bottle feeding why do people make you feel bad?

Question

my baby was ill and small and wasn't strong enough to stinulate the milk but people still make me feel bad why do some people get on there high horse and look down there noses??

Answer 1

Don't you dare let people put you down!

There is no right or wrong way to do things......that's why we have options love! I did not breast feed my baby purely because I didn't feel comfortable doing so and felt I'd be restricted going out and stuff, I bottle fed her. Some people did have something to say about this (midwives etc) but it's your choice, there wouldn't be baby formula if it wasn't safe and just as nutritious..........

Don't let other people influence you Hun, do whats best for you and you baby, that's all that matters!

Answer 2

Do you mean people out in public (when you take your baby to the mall, for example)? If so, stop paying attention to them. When I took my boys out when they were infants, I gave them their bottle of formula and stared very intently at them and focused only on them while I was feeding them. Who cares what people around you think? It's not their baby. Some people just don't know that sometimes, breastfeeding is NOT an option. I think some (but certainly not all) women just assume that formula feeders are lazy, selfish, and don't even try to breastfeed. Obviously this isn't the case in many situations, but for some reason these women automatically assume that we didn't even try. Why are they like this? Don't know. If you really dig down deep into this and start researching, their superiority over breastfeeding probably goes back to some type of self-esteem issues, not being hugged enough as a child, etc. This irrational way of thinking definitely is NOT normal, and something has to have caused it. The point is, who cares? You shouldn't care what they think about how you feed your baby--you should focus your efforts and attention on your child. :) Congrats on your little one!

Answer 3

People criticize because it makes *them* feel better. No one is the perfect mother, no one has all the answers. Everyone makes mistakes (or what they think are mistakes) at some point, and they console themselves by pointing out what they did "better" than everyone else, whether it's breastfeeding, staying home with the baby, baby sign language, etc. It's a defense mechanism, but a cruel one. I do it to MYSELF (ie...I think, "Well, I don't put her in day care, so that will make up for not exclusively breastfeeding", others feel better doing it to OTHER people. Hell, I've gotten the dirty looks AND comments for bottle-feeding AND public breastfeeding. You're screwed either way.
When people don't mind their own business, and press for an answer, tell them exactly what you told us, "My baby was too ill to breastfeed, and her doctor and I decided that it was best to bottlefeed her instead of starving her to death. Don't you agree it's better to have a bottle-fed baby than a dead one?" See if they argue against that.

Answer 4

Just ignore it. I too wasn't able to breastfeed my kids for various reasons. I would have loved to, but that just wasn't happening. There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding and you can still have that bond with the baby. Just hold the baby close, like you are breastfeeding and they can get that same closeness and comfort. Try not to let other ppls opinion make you feel bad. You can still be just as good a mother by bottle feeding as with breastfeeding. Good luck!!!

Answer 5

wow i'm so sorry you're dealing with this! first of all you're an impressive mom! save putting your infant on your breast. in case you do no longer proceed to stimulate you will no longer produce something in any respect. 2d talk on your community wic place of work they are able to get you a breast Pumpp so which you will stimulate your self with the pum, or maybe though you get you are able to feed the baby so because it particularly is an advantage!! in the event that they cant help you talk on your medical doctors they are able to jot down you a prescription for a breast pump and your coverage will maximum in all hazard conceal the acquisition. If neither of those 2 issues help consistent with hazard your lactation representative would have the potential to discover a pump for you even though it is going to enhance furnish. I commend you on your efforts. Breastfeeding is so valuable and there are human beings obtainable that isn't even provide it a try. solid job!!!! whether there's a difficulty and you should use formulation a minimum of you realize you tried each and every thing achieveable!!! you're an impressive mom!!!!

Answer 6

Because people like to force their believes on others in order to feel better about themselves. Yes, breast milk has benefits but if there are reasons why you can't or don't want to breast feed then it's your choice and nobody should make you feel bad about it.

I am 32 weeks pregnant and am hoping I will be able to breast feed because I know I would get nothing but grief from people if I didn't do it. Just do your own thing. I'm sure your baby will be as healthy as any other.

Answer 7

I believe that most of the people who have the audacity to scold you for bottle-feeding your baby fall into one of two categories. Either:

1. They breastfed with ease and mistakenly believe that everyone can do it...

or

2. They actually have never had a child themselves and so don't have any idea of the struggles involved in breastfeeding.

I mean, when you have MEN questioning your choices as a mother - and yes, it's happened! - then you can be sure the people who come up to you are completely ignorant of the situation.

One reason people feel bold enough to approach you is because of that annoying slogan, "Breast is Best!" Ok, La Leche League and FDA, we get it! We understand breastmilk is the best option.

How about a slogan that addresses the mothers who tried for weeks... who worked with a lactation coach... who did everything "right"... yet still couldn't breastfeed? Are we supposed to endanger our baby's health and watch as they lose weight because YOU insist on "nothing but breastmilk?"

As for the people who disagree with you, there's not much you can say without appearing like a clod, too. The best way to shut them down is to smile insincerely, say "Thanks so much," and promptly ignore them.

Answer 8

You may get people looking at you strangely for bottle feeding your newborn, but if you continue breastfeeding your 'older' baby (and by this I mean over 6mths) you get LOTS of bad looks too. If you'd ever tried nursing in public, you would have seen that it's NOT ACCEPTED. Either way, whether you nurse or you breastfeed, you'll find there are people who think it's their place to tell you what they think. We just have to ignore them!!

[ADD ON] From comment above: I did not breast feed my baby purely because I didn't feel comfortable doing so and felt I'd be restricted going out and stuff, I bottle fed her. Some people did have something to say about this (midwives etc) but it's your choice, there wouldn't be baby formula if it wasn't safe and just as nutritious..........

This is the very reason I think people who are pro-breastfeeding get upset at those who give formula. As you can see, there is nothing medical in her reason for not breastfeeding, it's just a choice. And if she was educated about formula she would know it is not at all a 'good choice', it is very far from being nutritious like breastmilk is!! It is simply the ONLY choice for those who are unable (or in today's society, who dont want to) breastfeed. I'm sorry that this comes across negatively at times, I've never said a single word to anyone about them needing to breastfeed their baby, or given a bad look at someone giving a bottle, I just would never do that. I know it isnt my place. Just like it's not my place to go up to someone smoking near their child... it's hard to see as we all KNOW the consequences of second hand smoke now (or at least we should). But some parents dont care about that, they want their cigarrettes and they're going to keep smoking. I digress, I dont mean to get off subject here, but you want to know why people 'look down their noses'. It's a failed attempt at trying to educate others as to the danger of giving formula. I stick to what I said above, you do just have to ignore them and try to do the best for your child.

Answer 9

I know it has been a long time ago for my son but I remember it when I was ready your article I am not to sure why it is maybe because some people like to be old fashion or they think they know everything and think it is so much better to breast feed well if you do not have the time to do that or it is working for you then it is up to you and screw those other people it is your child and you do what is right for you. This will not be the last time you here people taking about you.

Answer 10

Some people just like to try and take what they regard as "the moral highground,"as it makes them feel better about themselves. I think at the root of this is low self esteem. So by adopting a position of "moral superiority" they can look down their noses at others of a lesser moral calibre !! You find them everywhere sadly.
Don't let them bother you, do what it right for you and your baby. I remember well how they would look down their noses at me but I've raised 5 kids and bottle fed them all and they're all strapping lads now.