How do I get over the shame of pleasing my own body..?

Question

I am ashamed to please my own body... Is this normal and how do I get over it..? I would like to learn my spots so I can let my husband know the spots that please me but I feel dirty playing with my self how do I change this..?

Answer 1

No need to feel shame. If you are pleasing your body in private, no one will no other than you. So why feel shame?

Answer 2

Hmmm.....unless you were raised with that phallacy drummed into your head there isn't a thing wrong with alittle 'self-exploration'. Can't catch any diseases that way and it's also a no cost stress releive way to make yourself feel good.
As far as getting over this goes...you'll just have to believe that there isn't anything shameful or dirty about it. Of course this doesn't mean that if you're on the crosstown bus and the urge to masturbate strikes you that you should do so right then and there. That may be frowned upon. However in the privacy of your own home the sky is the limit. Have fun and enjoy. You'll be glad you did!

Answer 3

There is nothing to feel ashamed about at all. The shame comes from old traditions and out of date beliefs. It's your own body and you are not hurting anyone. Enabling your husband to please you better is important and can greatly improve your relationship. You need to know your own body - if you don't know it then how can anyone else know it properly? Who do you feel will be judging you and making you feel ashamed? The world has changed and people are more relaxed and open and it's not like you are living a century or so ago.

Answer 4

You have to explore your own body its very natural everyone does. Think about what would turn you on...maybe a movie or your husband and maybe it would be easier and more pleasing to you. Just let go and dont feel like you need to hold your self back, maybe you could take a bath with candles and scents and enjoy your body there is nothing wrong with that :)

Answer 5

It is normal to have uncomfortable feelings about it, especially if it interferes with developing or maintaining intimacy with a partner. However many feel comfortable about self-pleasuring and can talk openly about it. If you and your husband have not discovered your pleasure spots it is definitely past time to do this. To help you, consider that your goal is marital happiness and satisfaction in your intimate communication with your partner and this is not a selfish goal. By learning to be more relaxed and accepting of your sexuality you will find more pleasure in bonding with your mate. Another activity if you choose is to involve him in that exploration with you.

Your goal is very important for your well-being, so take action.

Answer 6

you shouldn't feel ashamed to please yourself. That would be the same as being ashamed for eating chocolate without sharing when there isn't anyone around to share with anyway.

being a woman is the best. you can help yourself and play as much as you want in the honey pot and ther is still some for him if he wants some too.

with a guy it's different. if I do it twice a day then I might be able to help her out if she wants some later (after a nap) would be best. but if I get carried away then there isn't any left for her. Then I would feel guilty, but only because I couldn't please her in that way. I still have a long tounge that she likes and that way she isn't too dissapointed.

Answer 7

You tell yourself that there is no one person that can do it like you. Only you know your body. Its impossible for your husband to know where your spots are, so it is easy for you to start. Do it infront of your husband, He'll get a kick out of it too, and you'll be making your husbands job easier. Not to mention, you wont get tired of waiting for him to find the spots, thus more pleasure for you

Answer 8

don't. why do you think it's a problem to touch yourself? hell, on the grand scheme of things, that's the most innocent thing in the world. even little kids do it. you should be very knowledgable about your own body. if not, how can you teach others how to please you? girlfriend, i don't know your background or even your way of life, but i believe that masturbation is a gift from GOD and if you want to then do. i do it 3-5 times a day. don't be ashamed. and enjoy!

Answer 9

Do you think you could try to please yourself in front of him? Maybe make it a game and tell him you want to see if this turns him on. What I have done is pretended that he isn't there but since I know that he is for some reason I don't feel so bad. See if this helps. My husband really seems to like this from time to time.

Answer 10

Don't be ashamed - and be honest with your husband, he'd probably love to know a better way to get you "there"...

If there was something my wife wanted done, I'd do it... However the last time I asked, she said "can you do the laundry?" :)

Be honest!!!!! And don't be ashamed...

P.S. Holly - that is a major turn on..

Answer 11

you need to undersatnd the following:
"If I do not know how to please myself, how will I able to please others or let others please me?"
once you understand this and that it is not only normal and natural to serve and care for yourself but will lead to a more fulfilling life in and out of your bedroom. self gratification can lead to more endorphines being released which in turn will give you more energy and make you feel better about yourself and your life.
you have to take the first step.
set a date for yourself (husband not included).
light candles, have some wine, watch a porno film, get excited and do what comes natural and find your spots.
once you do this - you will then know what feels good to you and then you can show your husband what you like and have him do it.