I found out that hes has been talking with this person for a while....What should I do?He says hes not gay,but he found this person on craigs list and I found out that he actually was on a gay/bisexual chat line. I even talked with the other party and he said that my bf said he was bi???? Nothing but lies!!! After almost 9 Yrs Im broken hearted and dont know which way to turn.
2006-11-26 20:15:19 · 14 answers · asked by justjellybeans 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't look at from a point of view that you found out he is gay that is only going to confuse you more. Look at the bigger picture he has lied, and has betrayed your trust. I would at least talk to him some more see if he opens up, and if that fails miserably (which I am sure it will, but at least you tried) dump him. No one should ever be lied to in a relationship no matter what the sexual prefrance. When in a committed relationship it should mean that you are committed to that partner, and trust is the standard foundation when that is gone so is the relationship.
2006-11-26 20:24:28 · answer #1 · answered by foxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must really suck. To not know something like that after 9 years with someone must hurt a lot. Your boyfriend might say he's not gay to you, but if it is true that he has been on a gay chat line there is really no other explanation. It's just not something a straight man would do.
The question now is what do you do about it? It isn't easy to throw away 9 years with someone, but the fact is that the person you are with is not the person you thought he was. If he is indeed "bi", could you live with that? I know I couldn't. You need to sit down and talk this through. Get him to be honest with you for once, and tell the truth after all this time. Ask him what he wants, and decide what you want too. It's a big shock, and you should try to avoid a knee-jerk reaction. However, you may just have to face the fact that this isn't the man for you after all.
Good luck.
2006-11-26 20:20:55 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is it at all possible he may be bi-curious? It happens you know to men and women. My brother did almost the same thing, he met a guy in a bar and gave him his cell number. Two weeks later the guy called him to meet up for a drink. After he didn't come home that night his gf started getting into his emails and found him talking to all sorts of guys online. Needless to say that was 5 years ago and him and his gf got married last year and are expecting their first baby in January. Talk to him.
2006-11-26 20:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by Confused 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel for you, I would probaly be devastated too. The question you have to answer for yourself is are you willing to share him with a man? If you are, how do you know he is having protective sex with him? The consideration must be taken as to whether or not he is, not just because the other person is a man or a woman, the thing that would be most pressing for me would be whether or not he could infect me with an STD or worse yet, HIV. Only you can make this decision for yourself. I am sorry for you and certainly do not envy you. Bless your heart.
2006-11-26 20:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by rosey 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not easy to tell people that you are gay.
Many people live "straight" lives just to avoid the situation.
However, the very fact that your bfriend of 9 years is cheating on you is the real problem.--Whether it be male or female!
Can you still trust him?
Does the idea of comparing BJ techniques with your man turn you off?
Has he even come clean?
Without trust, you have nothing.
Don't be afraid to move on.--He already did.
2006-11-26 20:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by negrito con sabor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah he's gay... Im sorry hun... It happened to my best friend recently too.. She caught her bf in gay chat rooms and shi* then two weeks later he broke up with her for a dude and said they could still be together but the guy will be apart of the relationship too... Its sad but true !
2006-11-26 20:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by BrideofTyr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On line meetings are questionable. Get out there and meet people face to face.
2016-05-23 08:36:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your bf is bi learn to share or move on
2006-11-26 20:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by Normefoo 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you need to decide...should I continue to see him,and worry about him getting his bunger opened up by strange men at highway rest stops when I'm not around. Or should I find I guy who doesn't bat for both teams?
2006-11-26 20:18:43 · answer #9 · answered by Carl The Green's Keeper 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should discuss it with him. explain that lies are not acceptable. find out the whole truth and see if you still fit the picture. good luck.
2006-11-26 20:22:09 · answer #10 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋