is he trying to get at me? how do i handle it? what is my new partner thinking? he says its wrong, the kids then get cross with me, not their dad and my partner doesnt like this.
2006-11-27 01:10:29 · 16 answers · asked by apple 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your kids will see in time what an idiot their father is being. dont curse him infront of the kids, rant to a friend, dont give your ex the attention he's craving by bringing up this matter, ignore it and be strong for your children. your new partner will have his own feelings about this matter, if he wishes to talk about it then get it out in the open, but avoid talking about this with the kids.
2006-11-27 01:16:37 · answer #1 · answered by louise 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you allow him to call at all in the first place. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is NOT to call your house because he is an active alcoholic and until he gets some sort of help for his problem, you will have no part is enabling him or allowing your children to enable his behaviour.
If he persists, change your number and get a restraining order. He has no right to disrupt your household with his selfish and drunken behaviour.
I would even go one step further and let him know that if he keeps it up you will take him back into court to have his parental rights/access changed because he has a drinking problem and he is being abusive by phoning and harrassing you and the children.
Your partner is right. Your Ex is all wrong in this situation. Your partner will be supportive, surely, once he sees that you are not going to allow it to continue. I'm sure he's thinking "Geez, I didn't sign on for this!" And having a plan in place that if X happens you will do Y will show everyone that you are prepared to deal with this problem and that you are being proactive.
Your Ex does it at this point because he can. Everyone right now is giving a lonely, bored drunk a forum to vent. Stop allowing him to do it and it will stop.
Best of luck to ya!
2006-11-27 09:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by snippers72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about what your partner is thinking as he should know that its not your fault that your ex is phoning up drunk! It is not fair on your children and you need to tell him to stop. They'll never forget being stuck in the middle like this, trust me. If it is you he is trying to get at then you need to have it out with him.
2006-11-27 10:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your kids old enough for you to explain that their dad is drunk when he calls? You have the right to change your number...Of course your new partner doesn't like it, would you?
2006-11-27 09:18:25 · answer #4 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how come he only phones when he is drunk? sounds like he is trying to get to you and using the kids as a way to do this, if your partner loves you he will stand by you through everything
2006-11-27 09:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by emmamac14 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your phone number and inform him that his kids will call HIM each day, and if he's intoxicated, he'll have to wait until the next day's phone call. Hopefully, this might be a big motivator for him to reduce or stop his drinking altogether. If not, we know were his priorities are.
2006-11-27 09:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to your ex. If you are the person that has custody over your children you are entitled to tell him to call before a certain time. If you still have problems you need to take this up with a solicitor, its not fair for him to do this to you...its mental torture....and yes.....he IS doing it to get to you.
2006-11-27 09:16:01 · answer #7 · answered by stars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make rules. He probably feels guilt when he is drunk. He has to ring sober or no contact, harsh but it's the right thing to do...
2006-11-27 09:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by minitheminx65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How easy to talk to, sensible and rational is your ex when sober? That's when you need to speak with him and explain that what he is doing is upsetting people. Hopefully he will see sense and stop doing this - or you may need to consider changing phone numbers!
2006-11-27 09:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by big pup in a small bath 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont say how old the kids are. if you answer the phone and he is drunk dont pass the phone on to them . get caller display and dont answer the phone when his number shows,
2006-11-27 11:13:37 · answer #10 · answered by tjtwix1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋