My computer was on the blink and he let me use his. I deleted some clip art and send them to the recycle bin then clicked on the recycle bin to delete them. I saw where he had some files too that hadn't been deleted and out of curiousity I opened them. They were of gay men sexual activity. I found out this came from a disk. I about puked when I saw this. I never mentioned it to him and I won't but I've been avoiding him. I don't know what to think! I know I shouldn't of viewed them but I did and cannot go back and change that fact that I did. When we were married, he never showed any signs about this and that was not the reason for our divorce. What would you do?
2006-11-27 00:35:15 · 25 answers · asked by blue_persuasion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I totally understand how you feel. My ex gave me his computer (not expecting me to accept) and I hooked it up and found out that he and his girlfriend were swingers! There were all kinds of pictures of them doing it.. NASTY! I thought I knew him.
I brought it up and he acted like it was nothing, just mad that I kept the computer. If I were you, I would want to know if he was sleeping with men when you were married. You don't have to show how shocked you are, ask him.
2006-11-27 00:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be thankful you're friends after a divorce and leave it at that.
Other users mentioned possible reasons why he had them or deleted them, but maybe he was mad at you, was going to give them to you out of frustration and vengeance, then thought better of it and deleted them.
Someone else could have given him a disk and he copied everything on it, then saw the pictures and maybe he's now wondering about the person who gave him the disk and is asking himself the same questions about the other person... And of course deleted them.
Like I said, count your lucky stars you're still friends after a divorce and leave it at that!
Congratulations by the way! (For still being able to be friends!!)
Good luck!
2006-11-27 08:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if they were in the recycle bin, perhaps someone sent them to him as a joke, and that's why he deleted them. It doesn't mean he is gay, the internet is a crazy place, and files can be sent to anyone...Like I said, it was probably just a joke. Maybe he's uncomfortable with it, so therefore someone would think it's funny to see him squarm if he saw the files, I wouldn't worry about it.
2006-11-27 08:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by Becca P 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all congrats on staying friends with the ex- second of all why where you snooping in his computer? That is a breach of trust with friends to me- thirdly, you found some porn- well did ya think he was celibate? Maybe he is BI sexual- guys can be this way so can women.
I would keep this to myself, cause if you do say anything, he will be angry for your snooping and wont trust you anymore- is this friendship worth saving>? answer that question, you will have the answer to the other one.
2006-11-27 08:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by flyingdove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be gay or BI, but so what, you aren't married to him any more, if you are friends you should be able to support his "new life" just as he would have to show support if you got a new b/f. Men are very visual, so sometimes they like to just watch, OK it wasn't appealing to you, but it was his private stuff and you have to respect that he may be trying to figure out his sexuality.
2006-11-27 08:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave it alone and not snoop anymore.....Why would you avoid him....you don't really know why that was there...could be several reasons and doesn't mean that he is gay.....but if he is exploring that possibility then let him be...if you care about this man then be an adult and don't judge him....perhaps he will talk to you about this at some point ....be prepared for that possibility and be loving and supportive.....
2006-11-27 08:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it may be, you just need to forget you ever saw them. You are no longer married and what he views on his computer is none of your business and you shouldn't have been snooping. If you are truly friends with him, treat it like you would any other friend.
2006-11-27 08:40:18 · answer #7 · answered by jadedgirl149 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it may have been the reason for your divorce without you knowing it, he may be on the down low there is a lot of that going around or he could just be a pervert that likes gay porn
2006-11-27 08:45:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were right by thinking about not opening his private files, but hey you did, and now, well you can only just imagine, it could be a fetish, it could be a desire, it could be an obsession, you could try to ask him now that you are not together anymore.
2006-11-27 08:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by atantatlantis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont say nothing if u want to remain friends then dont say anything it could compromise the friendship u have know
2006-11-27 08:51:26 · answer #10 · answered by sammlwrd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋