please help , had a nightmare weekend .... my wife`s freind come round for a drink , but after to many they started to gang up on me ... so i said if you both feel that way get you cloths off and i will sort you both out ... any way to my amazement they both come back in sexy underwear .. so i did what any bloke would do . but this bit is the problem , 1/2 way through my wife walked out .. i did go after her and she said everything was ok so i went back to her freind any way after 20 mins my wife never come back and went to bed ..the next day my wife said she wants me out the house and im a pig . we are meeting tonight to talk ... who is right or wrong on this one , i thought she wanted this to happen ???? i would have not crossed the line but she forced this woman on me and watched her with me .. i am confused
2006-11-27 01:54:47 · 31 answers · asked by mrqprfc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you silly sausage! you failed the ultimate test!:-(
2006-11-27 02:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by ginger 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
OK, so this is any guys dream. You did the right thing...up until your wife got up. You should have stuck with her.
Anyways what is done is done, and unless you have a time machine you cant do anything about it. However you can mend for it.
Tell her that when you saw her come out with sexy underwear all you could think of was her. The entire event was for her, and when you saw the friend there, and both were "apparently" IN. You went ahead fearless, not knowing her attitude. If the girl is the friend, at least you didnt go satisfy your urge with another girl. If they are friends, they can trust eachother. Tell her " ______ I cant go back and not do it, believe me, if I could I would. What is done is done, but at the end of all this, if you ask me to do it again I will , and without a doubt, say no. Why? Cuz you are more important than all that, and if this is going to happen again, I rather say no. I'm a pig, I'm an asswhole, I'm everything you want, but I'm still here trying to mend things. I cant redo the past, but I can try for a better tomorrow"
Or just say "I'm just a guy!! And I wont do it again"
Either one is good.
Why do I know what you can say? That thing that happened to you, it happened on my B-day. I thought she was ok, but.. well.. same thing.
2006-11-27 02:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by JayMEX 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know you asked for a mans opinion but they can not give you a womans point of view so here i am. When your wife walked out it was probably because she came to her senses and couldnt stand seeing you with her friend. It was good that you went after her but what you did wrong was, you went back to finish off her friend! She is your wife and you should of stopped the whole thing in its tracks and stayed by her side. Most times in siturations like that, if a woman walks out and then says she's fine, Shes not. I dont belive that your wife "forced" you to have sex with her friend. Everyone involed in this, is wrong. Your wife and her friend are wrong for even getting drunk enough to suggest such a thing and you are wrong for not staying by your wife's side when you knew something was wrong. I suggest you talk calmly with your wife tonight and apologize for not seeing that it was bothering her and apologize a thousand times for leaving her to sit alone while you had sex with her friend.I also think you both could benefit from some therapy. People have stupid drunken moments but you both need to realize that the entire thing was a mistake and it will never happen again. I think your wife kicked you out and called you a pig because you chose her friend over her. Im sure she was thinking " how can he just go back to her, knowing that im upset" " omg, how stupid am i " etc etc....Just try to imagine how hurt you would feel if it was your wife and your best friend...while you just sat outside, alone and hurt?? Try to see it from her side as well. Good Luck and i hope you both can get past this.
2006-11-27 02:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by Danelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the exact same thing brother. Remind her that it was her not you that got the ball rolling on this one. If you want to work things out with her then neither one of you can ever hang out with this gal again. You will just be stirring the pot. Be appologetic and try to reassure her that you were both trying something new and that it obviously took a turn for the worse. Tell her that you dont think that you guys should ever try it again and then the ball is in her court. Good luck.
2006-11-27 02:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by teenypurplebinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you were wrong...
She shouldn't have started it if she wasn't gonna finish...
You should have walked out after her...
Just explain how you feel guilty and let her know her wrong doing also. Hopefully she will see the overall picture and get over it...
It takes LOADS of talking and the setting of ground rules before you have a threesome...
Threesomes can be great for a married couple but they MUST be approached on the right way.
2006-11-27 02:02:05 · answer #5 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your wife that the friend wasn't as good as her, but being a red blooded real man, you had to finish what you started.
Plus as the friend was a guest, you had to give the friend more attention.
But you didn't enjoy it.
And you were thinking of your wife all along.
Yes! Really!
And if the same happened again, you would go to bed.
Probably.
2006-11-27 10:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blow the mans answer - this is a womans answer.
Your wife prayed you wouldn't. I know it sounds crazy because of what she and her friend did. Your wife was testing you and you like some stupid idiot fell for it. Now she knows that you can be unfaithful. Now she knows that your love for her isn't unique. Now she knows she can't trust you. Now she knows that her darling husband WOULD have sex with another.
Boy are you in trouble. I just hope she forgives you and comes to her senses, drops her so-called 'friend' and puts this nasty saga behind her. After all, she did instigate it.
2006-12-01 00:03:18 · answer #7 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the wife's friend happy... it will give you somewhere to stay if the shite hits the fan and with her help you can kick your wife's ar se in court.
Try not to leave the family home, if you force her out (mentally) you also stand a much better chance in a courtroom.
As for whose right and wrong you had all been drinking and you did go after her... she had her chance to stop it all then and there.
Her friend sounds like more fun anyway!!!
Good luck son...
2006-11-27 02:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dude, when your wife left so should have you.
By the way why is it that women have to "test" men, and why in such a provocative and mentally cruel way. If you have issues would it not be better to chat about them rather than go through this emotional upset.
2006-11-28 11:02:27 · answer #9 · answered by dee k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she wanted it as much as you did but the drink made her very sexy and dangerouse in this situation my ex always used to tell me me she wanted all sortes of things but when the **** hit the fan i was in the wrong dont worry mate just talk and get your feeling out in the open whatever they might be at least you can enjoy them toghether goog luck my friend if you want to get you own back with 2 men give me a call i dont mind give a mate in disstress a hand agine good luck
2006-11-29 09:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me is it was a "test" as all the women here say - then it was her fault for testing your love. Why play the games???? If true love is there meet with her and talk - explain your situation and turly "listen" to her side. Marriage is NOT about games and tests - its avout compromise and communication - it is the real way things should work.
2006-11-27 02:49:54 · answer #11 · answered by into_thematrix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋