't admit to cheating, because they don't want to admit they were caught. Get rid of this guy, job or no job. Tell him to move in with some of the skanks he has been cheating with. Move on girl, there is someone/something much better out there for you and your child.

Answer 6

Probably for the same reason that women have trouble telling the truth when they are caught cheating, they have a character defect.

This is not a gender issue, but a character issue.

Answer 7

If you know for sure that youare done with him -be done with him! It's unfortunate that he feels you are kicking him when he was down, but he obviously has not been taking your feelings into account here! You should find a way to get him out of there and try and move on, as hard as that sounds! Hope this helps!

Answer 8

If you know in your heart that it is over then you must go, children will be hurt that I am afraid you cannot stop...but time is a healer and you seem sure that you need to go. I am afraid him being homeless is not your problem, as long as you and your child have a safe warm home you can begin to get on with your life. Your child needs some stability and more importantly you do to and you are not going to be able to move on with him dragging you down! I hope this helps...you need to do this for you!!

Answer 9

Please, it's time to leave.
Just think of the lesson you are teaching your child. You are teaching your child that it's ok for the husband to cheat. Do you want he/she to have the same relationship that you do?
He'll never tell the truth, even if he says it is. (It's in the "secret" guy's handbook - "Deny everything"). There's always something left out.

Answer 10

He cheats, lies, blames others and probably lost his job all for the same basic reasons...
He lacks moral fiber & character...
Divorce him and find a better MAN to marry & care for you..
Make better choices next time...
Charisma and looks are good primary reasons to select a boyfriend in high school....
Not a husband in adult life...