My wife's mother is pressuring her into getting a post nuptial aggreement (her father was killed in a car accident and she is getting a trust fund) and I don't want to sign it. My mother in law has even said that she won't speak to me and my wife is very sad and depressed. I have told my wife that although I feel sorry she is in a bad situation I am not going to sign this agreement - (whatever trustfund money she puts into our house she gets back) but I want our marriage based on trust not papers. I have told her and her mother I don't want her money - I married her because I loved her not her money and I even told my wife that I will sign divorce papers before I sign a post nuptial agreement. My wife said that it wouldn't matter who she was married to - it's nothing personal and it's not even the amount of money.. it's where it's coming from... that this is the last thing her father can give her... I guess my question is - am I wrong??
2006-11-27 01:43:14 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*** my wife lost her father when she was a teen - the courts awarded settlement before we were married - the reason this is an issue is because we eloped and now she is inheriting this this year. My MIL thinks we should get a post nuptial because we have had marital problems but we want to work them out.
2006-11-27 02:05:02 · update #1
Not at all... I like what you said about singing divorce papers before a post nuptial paper... Why does her moms opinion matter anyway...
(your wife is an adult and can make her own decisions)
2006-11-27 01:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your frustration, it seems like you feel upset that she wouldn't even think to ask you to sign this. Now on the other side of the coin I can understand where the mother in law is coming from. Everyone wants to think they have the perfect marriage and it will never end but the truth is divorce rates are very high. The mother in law is just trying to look out for her daughter and your wife is caught in the middle. I understand your frustration and hurt but could you sign the paper. If you are there because you love her then what would be the harm in signing the paper. If you don't care about the money then sign it and don't give your wife any doubts as to your love for her. If it were me I would wonder why you would have reacted the way you did saying that you would sign divorce papers first. I would start to think maybe you were there for the money because you selected such a harsh way to put it. You could check the laws in your state because some states will not award half of an inheritance to the spouse that didn't receive it. I know this to be true in Wisconsin because of the situation I am in. If that is the case then it wouldn't matter if you sign or not. I would suggest if you find this to be true in your state that you just sign the paper and it will keep the peace for all. Good luck.
2006-11-27 01:50:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, your mother-in-law needs to butt out of your marriage. You married her daughter, not her.
"for better or worse"
What if the situation were the opposite or worse? What if you came into money and your wife got ill at the same time? Would they be happy if you wanted a post nuptial that basically says that you don't have to share?
What do they think a marriage is? It's the good and the bad. Her tragedy of losing her father is yours, her windfall is yours. You don't just get the pain. She doesn't just get the joy.
Stick by your principles. Your principles are the ones that are behind real marriages. Trust is everything.
2006-11-27 01:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Post nuptial agreement must be voluntary and based on no quid pro quo. The situation you have outlined would make the agreement invalid from the start. He cannot make the agreement based upon your immigration to the USA You cannot agree to terms that a judge would find unfair such as you getting nothing even if you cause the breakup of the marriage - this invalidates the agreement. The legal term is unconscionable for an agreement which is illegal due to th unfairness towards one party. Now the real issue. You husband is a manipulating jackass. How dare he demand such a thing. this is abusive in the extreme. It is not "his wealth. As an attorney he understands all too clearly that it is currently joint wealth yours and his and that is what worries him. He does not care one iota for you and you had better come to understand this clearly and real fast. Do not sign away your rights. He is planning for the end of your marriage - you need to get your head out of the clouds and realize that this is not love but manipulation. You need your own lawyer and you need one badly.
2016-05-23 09:33:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IN my opinion I have to agree on the trust issue..Basing a marriage on trust, honesty, and open communication is much more than any amount of money.It looks like this is your mother-in-laws problem not your wife's. I feel your wife has made the decision to leave the nest to be your wife and now time to make her own decisions. Good luck and I hope it all works out. As the old adage states"Money the route of all evil."
2006-11-27 01:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by dreamgirl_deb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are still young so you don't understand the basics. Men are always wrong; just accept it and move on with your life. Whatever we do, think or say is always wrong. Sign the papers and blow it off as the more you argue about it and yaddah, the more of a problem it will be. Show that you are big and can rise above anything. I have also found that this confuses women when you do something they don't expect; it makes them wonder what you are up to. You can't win so play by your rules instead of theirs. Good luck.
2006-11-27 02:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either one of you is "wrong" you're just not considering the other's feelings. Marriage is about compromise and bending when you can't come eye to eye. If you aren't willing to sign a paper for her, then you are in your own way telling her that her feelings don't matter- just as she is doing to you when she requests you sign the paper. I think the two of you need to go to some marriage counseling-leave the mother in law at home- and sort this out WITHOUT the extra mouth telling you what to do.
2006-11-27 01:48:43 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself, you love her, you don't care about the money, and that it's all about trust. End the misery for her and her mother and sign the papers.
Honestly, what's the big deal? If you don't think you'll ever end up divorced, then it's a non-issue, isn't it? Just specify the trust fund money and nothing else. Your mother-in-laws happy, your wife's happy, and you'll be happier because no one is causing you problems or giving you grief anymore.
2006-11-27 01:47:51 · answer #8 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see why you don't want to sign any papers, what if you were to suggest putting the trust fund into kids names for the kids (if there are any), if not if you say you love your wife and don't want her money what harm is there in signing the paper????
2006-11-27 01:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by HappyGoLucky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm, your wife is asking the same question on here dude. Sorry but I think you ought to just sign the papers and let the money be released to her solely. If she chooses to share it with you then so be it but that money is hers and your unwillingness to sign the papers and willingness to sign divorce papers makes you look greedy.
2006-11-27 06:33:18 · answer #10 · answered by PisceKween 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋