I have been with my husband for 12 years. We have 4 children. I love him very much but the last couple of years I have noticed my sex drive decreasing rapidly. I had a tubal after the last baby and this seems to have made it even worse. I can go for days and sometimes a few weeks without any interest in sex. Help!!!!!
2006-11-27 02:12:48 · 12 answers · asked by puzzled 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been married for 14 years and also have 4 children. I could go for months without sex!
It is called EXHAUSTION! There are days when I think to myself, if he touches me I will scream, literally! After a day of "Mom, I'm hungry, Mom, take me to practice, Mom, he hit me, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!!!, I'm lucky to get a shower, let alone actually be in the mood for sex. Don't stress about it. There is nothing wrong with you, it is just a natural part of being a mom. It will get better, won't it??? No, it will. Just try to force yourself to do your wifely duty when you can, and eventually you will actually WANT to do it. I know that sounds awful, but it is just what happens in a marriage when there are children. You are only one person and you can only stretch so far. Don't allow yourself to feel guilty because you are human.
P.S. You may not want to tell your husband you are forcing yourself! lol
Good luck to you!
2006-11-27 02:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess this is what happens when you have a family but I do like that to hear that you do notice to change in you sex performance and you do care about it which I am sure it has brought up some problems with you and your husband. It is important to keep this alive and I have always thought once the sex has died then it is down hill from there but in your case in is different because you still love your husband it is just that you do not want it but with your husband he may see it in the wrong ways. Maybe try to do some counseling not to say there is anything wrong with you marriage but so he can understand what is going on with you and maybe some nights it is okay and would be nice if he just helled you all night instead of sex. Do some thing to help the pressure because you know us men do nothing for are selves
2006-11-27 11:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by isitreal1963 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. It can really put a strain on a marriage cant it!! I find this is so common in married with children woman. I know for me it helps to get away with my hubby for a night or two as often as pos. Leave the kids with someone you trust to manage them 100% so you dont have to think about them. And when I say alone. I mean alone. Not with friends or other family. We go up north where my father in law has a small cabin and some ponds in the middle of no where. Where we can just be alone and concentrate on each other. We even go out on a paddle boat and I read a mag. we both like and he fishes. We even take a blanket and some snacks and walk deeper into the lot and enjoy some wide open love!!!
2006-11-27 10:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean but this is a natural thing for women. I talked to my gyno about it and they said that was normal. I do have to warn you though that this was the reason my husband cheated on me. I have been married almost 11 years and he said he felt unloved by me since I had no interest in him sexually. Guys need sex and sometimes that can be the equivalent to love for them. I know it sounds silly but it is true in some cases. Try to pray about it. I would also suggest trying to set aside some time for the two of you just to be together to talk. Ask him about his hopes and dreams and where he sees you and him in the future. Maybe this will give you a little spark and make you want to be with him on a more intimate level. If you are just tired from all the work with the kids and house then ask him if he would be willing to assist you. Try to spend quality time with him and make sure he knows that you love him. Good luck and don't feel bad it happens to alot of us just don't sit around though and not try to do something about it. Don't make the same mistake I made.
2006-11-27 10:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to talk to your dr and get your hormones checked. Having your hormones messed up plus having 4 kids is enough to make anyone's sex drive low. Just make sure you let your husband know what's going on so he doesn't think you are just rejecting him and maybe even get him to go to the dr with you. Good luck!
2006-11-27 10:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to try new things or places. also there is now lubricating jelly that is enhanced i have been told this works. common after the knowledge if baby making is gone to loose a drive. do you orgasm? if not i recomend toys and practice alone. then slowly show him what works.
2006-11-27 10:20:50 · answer #6 · answered by ERIN 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to have years of ups and downs for sex stop worrying about it .let it be what it is .change is going to happen as it has
2006-11-27 11:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invest in porn.
Also tell your husband to initiate foreplay more often, that should get you going.
2006-11-27 10:14:36 · answer #8 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if hes not giving you sex then you need to get him horney enough to want to f*** you or make sweet love
2006-11-27 10:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by KKSLTER 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get some porno and get back in the saddle again!
2006-11-27 10:15:55 · answer #10 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋