I am into an abusive marriage...is there any chance that things will get better or I go for divorce?

Question

DoB- 6/11/76
ToD- 01:40 AM
PoB- Ganganagar(India)
Thanks and Best wishes to those who answer.

Priek...I have tried my best ..given chances...talked to his parents...his mother said that he gets angry for the right thing...and I must have done something to deserve it...although the first time I got slapped was because I said "you have finished my social life" and my parents are very supportive and am with them from last 2.5 months....But I was wondering like if you have a brother or a father or any relative in your family who is has any psycho problems we don't leave them and we try to help them....
thats why I wished to know if I should take another chance....
as he was very caring too at times and in six months he never had a meal without me...even he fasted when I did so.....he was very caring too...
I really get confused at times...
at times he was exteremely caring and loving and during these two arguments he was a complete dragon..

Answer 1

Be strong and get out right away--but make sure you can do it safely and that he can't follow you. Best to lose yourself in another place and, if he's really crazy, change your name as well. Install security wherever you go and always, always leave at the first sign of abuse. It is NOT you and you DO deserve better; keep telling yourself both of those things rather than "it will get better" or "I really love him" or "he's trying"--those are all self-deluding signs that land women in hospitals & morgues. It will tkae time to get adjusted; you may need to get a guard dog/gun license (and practice on a range so you get really good!). Just remember, any man who derives his power and sense of self-worth through abuse (esp. of people he supposedly loves) is sick and will hurt you and others again. At least you've recognized the abuse and considered leaving before it's too late; some women can't bring themselves to leave. Their lives are short, miserable ones filled with terror, even if to the "outside world" they seem fine. Don't become a statistic! There is always a way; there are free legal advice/churches/clinics that are willing to help. It won't be easy, but it is best in the long run. For one thing, it ensures there will BE a "long run"!

Answer 2

Well, why not talk to your senior family members and also get some IMPARTIAL person to give you two a secong opinion? Look I am not going to give you any astrology here (though I can). My honest opinion is planets can only favour those who bother to try out the humane means. But people seek help from stars without trying the more humane things in the first place. Also do go and speak to the local temple/church etc. Good luck

Answer 3

It depends upon what kind of abuse you are going through. Normally one should try to get into the root of what's wrong with the relationship. Some times the situation can be solved easily. Try and understand your partner. Listen to what the other wants to say. Taking the extreme step is easy but will not give you long term satisfaction, instead help understand your and your partners feelings. If you have a baby than think of the consequences. And if you really love your partner than you should give it a chance. Ultimately if you are sure that separation is the solution than you may go ahead with your decision.

Answer 4

I have prov en that you cannot change a person. Many times when you think that you can see a change in them it never last.

Sometimes, and especially if you are young and can start over, it is better
to make the change as soon as possible..

If you believe in prayers, start asking God right now to assist you with this choice of leaving this abusive relationship.

Then run, run, like the wind into this new freedom which He will prepare for you.

Answer 5

If you have a friend you can really trust then I would sugguest you confide in her about the situation. You need to talk to someone about it...and you will need to take the courage to move out in order for you to recup from all the hurt and pain. I know being India, a lot of tradition is involved, especially if your parent are not ready to listen to you. But if you are able to talk to Mum about it, then I would sugguest it (If you can trust that telling her would not cause more problem). Get people involved but be very careful who you speak to because they can either make it better or worse.
But you will have to get the courage to begin the process...be strong, you will conquer.

Answer 6

What if everyone on here were crazy and they all said that you should stay? Would you take their opinion and stick by it? You silly woman - this isn't something that other people can decide for you - if you feel you are being abused then either get out (as most women would do) or be miserable for the rest of your life. The choice is yours - not anyone on Yahoo.

Answer 7

For sure you need to live else where and if your partner is willing to go to counseling that would be great and you can go from there. If your partner is unwilling to see a therapist you have not other choice but to file for divorce. I am a Christian women but beating and abusing someone is not a Christian marriage to start with. Good luck and stand tall and strong not allowing the abuse to continue any further.

Answer 8

How is your relationship?
Does your partner:

Embarrass you with put-downs?

Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?

Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?

Make all of the decisions?

Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

Prevent you from working or attending school?

Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?

Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?

Force you to try and drop charges?

Threaten to commit suicide?

Threaten to kill you?

If you answered 'yes' to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.
For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Answer 9

there's a cycle in abusive relationships which includes 3 ranges: rigidity development, explosion, honeymoon. i think of you could wager which section your husband is in good now. he will promise you the worldwide to regain administration over you as quickly as back, and he will revert to the cycle using fact the rigidity builds and then the explosion of anger happens and injury to you happens. Anger administration classes do not artwork, a minimum of in the numerous situations i'm conscious of. The substitute that it takes for an abusive mate to undertake as a in charge guy or woman is in many circumstances too plenty and "pointless" whilst it comes right down to extremely making variations in reaction and behaviors. I spent 15 years "giving him a wager", and finally had the braveness to divorce after 24.5 years. What a distinction, what freedom, what zest for all times I now have! you will not understand what he's taken from you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and bodily till he's not on your worldwide. stay removed from him. the vast majority of homicides of females are dedicated via abusive companions who they have been attempting to bypass away or had already left. You and your infants are extremely worth plenty, plenty extra advantageous than he has ever make it easier to already know. with out him, pursuing the divorce, will unharness a exhilaration interior of you and your infants after the preliminary enable down and unhappiness are long gone. Abusive relationships, kinfolk violence, kinfolk violence, woman beater......despite you elect to call those kinds of persons, they're no stable to be around or stay with, even whilst the companion threatens injury or homicide if the female leaves the marriage/relationship. enable the divorce proceed. in one 12 months, you will look decrease back and spot the effects of doing so. And your infants could have a wager to recover from what they have seen and heard, as nicely. Your life has been lived for a while now, however the youngsters are in basic terms commencing to stay theirs. With what wisdom are you sending them on their journey?

Answer 10

Don't look to the stars for the answers to this question. Get out now! Don't look back. Abusers never change. Not even while in therapy and on meds. They just hide it better. Leave now!!!