big deal or not?

Question

FIRST OF ALL ME AND MY BOYFRIEND OF 3 YRS ARE HAVING MAJOR PROBLEMS HE MIGHT BE LEAVING AFTER THE HOLIDAYS( THE REASON HES STAYING IS BECAUSE WE HAVE A BABY) HES SAID THAT MY JEALOUSY GOT IN THE WAY OF THE RELATIONSHIP, WE HAD FUTURE PLAN W/ EACHOTHER HE SAYS HE CANT SEE MY AS A WIFE ANYMORE, I FOUND THIS AS A WAKE UP CALL(YEA I KNOW BARELY) SO IM TRYING TO CHANGE HE SAYS IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE....NOW TO MY POINT LAST NIGHT I TRIED TO TALK TO HIM IN BED AND HE CALLED ME ANOTHER NAME WHICH IS ALSO HIS SISTERS NAME BUT ALSO 2 OTHER GIRLS THAT IVE DOUBTED BEFORE....MY HEART IS ALREADY BROKEN...IM STILL YOUNG I KNOW THAT LIFE WILL GO ON BUT I DO LOVE HIM SO CAN SOME ONE PLZ GIVE ME SOME ADVICE.. (NO MEAN COMMENTS PLZ)

Answer 1

I thnik we all have moments of jealousy but we have to learn how to deal with it and not push the other person away by not believing in them. But you have to learn to work things out in any relationship and if he is not willing than you are wasting your time trying. The main concern right now for both of you would have to be caring for your child together. If he cares at all and you are trying to change then in the end he will see that and you all will work things out.

Answer 2

you need to leave him. He's saying its your fault and using your doubts against you to control you. Having a baby w/ someone doesn't mean a thing. A baby who has 2 parents who are fighting is worse off than if that child had only one parent and was in a happy stable enviroment. 2 parents does not constitute a stable family. He doesn't want to stay and he doesn't want you to be happy. you need to do waht's best for you and your child and jsut leave and get on w/ your life. If he wants to see the child( he has a right to), that's perfectly ok, but you 2 need to sever the dating relationship that you have. You responsibility is to you and that baby,period. You say you love him, do you really love him, or do you just care about him a whole lot b/c he's the father of your child. what do you love about him? From waht you'resaying on here it doesn't sound like he loves you or even wants to be with you. I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm telling you how it is, and sometime the truth hurts.
You got the wrong wake up call. if he's saying the name of another girl, hello, he cheated on you. I'm going to repepat myself again. Leave him and take care of you and your baby. he's the father of your baby, not your father or your husband. your heart is more probably broken b/c of an ideal of what you thought you and him might be.

Answer 3

A couple of things...first, if he's saying he's leaving, then I believe that truly means he's out the door. On the other hand, you CAN get past jealousy. My hubby and I have been married for 4 years, and I used to be jealous. So tell your boyfriend, you CAN change. As far as the calling you another name, this is my advice. If it smells like a snake, and it looks like a snake, then it's a snake. So if he's been the kind to not come home after work, spend weekends away from you and your baby, and has been caught lying recently, then he's probably a snake. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like he isn't too interested in putting things back together and like he's already begun to move on. Jealousy is a definite relationship killer. There's nothing worse than coming home to a jealous nagging significant other. You have a baby together so that probably makes things harder for you but; you can't make him do anything. Sometimes it's just too late and the best you can do is move on, keep your head together, focus on being a good mother and don't forget to get your child support!

Answer 5

well i am sry to hear all that about you this time of year . word of advice,it sounds like it is not you he cant deal with anymore. if he truly loved you and wanted this relationship to work he would not have told you it was to late already. i think you just need to move on. i know it is hard when you have a child involved but you can't hold a relationship together based on a child,I've never seen those kind work, and i have seen a lot of my friends stay together for that reason.no one is ever happy. it sounds like to me that he has already moved on and you need to do so as well. like you said your young and life goes on. I've always said if it happens then it needed to and something new is on the horizon for me. good luck and i know you will be a better person in time because of this.

Answer 6

It sounds like emotionally he has checked out. You can either just go on without him or you can try to make it work. I don't like the odds of this one working since you haven't been together that long. Try to talk to him again and see what he thinks maybe about counseling. If he doesn't agree then I think you will have to go on without him. I know it will be hard but you can do it. You deserve someone that can call out your name in bed and not the name of another.

Answer 7

do you know the old saying - if you love it - set it free .......sounds like he has already made up his mind, dont fight it - jealousy ruins even the best relationships eventually - try to change - but not to keep him - do it for yourself and for your future...and make sure he takes complete responsibility for your baby....an innocent victim in this case, but better to raise it alone than in a bad relationship.. and just ignore the name he called out - that could have been done just to test your reaction....let it slide

Answer 8

I have had my heart broken a time or two. I am on my third marriage and my first two wives both cheated on me. It is very hard to get over it in the beginning, but it gets easier as each day passes. I know it is very hard on you right now, but it gets easier. Sounds as if he has made up his mind anyway.

Answer 9

it sounds like he has gotten involved with someone else. I can tell you from experience, it's best to cut your losses now, don't waste time mourning over him and get on with your life. the same thing happened to me, and I wasted way too much time trying to get someone back who didn't want me. if he truly loves you, he will come back to you.

Answer 10

if u still really love him then u have to do somethin bout it. he obsiouly doesnt love u bac and thts how hes trying to tellu. i think u should find another guy that way u can take your mind off of him and worry bout another guy =]