At eighteen the decison wherether to have an abortion or to keep the baby?

Question

To start off I am 18 yrs of age, fresh out of highschool and want a career in cosmotelogy, my boyfriend of two yrs is 20 yrs of age and works at a heavy equipment rental yard as a mechanic. so the obvious were not stable to have a child, but is anyone ever ready, well of course if its planned! now it all come down to the fact of abortion or to keep the child. I am very against abortions for myself, i dont wanna live my life "what if", and to be honest I actually want to keep to baby and i dont know how to tell my boyfriend, because i know he dosent want to. but on the other hand I know I am not ready to raise a child and my boyfriend wants me to get a abortion. i need some different views on my situation

Answer 1

I got pregnant at 17 and my boyfriend was 19. I thought he would leave or that we wouldn't be able to do it. Well..... here is now... I am 25 he is almost 28. We have 3 beautiful children ages 7, 4,1 and we have a new one on the way. We have been married for 8 years. He only made 8 dollars an hour when we got married and I couldn't work because I was still in school. Bottom line.... If you want to keep your baby you will figure out how. And if you guys wanna make a family you will. Don't do anything YOU don't want to do. I cant imagine my life without my children. Good luck and congrats

Answer 2

Don't listen to this nonsense. Having an abortion will NOT make you unable to conceive again. Only you know if you are ready to have a child. If you are only 18 you have probably not finished school and you have your whole life ahead of you. The chances that you and your boyfriend will stay together for the rest of your lives is pretty slim at the age of 18, and the fact is that less than 50% of absent fathers pay child support. You may want to meet with a counselor who will help you make the best decision. Good luck!

Answer 3

Boyfriends come and go--they're like the ocean tide. Your baby, however, is part of you genetically, and you will have your child forever. (Even when they grow up and start families of their own, they're still "your baby.") Sounds to me like you know what you need to do, but you don't want to upset your boyfriend. Why so much skepticism and worry for your boyfriend? It's not like you're married to him. What if you go against your better judgment and end up having an abortion, then a month or two later, someone prettier or younger comes along and catches his eye and he drops you like a hot potato? Then you're SOL all the way around--no boyfriend and no baby.

If this was your HUSBAND who was upset about it and wanted you to abort the baby, it'd be a different situation completely. First of all, I'd wonder why a married man would want his wife to abort their child--I'd be wondering if maybe it wasn't such a happy marriage, first of all, then I'd question his motives. Anyway, this is your BOYFRIEND--a man you're DATING.

Is he truly concerned that you won't be able to make something of your lives and support a family financially, or is he just being selfish and thinking that once a baby comes along, he'll be put on the back burner and "ignored" because the baby will be getting most of your attention? Thinking that your sex life will go to hell, nothing will be the same anymore, etc? I've known plenty of 20 year old guys, and I've yet to meet one of them who was worried about the future and finances. Most of them have one thing on their mind (well, two, if you include beer, lol) and honey, it ain't money.

I'd tell this bf of yours that after some long, hard soul searching, you've decided to keep this baby, and if he flys off the handle and leaves you and says you're ruining his life, would you really want to be with someone like that for the rest of your life anyway? Me thinks not.

Good luck to you with whatever you decide.

Answer 4

If you want the baby then don't let anyone talk you out of it. You will regret not listening to yourself.
Life will be easier without a child but can you live with that decision.
Have you thought about adoption. (some open adoptions would allow you to stay in touch with the baby)
Your boyfriend would be obliged to pay support. (legally) if you kept it.
At this point you have to decide what you want to do and what you could live with.
Do not listen to people who tell you abortion is the easy answer. There is no easy answer in this. (And the effects of an abortion on someone who doesn't want one can last a long long time)

Answer 5

Abortion is not just a spur of the moment deal - it could cost you emotional pain for the rest of your life. Something to think about. Cosmetology takes 9 months to a year - by that time you'll be close to getting your 1500 hours completed. Basically, if you are responsible enough to have unprotected sex, you should be responsible enough to have this child. Ask for help from family, give the baby to a family member or even consider adoption. There are many choices for your unborn child besides abortion.

However, if you do go ahead with the abortion, please, please rethink having unprotected sex with the boyfriend who is so easy to say get an abortion.

Answer 6

If you weren't ready to raise a kid then you probably should have been more careful... You have to think about the life that is living inside you right now.. If you really don't think you're ready, which I respect than give the baby up for adoption.. There are people out there that are ready, but have a hard time conceiving, and they would give your baby a loving home!! Good luck to you

Answer 7

If you truly want to keep the baby and you are willing to risk the relationship with your boyfriend then I would say keep it! That is your child, and you have every God given right to raise it. Given your situation, I would encourage you to look into an open adoption. The birth parents will be apart of your entire pregnancy and you will get to see what a miracle you are giving to two people who can't have children themselves.

My best friend participated in an open adoption, and she could never be happier. She is sad that she had to give up her baby, but to be able to see pictures of her and talk with the parents is such a blessing.

Answer 8

Let me tell you i feel like i am reading my life story.....i was in the same situation and my only advice to you is to follow your heart.....if you get an abortion you will regret it.....you both decided to have sex and you both had to think that one day this might happen....talk to your family and talk about all your options....keeping the baby, adoption, abortion. If you do get an abortion you will think what if for the rest of your life.....and its sadd it is a painfull and sad experience and it will be something that you regret....well that is how i feel....i was 19 and in cosmetology school and me and my boyfriend lived together i was not working only going to school he was working 2 jobs and we were barley surviving when it was just the 2 of us.....i felt like iw as ruched into the desion and i regret it everyday, every min., allt he time.

Answer 9

is adoption an alternative? having a kid is a big responsibility and a life altering event to say the least. you should weigh all options and use abortion as the last alternative. i'm not a pro-lifer but personally against abortion. however, i also understand the realities of life where if the parent is not capable of "properly" raising a child then he/she should not have it either. it's sometimes more heartbreaking to see messed up kids b/c of parents who were unfit to be one.

you can also consult with a planned parenthood adviser for further help. good luck

Answer 10

I had two children that I placed for adoption. I could never even think of abortion for myself. I gave my babies up to families that really wanted them and could raise them. After they turned 18... I began a search for my kids. I was blessed and found them both today I have a wonderful relationship with my son and his family and two beautiful grand daughters. Tho I don't hear from my daughter at least I know in my heart she turned into a lovely woman. And is happy. All I really wanted was to let them know I did not give them up because they were not loved but because I had no greater love than to be selfless and do what was best.