My friend just lately told me that she was gay and liked me, and wanted to know if I would go out with her. I prefer guys but I'm the first person she told. If I say no, will this upset her and make her go back in the closet? I don't want her to just give up because of me, but do you think that this might happen?
2006-11-27 02:27:59 · 13 answers · asked by Loopy Loo 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You need to be honest with her! Just tell her how you feel about the idea of going out or steady with one of your friends! Be tactful when explaining to her why it's different for you to give in to that lifestyle, but at the same time just let her know how thankful you are to have a friend that is honest and caring as she! She will understand. You just have to make sure to not lead her on or play around with her emotions. These individuals should be treated with respect and dignity as long as they are also doing the same with you! If she persists, you may need to have your boyfriend or someone else help intervene to help the situation, but I really don't see it coming to that. Just be yourself and honest! It's the best policy and your best card to play! Good luck!
2006-11-27 02:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by HotInTX 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend knows that you prefer guys, so I fail to see why she has put you in this predicament, not really fair is it, makes you wonder how close a friend she really is.
Can't see that she will go back into the closet, why would she, damn it's hard enough for some people to come out of it.
Good luck.
2006-11-27 10:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by Paulo.GZ. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best answer is the honest answer. Say that you are pleased that she is open about what she likes and you are flattered but that right now you are looking at the guys. Be nice and don't run off--ask if maybe you can spend some gal time shopping or a movie but just as friends and let her know that you will remain a friend.
2006-11-27 10:33:35 · answer #3 · answered by Orpah! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her your flattered, but your not gay. No she won't go "back into the closet" she can't change who she is. Tell her not to give up that the right person is out there for her and is waiting for her to take them in her arms and never let go... Good luck.
2006-11-27 10:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by lill_angel_07_88 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her you are flattered but not that way inclined and tell her not to worry because it will not change the way your friendship with her.
Guide her towards the internet maybe try gaydar.co.uk or com if in the US she will soon make good mates through that, you could even go with her on a night out and take in a GAY bar she will probably like that.
GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-27 10:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by The Exorcist 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe it will be a problem for her. Just, very nicely, tell her you are flattered but that you are straight. Tell her that you are still willing to be her friend. Her sexual orientation should not be a problem. She will still need your support and friendship. Every one is different; that is what makes life so exciting and challenging.
2006-11-27 10:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by Christine P 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My neighbor came out of the closet a couple years ago, and while I support his lifestyle, he knows there are boundries he just cannot cross or he'd catch a fist to the face. I'm sure you won't take it to that level, but just tell her you are flattered but women just aren't for you. If you are supportive, she might be hurt, but she'll understand.
2006-11-27 10:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by Low Key 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
your her friend so you need to be honest with her. she might be upset, but a her friend you can help her through this.
don't say yes just to make her feel better - you will end up resenting her
however ....you are considering it? so are there some feelings there?
2006-11-27 10:30:34 · answer #8 · answered by jessica 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just tell her that you do not have those type of fellings towards her. I do not think that she will give up, if you are gay you do not change your mind
Good Luck
2006-11-27 10:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by ollie91rocks 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
whoa! you know what you could just like playing around with her to be gay(don't let her know that u just playing). so just say oh maybe u could be like benefit friend.
2006-11-27 10:32:08 · answer #10 · answered by mexican temper 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋